Kitty: The thought record is really something you should do. Before I came to DC, a counselor that I was seeing gave me a copy and we talked about it and I used it for a while. It does help, but with everything else, you have to continue doing it until your thought processes actually change from the negative thoughts to the positive thoughts. I'm still working on keeping up with that. It's so easy to let it go by the wayside....
I agree with you, Goofy, about the negative thoughts. They just seem to spring into the mind automatically and it seems to take a lot of effort to think about, analyze and restructure thoughts in your mind to see them as positive.
I've got to say I'm impressed that you've even entered into a relationship because that's something I can't even see for myself in the future. Seems he's understanding with you. I'm sure you've talked at length with him about your depression. You go for it, Girl!!!
Welcome, Erika. This is a good place to come. We can be really honest about ourselves and others here because of the anonimity. Be sure to make an effort to work the program. It works when you do! Again, welcome!
This is interesting. About a year ago, my mother said to me, "I just don't think you're a happy person. You're just like your Aunt Carol and your grandmother. They weren't happy either." I started thinking back then (after I got over being angry with my mother) that maybe it is something that runs in families. I also thought of my father as being quiet and reclusive and now maybe he was depressed. All of these people are on my paternal side. I hope neither of my children become "afflicted" with this disorder. It's very frustrating to be a particular way and have to struggle not to be that way.
After spending almost 3 weeks with family over the holidays, now that I'm back to my "normal" life, I'm finding it difficult to get back into my DC homework. I felt fairly well when I got back, and of course didn't think I needed to work on my depression, and now that I'm struggling with the depression again, I'm finding it hard to get back into my Toolbox and start working again. It's so frustrating!!! This whole depression thing is frustrating! When I talked with my counselor last week, I told him that I hate having to do mood trackers, thought records, journal, meditate and everything else I work on to try to be normal. Normal people don't do this and I feel almost like it's a part-time job. I just want to be normal. Just venting....
Thank you so much for the support. I know what I have to do, but I just have to get started. Once I start, I know it will be easier. So good to hear that others have the same dilemna. Tomorrow I will make a goal to start doing the "homework" again.
Thanks, Kittykat. You're right about January being a hard month. It's a let-down after the holidays and winter is in its worst month. I haven't started my thought records or mood trackers yet, but I have written quite a bit in my journal at home, so I think at least that's something. Tonight or tomorrow is another chance to get started. I'll just push myself harder.
Thanks for understanding. I, too, get motivation from coming to this site.
No. I always love reading your posts. Sometimes I wonder where you find the time to do it and how you know what to say at the right moment. I always feel that I'm the queen of saying (typing) the wrong things at the wrong moment. Keep it up, Goofy. We'd all miss you if you slowed down...
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It's so easy to let it go by the wayside.... 
