I believe I may be getting a grip on this problem, but I'm keeping my realistic view that I can easily slip back to no self control at any moment. Again tonight I had two low alcohol beer over a 2 hour period. My husband and I then met friends for a 3 hour dinner date at a local restaurant. I had two cocktails. I drank very slowly and feel no effect from the alcohol. It will be so nice to wake up Saturday morning with no hangover.
I'm learning that I don't need to drink enough to get drunk, that a social drink or two is ok. I'm learning how to control the drive to drink too much after the first drink.
I think that a big part of my self control is the fact that I'm feeling accountable for my actions now that I've joined this site. I believe that putting my habit and feeling out there for all to see, is making me open my eyes to just how out of control I was. I feel a sense of failure when I drink now, but the need to be honest about it and post it in this forum is giving me the desire and the drive to regain control of how I handle my alcohol intake.
Starting to feel like I'm slipping back into my old habit. Although I'm not allowing myself to get drunk, I'm certainly not sticking to my goal of once per week. Perhaps that was a bit unrealistic and I should try to abstain Monday to Thursday? I'd rather keep it to once per week....time to regroup and start again tomorrow.
I'm not so sure whether there is a trigger perse' but more habit/craving. I am not sure how to alter my activities to limit the drinking. In a sense I did limit my drinking by not allowing myself to drink to the point of intoxication, and I feel good about that. What I'm not happy about is that I didn't stick to my goal. I won't allow the guilt to bring me to the point of giving up, I refuse to give up, just like I refused when I quit smoking.
Wow thank you 68bird for saying such lovely things to me. I never looked at myself as being an inspiration for others, but finding out that I too can inspire someone to make positive changes in their life is a huge reward for me. I like your thoughts on reaching daily goals. I have been struggling this week with abstinence and have failed by not holding myself to drinking once per week, but have been successful in keeping it under control and not allowing myself to get intoxicated....1 - 2 drinks when I do decide to have an alcoholic beverage.
I wish you all the best 68bird. Two days is a great start. Thank you for helping me to see that my goal is achievable with hard work and determination. I am most definitely remaining true to myself, and I'm not allowing any short comings to bring me to the point of giving up.
Hey 68.... I can relate to how you felt about drinking more than you had intended. This weekend was way overboard for me. I had a lot of cocktails Friday night. I get sitting on the deck in the hot sun and before I know it, I've had at least 8 drinks. Same thing again last night. I am not drinking tonight and I hope to abstain all week. Not sure if I'll be successful, but I'm going to give it an honest try. I can't say I drank because I needed to, it was because I wanted to and the cocktail I was drinking was just so damn tasty. Today I'm back on the wagon and hoping for strength and determination to win the battle.
Hi Splitimage....after reading your post below, I must say that you are a very strong woman and you have inspired me. With all the changes you're experiencing physically, geographically financially, and emotionally, you are holding strong with the belief that things will get better. I am still struggling with making the decision about whether to cut back or abstain altogether from alcohol. When I read how you are going through so many changes yet able to stay sober and remain positive, it's made me feel as though I can get through my stresses without having to take a drink. I can battle my demons while remaining sober. Congratulations on three months sobriety, I will be thinking positive thoughts for you and great things to come.
Hold strong 68....one day at a time. I haven't had a drop of alcohol since Saturday. The thoughts and temptations are there, but I'm sticking to my goal of no drinking before the weekend. I almost caved in to the desire tonight, but I didn't let the urge win. I hope you've been successful in you three day goal. Baby steps are good.
Hi All.....I've been avoiding this site the past few days. I have failed miserably in trying to keep my alcohol consumption to only weekends. This week I've had drinks every night. I didn't allow myself to drink to the point of intoxication, but it was two to three a night. I'm angry at myself and frustrated that I can't seem to stick to my goals. I've had more and more stresses at work and the drinks help me unwind, I know it's no excuse for drinking and I need to find a better way to deal with the pressures and stresses of my job. I look at myself in the mirror and I feel disgusted. I have always been a very attractive, tall, slender woman. Now I see my face is changing and I have gained some weight and I hate seeing the changes in my body. Sometimes I think I really need to do stop drinking because I know alcohol is changing how I look, and other times I just feel like giving up, and that it's all part of the aging process. My vanity has always made me take good care of myself, now I'm starting to care less and less. I need to get a grip on this, I don't want to look horrible and I don't want my daughter to see me change due to the effects of alcohol. I keep telling myself I'll stop drinking on Monday, but Monday never seems to come. I feel like such a failure.
Hi Ashley....I do need to find a motivation to give me the strength to quit. I thought just the love I feel for my daughter was enough. I think that since I joined this site with the goal of simply cutting back was a mistake. I fooled myself into thinking I could just drink on the weekends. I tried with serious conviction to limit how much and when I drink, but it's very evident I can't do that. I need to stop altogether, and I admit there is a serious fear that's holding me back. I'm afraid to admit to my friends that I have a problem, and I'm afraid to give up something I truly enjoy. I try to tell myself that I can do this, I know what it's like to stop an addiction....it was 5 months yesterday that I quit smoking. So I'm well aware of how it feels to give up a "best friend". I just don't know why I'm not so willing to give up this horrible habit. My husband has been diligently working on building me a huge, gorgeous bathroom in our basement, and I need to get it painted in the next few days, perhaps even this weekend. My issue is I keep thinking that this is going to interfere with being able to drink. I should be looking at it as an opportunity to NOT drink. I guess that could be my motivation today Ashley....and I also need to do some serious cleaning and organizing in my rec room because it's in a shambles since we've been under construction. Ok today im going to give it a whole hearted effort to not drink at all. Lord give me strength.
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