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6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How to deal with what ifs

Ofcourse.  

Im at work too.  I was just typing and suddenly I started to panic.

I just saw your other post.  

I was reading the anxiety work book and it states that:

Anxiety is normal and it naturally declines on its own, if left alone.  For ex if someone is driving for the first time, they are nervous and anxious.  But through repetition, they grow confidence and the anxiety gradually extinguishes.

Why anxiety stays -
By developing certain beliefs about anxiety ie. you cannot handle it, that it is horrible, you contribute to its persistence and perpetuation.  The goal of CBT is to stop you from resisting anxiety and allow it to happen as it will naturally decline on its own.

Applying this to you - You are saying I wish this could stop. Again this is resistance.  I TOTALLY know where you are coming from (ie I was there 2 days ago and I know its hard to be in that frame of mind when you are afraid) but we have to, even in our fear, speak the language of CBT to end this.  This kind of self-dialogue continues to supply it with fuel.

When the derealization symptoms pop up in my situation, I feel my heart racing and I am ready to panic but then I say: 

It's okay to panic.  It's totally fine. Panic is normal and natural.  I will allow it to happen and I will watch it as a 3rd person with my popcorn in hand. 

Allow the breathing fixation to happen.  Welcome it.  Have your popcorn and let it throw a tantrum while you watch like a boss.  Eventually it will go away.  It always does.  You have evidence of this because you said on the weekend you had several hours of not even thinking of it.  That is amazing.  It confirms that remission is totally possible.  Just trust me.  I am going through the same thing right now and it helped.
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How to deal with what ifs

That was me yesterday.  I actually did cry lol.  My mom walked in and I was like, it's allergies.  She bought it haha.  

It's okay to let the tears out.  There is no shame in feeling vulnerable.  Youre human.

Also, it\s okay if you have these down periods.  You have this forum to lift you right up.  Think of a boxer who just got punched.  View us like your coach, slapping your face, picking you up, spraying you with water, massaging your shoulders and pushing you back in the ring to show who is champion.

Ding, ding, ding, ding!
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How to deal with what ifs

No I totally understand.

But listen, you'll get there.  

Remember it is not a permanent disease - it is just anxiety.

Everyone has anxiety.  

My dog has anxiety.  When I try to bathe him, he runs.  That is his flight response activated.
Fishes have anxiety.  When you try to catch one, they flee. 
Coworkers have anxiety.  When someone gives them an assignment at 5pm on a Friday, they become dangerous.  Fight activated.

The difference btwn them and us is our beliefs and thoughts about anxiety otherwise physiologically we are normal (though sometimes that is hard to believe, or feel).  You will get there.  I had what you had and I conquered it. So I speak with experience. 

Hope you are feeling better.  Enjoy the sun.  
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How to deal with what ifs

Why breathing helps

When you notice your own early warning signs, regardless of what they are, they are due to the activation of the stress response (your sympathetic nervous system). You can read more on this by clicking here.

To calm down, whatever it is that you feel in your body, you need to activate your relaxation response (your parasympathetic nervous system.)

Different rates of breathing, result in different emotions and feelings in your body.

You breathe too much during a panic attack, resulting in hyperventilation.

What happens when you breathe too much?

Your heart rate speeds up.
You take in too much oxygen and your carbon dioxide levels lower.

This is known as hypocapnic alkalosis – or more simply put, your blood is too alkaline and makes you

light headed
dizzy
feel unreal
suffocating or smothering feelings
And a host of other symptoms.

You can read more about the symptoms of anxiety by clicking here.

When feeling unreal, light headed and dizzy, you panic, which of course, makes you feel worse and your symptoms increase.

Breathing is something that your brain takes care of, it is normally outside of your control.

If you are having a panic attack, you are breathing more than you should be, and you need to take control.

Taking control of your own breathing will allow the anxiety to melt away.

Controlling your breathing will

Calm your heart rate
Restore the levels of carbon dioxide, and your uncomfortable symptoms will go away

How to take control

If it feels like you are gulping in air, or notice that your belly really expands when you breath in, you are taking in too much air.

The uncomfortable feeling of panic breathing will naturally make you want to breathe more deeply, but don’t.

Your over breathing is the problem.

Breathe in, through your nose, slowly, do not gulp.

Breathe out slowly, through your mouth, as if you were blowing up a balloon. Make sure your exhale is longer than your inhale.

Each time you breathe out, relax your shoulders, let them drop.

Wait for the next breath to come. If you are gulping in air, you probably started to breathe in, before you needed to.

Wait

Wait for the next breath to come.

What to do if you are controlling your breathing and your mind is racing?

It is normal to have scary thoughts during a panic attack. In addition to taking your control of your breathing, you need to ground yourself.

This will take your attention away from your thought

6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How to deal with what ifs

I know. Find comfort in the fact that youre not alone. 

You will pull through.  The road to recovery will not be A to B in a straight line.  It will be 
A --- D ----Z ---- x ----- B -----X-----Z--------E ----- etc

Life isnt always neat but that is its beauty and its curse. 

Amet - youre having a crappy day.  I have lots of them.  I remember I told my therapist that I hate happy days - because it means sad days are ahead.  He said ....and then there will be happy days ahead of sad days.  So my dear, there are happy days ahead.  

I know you are in Toronto (like me) - did you have your lunch?  Do you take walks?  Find ways to burn off some of that adrenaline.


6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How to deal with what ifs

Amet, how was yoga? Did it help you feel alittle better?
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How to deal with what ifs

Okay im glad yoga helped. When are you seeing the therapist next? Try to see her at least once a week at the very beginning. 
6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cipralex and feeling sad

Hey Amet,

Wanted to reply to this.

I dont take meds for anxiety so unfortunately I couldnt answer that question. You need to speak to the dr who prescribed them  To answer your question from a non-pharmaceutical position,
 when the panic attacks are bad, yes I cry for absolutely no reason largely cuz Im frustrated , afraid and exhausted. 


6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cipralex and feeling sad

Amet,

On the weekend, you were feeling happier. Sadness is a feeling and they go away unless you are diagnosed with depression.

But feeling sad because anxiety is high is normal. I call this secondary sadness as oppose to primary sadness seen in depression. 

Please believe me when I say I feel the same way. We all have great moments and other moments in which we feel totally defeated. It is all part of the process of recovery. 

Please stop the self inquiry because it only perpetuates anxiety. Saying things like why isnt it going away, why do I have this, why am I fixated on my breathing are equivalent to asking what is the purpose of life? Why are we here? The reality is no one knows but its an uncertainty we accept. This can be applied to anxiety. Sometimes the triggers are obvious and other times it is more subtle or difficult to pin point. I had the same self inquiry ie. Why did anxiety trigger again but I realized after 1 year, that it does not serve a purpose nor does it help in recovery. All it does is create more fear, which released MORE fight/flight and became a vicious cycle.

Try to practise acceptance. I promise youll overcome this. You are stronger than you think.

6 years ago 0 85 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Cipralex and feeling sad

Also when you talk in what ifs, extremes like never, this is your anxious mind talking to you. Because youve identified with it, you are thinking it is true. When you have those thoughts, change the channel. The remote control is in your hands.