Have been openly honest with people on a number of more occasions and certainly felt the fear as I waited for their response. So it becomes a two part goal, one to express, the other to be tolerant of the backlash. Of course, it isn't always backlash which also helps. Obviously the fear of being openly honest was the fear that heavy sadness or anger was going to result.
I'm still using email pretty heavily and can't even bring myself to answer the phone at work. I'd rather they left a message and I could prepare how to respond. I think it's a legitimate way to deal with it, essentially people phoning are expecting to jump the queue. By hearing their message, I can assess if I need to respond immediately or if other things have higher priority. Great rationalization eh?
Thanks Sylvie,
Many days on the treadmill at lunch and establishing a solid sleep routine have really improved my coping ability. I need to protect my sleep pattern on three day weekends when it is tempting to either sleep in or stay up late thus disrupting the carefully crafted circadian rhythm,
I know I would benefit from the stress releasing yoga but have been unable/unwilling to get out to formal classes lately and unable/unwilling to discipline the practice at home. True relaxation is a bit elusive right now, I always need to be busy doing something. Maybe that can be an upcoming goal. To just sit and be. So hard for me.
I found that the Dover Publications colouring books had many that were adult oriented. I have one of Tibetan Cultural Art that I found very soothing to fill-in. Kind of reminded me of the old doodle-art posters.
Thanks for mentioning it Sylvie. I had not noticed it though I'm pretty chicken to use IM. I've tried using it in other forums and have had my messages misinterpreted as criticism. Pretty anxiety provoking. And in those other forums, it was asynchronous, ie. the other person was offline when I sent my message.
I was privledged to be invited to the quarterly meeting of a church's leadership. I'm just a participant so it was quite an honour. At times during the meeting, I was experiencing extreme anxiety, especially when the whole group was talking at once. Very triggering to me, but I managed to hold my ground and allow my feelings and the din to subside. I did have to stand up and introduce myself and felt an expectation to make some kind of witty comments given many others were eliciting laughter from the crowd. Perhaps the fact that I knew everyone at least by sight if not having actually talked to them made it more tolerable but I was very impressed with how well I was able to cope in a situation that normally makes me very uncomfortable.
Hi Corryn,
I certainly share your frustration. I felt a true passion for teaching but as I made gestures to gain experience in that career, my social anxiety just flared that much stronger. Deep down, I am still desirous to practice but also have a heavy layer of trepadation after going through episodes of social anxiety directly related to classroom/co-teaching experiences.
Hi Ali,
this was one of those symptoms that I got the message was really interpreted critically by others so I practiced and challenged myself to overcome it. It still presents itself in situations where I'm faced with an attractive person of the female persuasion or an aggressive adversary.
I had to practice spontaneously on the weekend as part of our church service was to turn to the person next to you and chant some spiritual dialogue. I broke the tension by looking away occassionally.
It is one of those skills that can be learned and then is very personal. If I stare too intently at someone, that can be misinterpreted, so there needs to be a gentle balance.
I've been told by some people that I don't look into both eyes at once, which I imagine is true. I'll look into one eye or at the face generally. Looking directly into both eyes is pretty advanced and awfully intimate.
I"m sure the topic of caffiene comes up a lot here but I have managed to get through the day without coffee by use of an instant coffee substitute made from roasted grains, chicory etc. I am still dosing it with hot chocolate powder though I understand the theobromine is less intense in its effect then caffeine. On some level I like the buzz coffee gives but its "side effects" are not worth it.
I also did some much needed bodily stretching today at lunch and could feel the tension and tightness that has been accumulating. I hope to make the yoga/stretching a more consistent practice.
One of my coworkers has gone on vacation and I've been asked to fill in for him. The pace of his work is much faster than the projects I normally deal with so I have been getting caught up in the frenzy of the volume of work to be done.
On the success side, with the phone ringing so much, I finally started simply answering it versus waiting to listen to the message. All this additional interaction via telephone and email is helping to improve my social fears. Practice makes perfect. Or experiencing a bit of discomfort in order to gain comfort.
I attended a conference as a volunteer for the Canadian Mental Health Association. There were workshops presented by University research teams that essentially confirmed that CBT is recognized as the leading successful psychology tool in the treatment of anxiety and depression, likely others related.
I have had training though perhaps inconsistently practice. I suspect that one would want to reach a point where the process of thought identification and then the countering/rational response becomes more automatic.
Give it a good effort and you should reap rewards of progress.
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