Gabs, This is a terrible thing that has happened to you. I thought I'd seen and heard everything in passive-aggressivity but this manipulation by your spouse has left me dumbfounded. I could understand if he had been diagnosed with a Minor or Major depression but to return home saying that he is not depresssed but made uncomfortable and anxious by your MDD is unworthy of a mature man. I said it once and I say it again - a spouse is for support and love in sickness and in health; I suggest to you that he needs to get his head straight about his responsibilities in the marriage. All Ican think of right now is that you find a way to get both of you to a couples counselling therapist so that there is no shilly-shallying on what he feels he wants to report back to you about his "mental disarrangement" being caused by you. You have a perfect right to be MDD or Fibro Myalgic or a victim of some other dread disease and that is no excuse for a spouse to become mildy anxious for himself and blame his mental distress on your having put him in 'harm's way'! That's ridiculously close to saying that because a spouse has TB that s/he should remove himself/herself from your vicinity because the fear of catching the disease makes him/her medically unable to do his loving duty to defend you and protect you... what is that BS? Does that mean that men or women can now hide behind spurious medical mumbo-jumbo when they are uninterested in being a spouse in the proper sense of the word? By his own admission he has NOT been diagnosed with depression - so what is that all about? I think your kids are caught between a rock and a hard place and are totally confused now... I would insist in an assertive way that you both must go for couples counselling... Keep talking to us...

Hi guys, Today has been a terrible day. I woke up agitated and in a bad mood, i couldnt figure out why, then my husband came back from his 1st visit to see a physc and therapist. He told me that he told them that he was depressed because of my depression and he couldn't handle me. He took the depression test and came out not depressed so they have suggested a course on assertion. Well, i can tell you that i have experienced every emotion possible today. I just flipped, assertion, they must be kidding, this is the most forceful person i know. Everything in 29 years has had to be to his approval. I cried, was amazed, but after calming myself and doing several thought records, the feeling i am experiencing most is anger. I am so angry that he is even blaming me for feeling down. I am angry that he wont/cant support me just once in this marriage. I am angry that i feel i have wasted so many years with this most selfish man. I am angry that he can make me so angry. I am angry with myself for not being strong enough to leave. I have never felt emotion like this and i dont know how to deal with it. Maybe I need anger management control, but I dont do angry. Its just not me. I feel like i am a boiling kettle that cant switch off. I hate myself. I feel like a terrible person for feeling this way about anything let alone about a person whom i have loved for so long. Is it my illness or do I really feel like this? I am so confused. I thought I was doing o.k. The medication seems to have controlled the endless tears of a few weeks ago and I have had a couple of enjoyable outings. I have an incredible urge to 'punch his lights out' and i am not a violent person. Where has this explosion come from? These intense feelings have really frightened me. I have taken an extra diazapam but it hasnt calmed me. He has told my adult children that the dr said he is ill because of me. They have agreed that it must be a terrible strain to live with me just now as I am not the home maker that they are all used to. Are they sideing with him or is it paranoia now that i am feeling? I cant even ask them as they are saying what they think I want to hear rather than the truth which is so frustrating. I need reality, clarity and truth to function just now. Otherwise I imagine every thought is warped due to this illness. Sorry guys, no one else to talk to and I really needed to get this off my chest. Any suggestions, gratefully received.