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Posts created by Jacques

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

First Day!

Hi Andy,

Welcome to the program. I'm sure you will learn a lot about how to handle depression from both the program and the people on the forum. Keep us posted on the progress!

Jacques

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Hopeless

The program will teach you to focus on your successes and to take charge of your life. You have sought help, which is in my opinion the most difficult step of all. Even though you had problems posting a new message, with your persistence you were able to post. You were focussed for 25 minutes. I would have given up long before!

Don't focus too much on your husband. From your message it sounds like he has major issues, he has to work through, too. I know that spousal support is important. But if for some reason he cannot provide the support you need, you could go and find support somewhere else. Maybe there is also a support group in your neighbourhood and also many of the people here have gone through tough times. We know what you're going through.

Your daugther is lucky to have a mother like you. A parent who clearly is persistent, is the best parent a child can have. We often forget that many of us have been struggling for decades with depression. We have faced severe threats to our health many people without mental illnesses will never face. And we have been facing them for decades; often by ourselves without any support. That should count for something, don't you think!

I may sound very positive right now, but I can tell you I'm not. I too am struggling and I will see my business go down the drain if I don't get a handle on my life soon. I'm trying to look at it as a learning process and it feels like lessons in surviving torture by a Blackwater-Al Queda coalition. I have as one of my goals to take a shower before 10 AM... and I am failing on most days... I don't think I can go much lower than that. But I'm trying to hang in there... and the encouragement of the people (both the health educators and the participents) is helping me through the most difficult times.

So please, keep us posted and let us know how you are doing with the program.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Time for change...

Maybe bottoming-out is not the right expression... I realize right now that I'm moving from a resistance phase to an acceptance phase. From "I don't want to feel bad" to "So I feel bad, I want to do something about it". Even though the last two days were behaviourwise most likely the worst in this episode, I noticed that feelingwise they did not have a very negative influence. I seem to have accepted the depression as a fact and know that I have (at least some) influence in regards to the effect the depression has on my life.

One of my biggest problems is that I am very judgemental. That is part of my personality and I won't be able to change that. I will need to learn to accept that some things are outside my realm of change. I cannot change the triggers of depression, I can only change my life to avoid the obvious triggers.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Hopeless

I'm close to getting a grasp on life again... My remark about the shower was rather cynical. If you have to set a goal like taking a daily shower before 10 AM and are pleased when you meet the goal, you have gone pretty low. Just a few days ago I would be devasted for not being able to meet the goal. Currently I have to laugh for even having set the goal

(and I'm still not meeting it every day).

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Do I tell my boss?

Pete;

Personally I think your GP's advise was at least incomplete. Mental illnesses have a stigma and I don't deny that, however good employees are kept despite work hampering illnesses as long as the employers know what they can do to make things easier for the employee. Employers often invest large amounts of money in training etc., so making the workplace easier for a sick employee is often cheaper than training a new employee... On top of that: employees who have been facilitated with their desease are often very loyal and often become the corporate memory of the organization.

Besides that an employment gap in your resume will also result in questions with future employers and you will need to explain it. So the issue will come out anyway. You can create a web of lies, but seasoned interviewers pick up on lies and you will lose your chance on employment. It is better to come clean and tell that you were ill, had treatment and are ready to enter the workforce again. You do not have to go into detail what the illness was or what kind of treatment was provided. Do be ready to explain specific adjustments that may be needed in the workplace, such as no night shifts etc.. Your illness might even work in your advantage as you will have to live a very balanced life to limit the chance on a recurrence of the symptoms. By having a balanced life, your reliability factor for the employer increases.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Do I tell my boss?

Maybe I have a different view because I have employed people. Not every employer is the same and the focus is too often on the bad employer who would kick a sick person on the street as soon as he can. The worst are the new lower-management people, who need to make a career for themselves; they don't know yet how to value people. Tenured managers know how to value employees and look at the complete picture.

I think you are too hard on yourself. You followed the common perception that people with illnesses only cost the employer money. You shouldn't blame yourself for that. If your previous employer needed 4 people to replace you, you are probably much better employable than you think.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

How to avoid Holiday Stress Part 4

I would even be carefull with the fruit and the juices as they also contain a lot of sugars. I will mainly drink unsweetened ice-tea or plain water.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Is this caused by depression? Will it go away if the depression goes away?

I can only speak from my own experience and I realized quite quickly that medication by itself is not a cure, but it is one of the tools to heal myself... there still is a lot of work to be done. I have been dealing with depression my whole adult life. I was first diagnozed with clinical depression 25 years ago. I always kept it a secret and worked through my depressions. Even my wife didn't know I have been dealing with depression and thought that I had just extremely lazy periods. Quite a number of the techniques taught in this program, were techniques that I already used to cope with my depressions in the past. I was really good in keeping my depression at bay, so they wouldn't intfere too much with my life.

This time my depression is much more severe compared to previous times (except for 1 episode almost 20 years ago). Before the episode started I garnered all strength I had and went to see my GP. He put me on medication and we are still figuring out the exact dosis. Even though I am still decending, I do realize that since using the medication the decend is much more gradual and less dramatic. As a result it is easier to use the coping techniques and feel better.

Regarding the causes of depression there are many theories. Every depression is the result of chemical imbalance of the brains, so to "fix" the issue we need to find a way that the brains correct the chemical imbalance by ourselves. By using medication we are correcting the imbalance artificially. The trick is however to correct the brain functions so we correct the imbalance naturally. That where the therapies are focussed on.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Time for change...

I'm really starting to hate december; way too many functions to attend. Every day after I attended a function I am completely exhausted... The idea of going out with friends and have fun as an activity to replace negative feelings with positive ones, is definitely not working for me. Every social event is hard work for me... they always have been.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 52

Is this caused by depression? Will it go away if the depression goes away?

I guess I caused some confusion... what I was trying to say was that just meds alone would not be a solution, we still need other things to happen to handle the depression. Therapy, including the program on this website, is one the things that gives us the tools to make it happen. The more tools we have to handle depressions, the more effective we can treat our depression.

For myself I definitely need the meds right now. I hope I will be able to drop the meds in the future, but I know it won't be in the near future. It will be months if not years. I know I don't have the right dose currently, as I'm still decending further. But I also noticed that the decent is much less dramatic than with previous eposides; in that regards the meds are working for me, just not yet optimal.

So in short: I'm not discrediting the meds, I think that the meds work optimal when used with additional tools, such as therapy, good friends, sharing experiences etc. etc.

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