Hi All,
I slept later this morning, as I am feeling somewhat numb from yesterday's fiasco. I still have that feeling that I could cry at the drop of a hat, but as of right now, I'm ok.
Duckie, I too have some anxiety, but I just have to cope with it as best I can because I have had bad reactions with medications used to treat this. It's good to know though, that you can understand how I feel, but not good that you have the anxiety. Am I making any sense here? I'm still sorta spacey. I DO however take a prescription med to help me sleep, as I have chronic insomnia. I know how bad my sleep got the other times when I tried to quit, so this med is a godsend.
Yes, my husband is VERY supportive, but I just didn't want him to walk through that door and find me in the emotional mess that I was in. I tend to always make life harder for him with each attempt I've made, although it isn't my intentions. I guess my moodiness gets in the way and I don't want that to happen again.
This is day 4, regardless of what my mileage shows. I need to fix that if I can. It will be my 4th complete smoke free day at around midnight tonight, but I guess it's going to show 3 days until then. Forgive my cloudy mind here. I'm rambling and probably make NO sense whatsoever.
When I start feeling antsy and anxious, I start pacing and fretting over things. That's usually when I would grab a cigarette, so now I just pace a little more and a little longer. I find it hard to sit still. I feel as if I have fought through something that has left my mind and body exhausted, but for now, it's resting, and I'm uneasy because I don't want it (the beast) to wake up. I just don't want to have to fight it again right now. The fight I had with it yesterday was tough and I was dangerously close to being on the losing end. I guess it's like a boxing match and that was round one. I got knocked down pretty hard,and it seemed to come out of nowhere, but I was able to pick myself back up with your incouragement. Thank You. I sure hope this fight gets easier soon so I can finally claim victory over this hard fought out battle.
Kiwi, sorry about your laptop. I'd miss mine too if something ever happened to it.
Thank you Lady for your help. But "Let's do it again"? Awww Maaannn! Do I have to????
