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...and then reality kicked in.

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...and then reality kicked in.

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 7

wow, what a great way of putting it. 'Smoking is no longer a justifiable reason to excuse myself to get out of an uncomfortable situation' you have hit the nail on the head. hang in there [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/4/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 100 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $50 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 10

Hold on Jazz!! Take a breathe.. take a long drink of water.. move around... take some pics... Proud of you!!! Hang in there... we're here for you! marcy

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 89

Thank you, thank you, thank you all, yet again, for the incredible support that you have shown me. It is so very comforting. I was having a poopy day, and people were annoying me and I was so overwhelmed with emotion. I am actually telling it like it is now...not hiding what I am feeling. Good for me, BAD for the people I work with...hehe... Today is a new day though, and I am moving forward and taking it as it comes. Tutti: I would not worry too much about your emotions changing. Emotions are different for everyone. I think (and Nonic got it right) that I used them to cover up what I was really feeling. I was a heavy partier about 8-10 years ago...and I did drugs and heavy drinking to cover up what I was really feeling inside. I quit the drugs and drinking, got myself into therapy and dealt with myself....however...I still had my cigarettes. Which to me, masked nothing. Now I am finding out, they masked A WHOLE LOT!!!! Oh and Tutti...I cannot wait until I have 20 days under my belt...you are quite inspiring!!! Nonic: Those words are beautiful and they make soooo much sense. They are beautifully written as well. Hehe...and I liked your little "dis ting" in your first comment...ya mon! Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me... One thing is for sure though...we are all quitting together and staying quit together...and that is so awesome!!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/6/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 87 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 27 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 89

Thanks Nonic...and yes, I was definitely an emotive smoker. Even before I smoked, I was highly emotional and sensitive. I am also very empathetic and pick up way too easily on others emotions. I am in the process of trying to differentiate (sp?) between what is mine and what are other peoples...does that make sense? I picked up my first cigarette at 13 and started on a pack a day at about 17 or 18...so I hardly remember who I was without toxic, mood and mind altering substances controlling my body...but I am extremely excited to find out! Thanks for your support...you seem to be very spiritual and understanding...and that is so beautiful. You are a major inspiration...and I mean that. Thank you for sharing your strength... JAZ [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/6/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 88 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $20 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 89

Those first two days were easy...so easy that I was scared it was a facade. Turns out, the devil has reappeared upon my shoulder and is digging his pronged trident into my brain. He is much harder to flick away today, yet I have kept him suppressed with positive intentions. I now have to face reality. I can no longer run and hide when a problem arises. I must learn to deal with life head on, no holds barre and stand up for myself, my mind and my thoughts. Smoking is no longer a justifiable reason to excuse myself to get out of an uncomfortable situation. I am finally seeing myself, eyes wide open, and letting out years of hidden emotion and repression. It's a very scary thing to face, yet empowering and esteem building at the same time. I am finally going to meet myself. I am finally going to meet who I am really meant to be....but that will not come without strength, perserverance and determination. And you best believe I am determined to squash that devil, until he can no longer see. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/6/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 72 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $15 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 12

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1543

Though hard... in some ways it is exciting to experience a new person that was hidden behind a smoke screen. Sometimes I don't recognize the new person....but I like her. ;p Mercy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/21/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 47 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 956 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $210.09 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 932

Shoot, I'm missing out and I want to know what I'm missing here. I feel better as a Non Smoker physically. And I'm proud of my 20 day quit and I Love being a Non Smoker. But, my emotions haven't changed. Not that I've noticed. I keep seeing these posts about how cigarette smoke masked emotions. My emotions were very intense as a smoker whether I was sad, happy, mad, worried, etc. On a scale from 1 - 10, my emotions have been right about an 8+. I'm not finding a change in my emotions as a Non Smoker and I just know I'm missing out on something good. Hopefully, my emotions will tone down a wee bit but so far, nothing seems to have changed. I guess we all see the light at different stages, right? Stay Strong!! Tutti [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/18/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 20 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 908 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $71.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 984

I'm with you jaz been feeling that way a while now myself: [url=http://www.stopsmokingcenter.net/support/viewmessages.aspx?forum=10&topic=36570]http://www.stopsmokingcenter.net/support/viewmessages.aspx?forum=10&topic=36570[/url] The problems will intensify, old Satan will sharpen the prongs and you'll get through it all without the cigs. It's hard, it sucks, you feel a bit like an overboiled ham most of the time but when you do just take a deep breath and notice the lack of tickle. Log in here and count your days. Talk to us, we feel your pain. But mostly, we feel your joy and celebrate with you. Todash x [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 67 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,559 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �368.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 2

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 813

Jaz You got dis ting down...That's what its all about...Never forget that there was a non-smoking you before there was a smoking you...All you need do is jump down the rabbit hole and get back home again...It will take alot of visualization, immagination and creativity to get there, but YOU CAN DO IT...Make yourself the hero in your own story and its a done deal... nonic [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 74 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,794 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $518 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26

17 years ago 0 +0 / -0 813

Tutti I think what people are talking about is the fact that some people have masked their feelings with cigarettes...Everyone is different and there are probably a great many people who have not necessarily done that... nonic [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 75 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,805 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $525 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 13 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 27 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21

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...and then reality kicked in.