K13, In my experience what you felt as a total low before only minimally matters. What you feel today is what your looking at. It's good to know that your not at your lowest point. That can give you inspiration in getting through what your experiencing now! Don't even think about the "suck it up" feeling if you can. that is basically a negative thought. "oh this is nothing like before so it shouldn't bother me" I'm no therapist by any means but when I get that feeling I convince myself that it may not be as bad but I still need to get to where I want to be, happy,motivated or for me just at peace! It's still going to take time,work and support! Just remember we're all here to talk to and give you support. That's what counts! Take care, FIXIT