Venting on panic, fears and my job

hmmm "hear" was supposed to be "heart" lol! As in my heart goes out to you :) -Diva

Exams soon please help!

Thanks Isabelle and danielle for your help tonight. I had a minor panic attack but i wrote it down in my symptom tracker and decided not to focus on it. I decided to be proud i controlled it so well and that it was minor :) Thanks for helping me with this. I am done studying and i figure i am ready for this. So all i need now is to go rest so i can be in good shape tomorrow. so i figure i will go read a nice book till i fall asleep with it lol Anyway, wanted to thank both of you for your help, it was a rough night tonight but i won! -Diva

Exams soon please help!

Hi I did my exam this morning and i was fine. I think i did well too :) It took me a whole 1 hour to do it lol. I had really prepared for it. I was really reved up tho doing the exam! So since i had the rest of the day off i went shopping too! I called my mom since she had the day off and we went shopping for jeans which i really needed. It went well and i found real nice clothes and a great pair of jeans :) Even found a pair of corduroy pants for 15 bucks! So anyway, i did my exam and lived now i just want to calm down and relax and enjoy the rest of my day ( which i gave myself the day off). -Diva

Hmm cognitive restruturing or challenging your thoughts.

Is it normal if sometimes challenging your thoughts makes you a bit more anxious at first? As if focusing so much on your anxious thoughts makes you a bit more anxious? Today i was doing my thought challenging for week three and it kept leading me to another thought. I ended up using three sheets for the same thought in a way. Like "oh no i am having trouble transitionning", I deal with that but "i will panic because of it" pops up. New sheet feel a bit more anxious, deal with the thought challenge it then "Oh no panicking will ruinin my day and reset me back in my progress!" Do the thought challenging, follow the instructions, feel a bit better. But considering i got more andxious during, i am not that ahead from before i started lol. And i thought this might just be because i am not use to focusing consciously and analysing and looking at every angle of a anxious thought and not used to challenging it. I thought that might be why i had a small increase of anxiety in the process but i dont know for sure lol So i wanted to know, is it normal at first if it does that or am i just doing something incorrectly? anyway, thanks! -Diva

Hmm transition anxiety?

Hi! I did my exam today but now i am having trouble transitionning to having a calm afternoon and evening again. I came home and made the beds. Then i did the dishes. Then to tone it down i did laundry and wrote my e-mails. Now i am eating and posting here. Then i think i might try coloring or reading. I am really trying to do a tep by step transition but it is still very tough for me to just mellow out. I feel very stressed out about not relaxing lol. Anyway, i will keep trying to do positive self-talk and do the slow transition thing but if anybody has any tips or advice i wouldnt mind them lol -Diva

depression

Hi, I while back i had a real deep depression while dealing with this anxiety thing. So now when i relapse I become afraid of getting really depressed again. So this time around in this relapse i was really just being analytical and trying to be positive and kind of avoiding expressing to much emotion especially when it was sadness or anything leading to it. Now my therapist noticed this and asked me to challenge myself and start expressing my emotions (little by little) again to those around me and in my journal and everything. Well i started last night but i noticed i was sad so that made me anxious. So now i want to know how i can challenge that thought, and i mean really challenge it. I want to challenge it so i know that being sad wont make me depressed! so that when i am sad i dont get anxious on top of it. Especially cause atm being sad makes me anxious and being anxious makes me sad. So i want to challenge that! I am in session three and i am trying to learn how to challenge my thoughts on my won but i could sure use help on this one :) Thank you -Diva

Went out to eat today and lived!

Well this thread seems like the right place to write this. I went shopping today after my exam and i lived! Since my relapse i got anxious in malls and when shopping but today i did well. I went shopping and ended up kind of having fun. Plus i found some cool clothes that i really needed! So that is a good success in my day! -Diva

Personal Question (being romantic)

ok i found the appropriate thread for what i need to say. And i want to thank Angel for starting it!I was too embarassed to start a thread bmyself! Thank goodness for the search function and for Angel! Well my problem with being let's say intimate with my husband is not just lack of mood. Sometimes when my anxiety is down, the mood could come over me but then I get really scared! That is because the physical arousal or the act itself of being intimate had physical senstions that remind me of panic attacks (sweating feeling hot, fast heart-beat, breathing different....) And that freaks me out!. It is also the problem i have with just plain exercising. And I feel bad because my poor husband is being very patient and he doesn't ever ask for anything in this area he is very respectful of that but I am afraid i have not been able to attend to any of his needs for well since december at least! I feel so bad for him. Plus, before the relapse i did like having sex with him! so i miss it. I also miss the intimacy that comes with it! Anyway, any advice or whatever on this would be appreciated... Thanks /blush -Diva

I don't know if this is in the appropriate section but,,,,

I am still having difficulty being with my husband. and this has nothing to do with physical intimacy. I just have trouble interacting normally with him. And i hate it! it makes me sad and mad and scared! I want to have fun with him again. I managed to have fun with my mom, my dad and brother why not with him. I get all anxious whenever we go to have any time together. We have an evening together and i panic. We havent had any activities together since december except i think maybe three hours of t.v. watching in three different occasion since december! We do not eat supper together. We only talk when we are doing something else at the same time. We tried to have supper and watch a movie and i panicked. But i had already told you guys about that. It had gotten so bad that we rarely spend time together in the same room till the end of the day when i am medicated ( I do not take my medication till late at night or i feel drowsy all day). The only time i can remember lately that we did something together is that he helped me with making the lunches on monday for 5 minutes. and i managed not to panic during that time and thank him for his lovely help. and the por guy is trying so hard to stay out of my way so i can be calm and i know he feels like he doesnt have any room that can be his in the house except for the bedroom. Be cause of course i have not managed to sleep in my bed with him since december. And i need my sleep so badly to be able to work the program and get better that i am not even thinking of trying to get back into my bad anytime soon. So i sleep on a futon in the living room. I used to sleep on the couch but my brother bought me a futon so i could stop having back pain. he is so nice. Anyway, i feel sad and i am crying and now i am afraid i am getting depressed lol so i am anxious. I just want to be able to be normal with my husband again. Just to tell you how bad this is, the other night i got real happy because after having been heavily medicated (all my meds had been taken at the time) i managed to read my book in my futon while he was playing ps2 lying on the couch. and i managed to hold his hand (yes he knows how to play one handed lol). and i felt all happy because we handt help hands in so long. and i missed it. And i managed to

Personal Question (being romantic)

yes i will try that thank you :) -Diva