Having only recently being returned to full time and full duties at work, I am struggling to cope with day to day pressures. I have to meet what I am perceiving as a very demanding client tomorrow (face to face) for what has been scheduled for a many hours meeting. She has inundated me with information and documents and I have reached a point where I am frozen with anxiety. I don't know what I"m expected to do and am dreading having to fill many hours with "I don't know". In reviewing what she has sent me, I don't know what I"m supposed to be looking for and am feeling a bit hung out to dry.
I also know that if I just keep moving forward, I'll find little clues and make progress but I need to move out of the freeze. My vision was actually clouded earlier by the intensity of my panic. Drinking a series of strong coffees only confirms my negative dependence on the bean. I need to really calm way down if I am going to make it through today and not freak out prior to this meeting. I also know that the anticipation can be worse than the actual event, and use that knowledge to counter the building panic.
I can see that getting clear of coffee, exercising regularly and establishing a solid sleep routine would be excellent supports. None of which I'm practicing. At this point I'm just trying to consiously calm myself with deep breaths and commanding the heart to slow down, venting out into this forum is a huge part of my coping right at this second.
Wish me luck.
In hopes of continuing to address my rising fear, I talked to one of the coworkers about this client trying to get a read, hopefully being better prepared will help ease the tension.
I know when I was at school and was always expecting the worst when it came time for exams, being as prepared as possible was my way of coping.
I am putting the vast multitude of documents she has provided onto a laptop instead of printing them which is the way I prefer to manage them, plus it gives the ability to cut/paste and edit on the fly. This seems like a better way than making notes on paper versions, not to mention wasting all the paper.
I have another face to face meeting this afternoon with a whole room full of people but I am less anxious about that one than meeting with this one person. It is my perception that her expectations are very high and I am being viewed as an expert. What a reputation to live up to.
continue to wish me luck.
I've heard that one way to dissipate anger is to participate in an "impact" sport. Banging a tennis ball against a wall, or using your hand as the raquet as in handball. Perhaps kicking a soccer ball against a wall might be similar.
I was balled up in anxiety over the last week and played handball with a soft ball against a sturdy wall for a few minutes, if only to get the energy and my body moving.
It has been suggested to write angry letters, but when I tried that one time found I couldn't manage without ripping the page. Instead I spoke my angry words into a recording device and again used physical movement as I listened back to it to release all the anger.
An appointment was made to meet face to face with a client. I had talked to them on the phone and had obviously picked up the intensity and high expectations that they had.
The anticipatory anxiety leading up to the meeting was almost unbearable, the worst I have experienced for quite a while. The actual meeting wasn't as bad, only had some minor persperation and did speak up assertively on a number of occasions. It was the uncertainty and imagined experience that really drove my tension through the roof.
That would be a phobia of social interactions.
I was experiencing crippling anxiety earlier this week. I had to meet a client for the first time and was just dreading it. I could barely function, which is really bad when you are expected to account for every minute of your day as billable time to one client or another.
I realized that it was a combination of factors that had led up to this straw breaking the camel's back, but I rode it out, getting plenty of rest (which could be interpreted as avoidance), being gentle to myself and accepting the symptoms. Trying to work down the thoughts that may have been worsening the condition.
On the day of the meeting, I went to the fitness centre and went on the treadmill for a while to dissipate some of the nervous tension. It may have backfired a bit as I was still perspiring when I got to the appointment which fuels further perspiration.
I wasn't far off with my premonition as the client was very demanding and exacting in their expected outcomes. I am just glad I didn't allow the peaking of anxiety to push me beyond continuing to show up for work and press through necessary tasks.
Hi Diva,
You raise some similar points to me. Since moving to an apartment I haven't been happy with, I find it unpleasant to shower. I rationalize that if the water pressure was higher, it would be more pleasurable.
Many people avoid the bus like the plague and for that very reason. It is widely accepted that the inside of a bus can be a very germy place, I wash my hands as soon after I get off being on a bus.
I'm apt to wear earplugs much of the time to avoid having to endure the racket of the city. Motorcycles, construction equipment, helicopters whatever, I just find it more pleasant to tone down all the background noise.
Regarding large gatherings and feeling cramped, I often attribute to being unsure that I can find a speedy exit. As long as I can see my route away from the crowd, I am more tolerant.
I studied with Toastmasters for at least 3 years to tackle the public speaking one. Haven't been for a while and getting rusty. Have been investigating a doctor who runs clinics where you turn your mental health issues into a stand up comedy routine. Then give the performance to an audience. yikes.
I had a good experience on the weekend when I had volunteered to host a teleconference specifically for people with social anxiety and related afflictions. I handled it pretty well and the more experienced moderator jumped in a few times with some additional info but I wasn't shattered by that. I have offered to host the teleconference regularly for three months. A good exercise on its own but also the content is focused specifically on healing social anxiety.
I took the celebratory day as an excuxe to send many people in my email address book a brief note wishing them a happy day. One responded with a dinner invite but I chose to stick with my original plans, however isolating they were. I fear sending the wrong message since I've been caught in that trap before.
And actually my plans of rehearsing music that I have to perform tomorrow night for a senior's centre is always a good use of my time. And I found a very good book from the library, Jonathan Berent on the topic of Social Anxiety that I need to give my attention to versus being distracted from reading.
The only time I fear obsessiveness is when I experience "WORRY" that doesn't seem to let up and just torments me every waking moment and then even wakes me up from sleep to have a further audience.
on a lighter note, I wouldn't mind being a bit more obsessive about housework, I am experiencing symptoms of depression and find it difficult to maintain a tidy household. For example, the carpets haven't been vacuumed for literally months. Perhaps it is obsessive avoidance of doing unpleasant tasks, not recognizing the joyous reward of a clean abode.
Hi Sue,
I often am faced with that conundrum too. I think I have a pretty good sense of when I am indulging in an activity that I am using purely to distract. When I actually consiously choose a positive activity to make good use of my time, then I can feel good about it.
There are some people that suggest allowing yourself time to sit and be with whatever is troubling you, setting a time limit on how long you allow. When something is really eating at me, I try to express to others perhaps in forums or to myself in the form of journalling. But find it better to address it to some extent than just run and hide from it regardless of what form the distraction takes.
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