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Posts created by Shari

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Specific Phobias

Hi Anerol,

I understand how you feel and also have specific phobias. If there is a bug in my bed, it does make it hard to get back in there, even when it's gone. We had a giant spider in our house. My Aunt from Oklahoma shipped us a box of Christmas gifts and inside was a large and hairy tarantula like spider. My husband grabbed a broom and whacked it with the broom stick side and it put a dent in it's back and it ran into a hole in the laundry room floor. I said to my husband, "Great. Now you've ticked it off." It bothered me for awhile and then, like you were able to, I got over it. When we were in Florida, I had to face 3 of my most horrible phobias all at once and on a daily basis. My daughter almost died of food poisoning and was hospitalized. I wanted to be with my daughter and had to 1) Park in a parking garage (claustrophobia, plus remembering The Pelican Brief parking garage scene didn't help either). 2) I had to go in an elevator to get to her floor. I had to talk to some nurses and tell them I had a hard time getting on the elevator and they showed me where the cargo elevator was; it was really 4 times larger than the normal one. One nurse actually went with me which really helped. One time I couldn't find the cargo elevator, so I took the small one by myself and survived. My daughter was my motivation, I had to see her. 3) The room she was staying in was tiny, or so I thought, till they moved her to a closet sized one. I had to sleep there over night for 4 days and I just had to and wanted to do it for my daughter. She really needed me there and I had to put her needs over my own fears. It was rough, but I did it. I didn't know anything about positive self talk and exposure back then (I'm on Session 2 now). I really think it would have been a lot less stressful having the coping skills I have learned now. You are brave and I am proud of you and thank you for sharing. I appreciate you. You are doing a great job!!!

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Thursday Support Pledge

Ashley and Davit, I hold both of your hands to continue the chain of helping and reaching out to others today.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Preparing for your doctor€™ appointment

Please don't be afraid to tell your doctor. When my daughter left for college my panic was off the charts. I have found that doctors and other health care professionals (dentists, etc.) are very understanding and they don't think anything bad about you or your situation. They want to help. That was my experience.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

How´s the summer been?

This happened a few summers ago. My husband, daughter and I decided to go on a cross country trip from Southern Maryland to Oregon to visit my husband's parents. I needed a motivator and a reward to actually do this trip, and it had to be big. I contacted a lady who had a red and white Japanese Chin puppy in British Columbia and she sent me a photo via email of this cute little puppy. I printed the picture out and taped it to a notebook journal as a motivator and a reward for getting halfway through our trip. The puppy would be a good distraction on the long journey home as well. I made it fine to Buckeye, Ohio, until I saw the sign at the RV park, "Welcome to Buckeye, Home of the U.F.O.'s". That's when I offered my puppy money to my husband to turn the RV around and go back home. He said he would, if I really wanted him to, which took my immediate panic away. I thought about it and decided to continue the trip. I'm really glad I did, because if not, I would have never learned the following...Sometimes the need to be clean, far outweighs the fear of using public showers. When we stayed at a motel...A smoke free room doesn't necessarily mean smoke free pillow cases and smoke free sheets. In Kimball, Nebraska, they don't have "squidos" (translation: mosquito's). In the High Desert, it's so hot and dehydrating, that you can drink several gallons of water and not have to stop to use a rest room. It is so dry in Lander, Wyoming, you can step out of a shower and be instantly dry, no need for towels. Also, in Wyoming, it is necessary to apply lip balm to your lips at least 12 times a day, if you like to smile. Upon arriving in Wyoming's National Park, you are greeted with brochures of bear warnings and buffalo gordings. Buffalo poo is long lasting; especially on a shoe. The fragrant odor will last several weeks after you've returned across the country and have been home for at least 3 weeks. If you wear flannel in Wyoming, people will point at you and announce, "Look, there's a farmer!" The food was so bad, in one State, that if it wasn't for the dirt that kicked up in my mouth, I wouldn't of had breakfast at all. Most Westerners have never seen Chihuahua dogs before and honestly didn't know what they were. They, literally, thought they were desert rats. In Washington State, sheds are called "yard barns". Kansas has a 5 legged cow and a 6 legged cow and an 8,000 pound plastic prairie dog. You can buy prairie dogs, in Kansas, for fifty dollars (my husband was relieved they were sold out!). And, finally, don't eat rocky road ice cream while driving on a rocky road. It took 3 1/2 weeks for the entire trip and, believe it or not, it was one of the highlights of my life and I'm glad I didn't let fear, anxiety, or U.F.O's stop me from the experience. I would have truly regretted it.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Panick attack at stop lights

Hi,

I have the same problem. Session 1 of this program helped me a lot and reduced my axiety tremendously. I learned that my triggers are caused by Events (where I've had panic attacks before; like being stuck at a traffic light) and Physical Sensations. For example, my heart rate goes up at a stop light, if I focused on it, soon my breathing would change and the panic was coming on. Now, I'm aware, and I have a game plan. Positive self talk works (for all triggers): I am safe, I am not trapped, I can get out anytime I want to. I also pray, sing to a music CD and look around at the scenery. I also have a "panic paper" in my purse which has positive truths that counteract all of the negative ones: There is no danger, it's a false alarm, this feeling is only temporary. I have about a one page list and by the time I finish reading it, the light has turned green and I'm on my way again. I haven't gotten to the exposure session yet. But, the more I learn, the less afraid I am. Being stuck at traffic lights is the inadvertant associated fear. I place my fear on that object, being stuck at a light. But, really I am fearing the next panic attack. I used to be able to drive without fear and I tell myself, if I did it before, I can do it again. I just counteract the negative with positve. Also, I learned from Davit, that caffeine doesn't cause panic, but it can open you up to anxiety that leads to panic. I avoided coffee, but now, I can drink it, and when my heart rate goes up, I tell myself it's normal and it works. I don't try to drink a lot of coffee before road trips, because it is more challenging, but I can do it. Also, box breathing really works and physically calms you down. I hope this helps. I am going through this process, like you are and I know we will get better. As, Davit says, "It's learned behavior, so you can unlearn it, and it can be cured." I think we just need to have patience with ourselves and be kind to ourselves in the process and keep going forward if there are set backs.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Introduction... I like long walks on the beach and I might be crazy :)

Davit,

This is 100% true. I printed out your words of wisdom and put it in my purse as a reminder. I have your words from your response to my Python story also. If I get anxious or feel panicky, I will read them until the feeling subsides. I think I'm going to have to get a bigger purse.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Tip of the day...gratitude journal

Hi,

I've noticed that since I've been writing in my journal, that all of the negative thoughts are quieter and they are becoming more like back ground noise instead of being in the fore front of my mind. I feel more peace and less stress. Of course, I have off days, but I am having more good days than bad. The world we live in is very negative and we are trained to think that way from the beginning. That's why I don't watch the news; it will suck the life out of you and steal your joy. Focusing on the positive, will win over negativity. I've been learning that from Davit and it's really making a difference in my life.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

The "gag feeling"

I use Ayr Saline Solution. You just spray it up your nose and it works great. If you use it a lot in the winter, it may dry out your sinus' and when you blow your nose there may be a tiny bit of blood. But, then I just use it less.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

People Pleasing

It took me a long time, but I discovered, if you say, "No", it's not the end of the world and most people are fine with it and say, "Okay." If they're not, are they really your friend? It's also not necessary to explain yourself. I got to the point where I was tired of being angry at myself for saying, "Yes", to things I did not want to do and not enjoying the situation I was in. I was told, the older you get, the less you care about what others think. I don't know if that's true or not. I think everyone gets to the point of standing up for themselves in their own time.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1071

Exposure Success Story

Yesterday, my daughter cancelled her visit for another day. Usually, I would have cried and gone into depression. Instead, I decided to spend my time doing exposure work, although I haven't gotten to that session yet. I asked my husband if he wanted to go to the Gem & Mineral Show, and we were in the car, before I had time to think. Being agoraphobic, normally I drive, because I feel like I have to have control. But, I slipped into the passenger seat and thought, if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it all the way. The first challenge was not far up the road. A random police check point with cars being pulled over. We were waved by, before I got too worked up about it. Then traffic lights, bumper to bumper traffic and the like. I used my coping skills of talking to my husband and making jokes and looking around at the scenery and not at the stopped traffic. At one point, I closed my eyes and pictured my friend's avatars, Davit on his tractor, Cleo's Cavalier and Sunny's dog. I was thinking they were there for me and would cheer me on and we are all in this together, even in spirit. Davit's words came to me without pulling out my papers in my purse. I got through 4 bouts of accelerated heart beating and sweaty palms. I refused to focus on my physical cues and told myself to stop, there's nothing wrong, and it worked! When we arrived, there were crowds, but they didn't bother me - who am I? I bought a Spinosaurus dinosaur tooth and a fish fossil. When I got tired, I sat down and rested when I needed to. I hadn't had lunch and I started feeling poorly and open to anxiety, but wasn't to that point yet. We went halfway home and stopped for lunch which was a nice break. We went to a couple of crowded bookstores, again, no problems. We were three quarters of the way home and traffic got really bad. I just pulled out my knitting magazine and actually relaxed. My body was relaxed for the first time, in a long time, in the car. I was on the road for 3 hours. My husband and I rejoiced in having a successful trip! Thank you to The Panic Center, the Health Educators, and my friends from this website which includes everyone single person on this website.

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