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Posts created by Courage1984

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Ups and downs

Dont internalize. Dont use it as evidence that your anxiety is hopeless (internal attribution error) when it is a reflection of their incompetence (external attribution error). I do the same thing lol thats how I know.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Ups and downs

Okay I was trying to be smart and I messed up the second part :*( It should not read external attribution error because it is not an error in your situation - it is actually correct/true. Gosh. My brain just blew a fuse.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Ups and downs

Omg. The first lady I went to who didnt knw anything was a family doctor/therapist. Trust me you want to invest in finding a good psychologist. I know its expensive but the suffering you endure is far greater. Are you in ontario?

Yes. When I panic I cant breath. My chest feels tight and uncomfortable. They are all symptoms of panic. Do you like exercising? Even doing 1/2 to 1 hr will burn some of that adrenaline and release happy hormones.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Loss of internal direction

Hey guys.

This is open to all but does anyone feel like their environment appears flat or dimensionless during or preceding a panic? Though I turn left, right, up or down - it feels like im not turning. I cant even verbalize the feeling really. It's like my brain has no center of compass.

Meh. (<--My new favourite word when anxiety wants to escalate. It's equivalent to yawning when a guy(or girl) across the room is noticing you. Kills their momentum instantly lol)

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

How to deal with what ifs

Guys,

Such a crappy night.

Cant sleep. Keep panicking.

Those dreaded what if thoughts are killing me. I keep thinking:

1. What if it never gets better

2. What if it stays like this forever

3. What if I commit suicide because what if I cant handle being like this forever (double what ifs :S)

Its 2.40am and im shaking, terrified, wishing I could leave my body but knowing that I am "trapped" makes me even more anixious. I know im having a weak moment but I cant help but curl up in a fetal position and raise my white flag in surrender. Im just sick of this. I need support but maybe my situation is not curable. Ugh. Again what ifs (what if my situation is not curable, what if I have a serious brain tumor causing these feelings).

Ughh. My mind is saturated in what ifs. Anyway Ill try to sleep ... or pretend to.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

How to deal with what ifs

Sigh.

I know. I cant help thinking what if mine is a harder anxiety to overcome. Like I wish I had your anxiety or driving anxiety or public speaking :( I always feel wierd and im tired of it.

What made things worse is that I did an ecg on the weekend because I thought I was having a heart attack and obviously my results were abnormal. Now I have to do followups because it said I have all these structural defects and apparantly I have a blockage. My heart rate was 165 because I panicked so badly. I dont have a history of heart issues, im very skinny, no cholestoral or diabetes and like I dont get it. Now I cant stop obsessing about this. Just wish I was normal.

How are you doing?

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

Adrenaline rush when trying to sleep

Hey !

I would do some light exercise 2-3 hrs before sleeptime. That way you are burning excess energy.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

How to deal with what ifs

Thanks Amet.

This group helps me so much. Every time Im nervous I think of you and everyone else who is also struggling and then I feel better knowing im not alone.

About your breathing focus, I read your comment in another thread that what if it lasts forever. I promise it wont. Just have faith in those ppl who have crossed the same bridge unharmed. I know you will also successfully pass this obstacle in your life. It requires patience and time.

Heres an experiment. I got it from this woman on tedtalks. So look at your environment and memorize how many red objects are there. Do this for 15 secs.

Now close your eyes.

Tell me how many blue objects you saw?

If you were like me, I didnt remember any. But when you open your eyes, youll see so many blue objects but because you did not put your AWARENESS on them but focused on red, you missed them. The point of this experiment is that whatever you put your awareness on, that is what youll see. I am implementing this and trying to be more careful in what I draw my awareness to. She also said view all challenges as gifts. Perhaps instead of demonizing anxiety we should see it as a gift. She also saif that if your challenges dont feel like a gift, its cuz you havent reached the end.

When is your appointment with the new therapist?

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

How to deal with what ifs

Ugh. For me it's the disorientation which anxiety brings that really upsets me. I have these obsessive thoughts of tracking my location to the cn tower. Why the CN tower? I dont know! And it triggers a full blown panic. It is so irrational but physiologically my body instantly reacts even though it's completely crap. God Im so drained mentally. How are you doing today? What time is your appointment tomorrow?

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 85

How to deal with what ifs

Same here.

It's like I know what this is, I know it's my flight/fight/freeze response but still I keep falling in the same trap. You would think that the body would habituate or get worn out but it doesnt. Sighhhhh*

I got such an amazing book that im reading

that applies to anxiety. It's called the Power of Now. Essentially Tolle purports that by living in the present moment, ends your pain and suffering because pain and suffering needs time to exist. For instance, for me, im like what if I panic again like the first time? My mind is focused on the past and future instead of living in the now.

Also he says not to identify with your thoughts. You are the conscious observer of those thoughts. Thoughts are not you. By saying I am anxious you have now identified with those thoughts and made it a part of your identity.

Anyway im only at pg 60. Still have a long way to go. It's funny when im clam, I can implement what he says but when I panic, im deaf, mute and blind to reason lol.

Let me know how it goes tomorrow. Crossing my fingers for you.

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