At last count I had 13,000.00 in tools not counting the saw mill which I sold after cutting some boards to build with. You could not buy a house full of furniture for this but you could buy a lot of sofas. The tools have paid for themselves. I think you would like wood work, it is relaxing especially if you keep it simple like candle sticks on the lathe or ornaments on the scroll saw. Little boxes too and wooden toys. It seems like a lot of money, but good tools cost a lot.
I don't make furniture any more because it is heavy. But I will get help to build the couch. Tim is using some of my tools and has been for two weeks so I will not feel bad asking him to help me assemble the couch and move around the heavier boards. The couch is seven feet long and opens up to make a bed. I'm going to get him to prune my fruit trees too. The only other furniture I will build will be lawn furniture. Another Cape Cod love seat. Garden benches.
SSRI's made me worse the second time round, I never made it a week. Even the first time they did nothing and I still had panic attacks. Mood stabilizers work but they give me a dry mouth and nose. CBT has been the answer for me.
That and avoiding situations like I'm in now which will pass in a week. It is nice having a pension all be it small and owning my house all be it small too. At least it is easy to heat. One more year and I get old age pension too. Then I can afford a better car. Living in the country I need some sort of vehicle. A minimum 15 miles to the nearest store. Good driving exposure.
I can't take ssri's either and I am fine with that too. What a nightmare that was. They're great for some and insanity for others.
So taking exposure in small does works best for me than. Cycling exposure with rest. I find there's really no need to get into excessive All or Nothing type of thinking. So yesterday I did go out to a furniture store to take a look. Of course the sales person did talk non stop about everything under the sun. He was a nice young man with a new baby and had lots to say. So it was a little hard to focus on the job at hand. Plus I have never seen so many sofas in my entire life. My brain went into over load and shut down with all the talk and choices..
So Today I am resting after yesterdays exposure as it should be. I am very comfortable here at home and I fixing a batch of black eyes peas. I guess you could call it a little reward of sorts after yesterdays exposure. I'll continue my exposure and search on another day.
Red..
p.s. It sure must be nice to be able to build your own furniture..
Something I had to accept and found hard was that I cycle. Some times I get tired of the struggle and just take a break. I always pick it up again. It could be that I'm a bit low on Seratonin but not enough to need medication.
I'm fine with this because I can't take SSRIs.
I have space to fill when Karin moves out with her stuff. I'm thinking of making another futon couch. I have some nice clear Douglas Fir that would match the book shelves. My last one got moved out when Sunny was here to the garage and I sold it to a friend.
Since this forum title is about goal setting and exposure planning I am going to work on getting out and shopping for a new sofa. I have researched the local furniture stores online over the last few weeks so now it has comes down to actually going out and doing the exposure work and dealing with the outside world again. This is the hard part.
Not sure when I complete this final this step in the process.
I take that back I may cook dinner for the holiday and I may not. The phone calls and distractions from outsiders are starting already so who knows I may lose my incentive and interest in it all and refuse to cook or celebrate this year. I may just take a little holiday and ignore them all and engross myself in a good book or a little quilting instead on the holiday this year..
Don't be fooled it just looks and sounds like I have a lot of initiative..
I am forcing myself to do things at this point. So today I took a break.
Tomorrow is another day..There's always tomorrow as they say.
This coming Thursday I will be cooking a Thanksgiving dinner for the two of us. So I will busy my self cooking frozen pies earlier in the week and such. Than after that, maybe I will start looking for some direction or a hobby to work on again..
Got brave and went out and weeded a 2' x 8' patch of my flower bed this afternoon. I did get tired, light headed, dizzy and my heart started pounding but I did not panic. I just waited till I could get my bearings then went and sat down for a little while. I Got myself a drink and made a little snack.
No need to panic..All is fine now..
I think I am learning how to pace myself..
Before I would of pushed it to far.
Now I listening to my body and resting when it tells me to and I think I am finally starting to ok with it too.
I did hear from my Dr and she said my numbers were ok. Even so my physical and mental condition continued to degenerate so I made the decision to stop my meds last week. I am starting to feel much better now. I may go back to the meds and try them again once I am better..but for now I am happy doing what I am doing.
Yesterday I started thinking about working on my hobbies again so I started cleaning up the garage and making room to do just that. I am happy with the progress I made yesterday. I was finally able to move forward and let go of some things from my past. I shredded lots of old papers I had been holding on to for years. It was a purging of sorts. I also gave away some things I no longer needed to charity. Some shirts and a couple of bikes and a case of baby wipes will be getting a new home. I am sure they will be appreciated by those who receive them. So yesterday was a very good day and I am moving forward again.
I still have lots to do. So it's back to work on this project today. I'll get a little more done today and that's ok, actually more than ok, it's Marvelous..
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