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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you everyone,

Everyone has been very helpful. I started the predisone last night and I am hoping it works, it has too, I want too work with it and believe in it. I gave up candy for lent carmie, and hoping for the remainder I can give up worry that would be wonderful.

The worst thing about being a hypochondria is that when you get really truely get sick nobody believes you, this time I am really sick and the fact its been almost a month would be scary for anyone I imagine. The pain has gotten worse in my ear and is traveling up the side of my head now, I can not swallow, talk or yawn without great pain, the Doctor thinks its "refered" pain from the throat and I think he is right, my husband said if I am no better by tommorow he is taking me too the emergency room, I cannot find a ENT doctor that will see me for weeks! and this pain is unbearble, I am just hoping the medicine kicks in, its only my second day and they said 3-4, never did I think it would get this bad but I am trying to remain positive, its hard with the pain but I am doing what the Doctor said and I am really trying not too entertain "cancer" thoughts in my brain, its no good too take the most scarieist worst thing it can be and run with it, and I know thats what I have done.

I have sought medical help for this twice and saw my nurse yesterday so I am trying to be proactive, and get better, Easter my favorite holiday is right around the corner and I pray I will be up and running and healthy! I will try to be more positive, thank you, Deb.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Debora

First off this is only how I see it.

I notice you are getting a lot of good advice you are not using. I'm pretty sure I know why and haven't said anything before because you won't want to hear it.

A lot of people get misdiagnosed with Hypochondria. Because it is an easy label to stick on people. A lot of people fear getting sick or think they are. That is no more than fearing spiders or flying. Yes it is an anxiety disorder but I think this may not be what you have.

To try a different approach...

Could it be that you need to care for a situation that is no longer there?

Now is where it is going to get confusing.

I notice from your posts that you may not not accept that it is no longer there and keep going on like it is. EG: "I have to get better because I am needed."

Like "empty nest syndrome" it is hard to accept not being needed or special anymore.

The thing is that you are still special and you are still needed. Only it is by you yourself and you can't see it or more likely subconsciously won't see it. Could it be that you are still trying to hold onto the past?

You may still feel this need and if you are sick you have an excuse to not fulfill it so that it is still there waiting to be taken care of when you get better. Which you can not do because you would have to live with the truth of the matter which is that it is time to move on and do something different. Pretty scary hey, thinking of change?

But look around you, others here are doing it. I had to. You can do it.

You mention you have dogs. I think you should transfer the care you used to shower on your family onto your dogs. They will love it and it will give you purpose in life again. A little neglect may get your family to sit up and notice you too. Let them take care of their selves for a while, I'm sure they can. Spend some time on you and let them come to you. Create a new situation and let the old one fade into the past where it belongs.

In other words become like the rest of us, struggling with anxiety every day and slowly winning against it becoming new people. Positive people. People that are wanted and needed starting with " by ourselves".

By the way, even hypochondriacs get sick, the trick is to know when it is real.

Davit, still sitting by the CBT road waiting for you to walk it with me.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Love it Carmie! You give such warm, helpful advice.

You are right, "I failed today" is very negative. Debora hasn't failed ever, she is just fighting with her anxiety. Yet, each day she is still trying to get through it. That's not failure in my books. So let's make this more positive.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Debora:

I look forward to your next post. I am sure that everything went well with the prednisone, I know it can be very scary to take things that you haven't before. One thing that was suggested at the luncheon I attended was to adopt a more carefree attitude towards change. It's REALLY difficult for me but it's something I will be working on. Something that I often hear and that has only recently begun to resonate with me is that change is necessary. It's especially necessary for people like us who would like to have some positive changes in our lives. I realize that in order to allow the positive changes to happen, I have to be more comfortable with doing things that are new and different.

Speaking of new and different - we should probably start a new discussion that is more positive - maybe instead of "I failed today", we can come up with something that embraces this beautiful Friday.

One final thought - I know that you pray often and perhaps you celebrate Lent. For me, it is a time of preparation and Easter is a time for wonderful new life and new changes and new opportunties. So, my Lenten journey is nearly ending and I am looking very much forward to Easter and Spring and all things new and wonderful!

Blessings to you, Debora!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie,

I just got back from my nurse, she was as helpful as she could be, she said "until you are diagnosed you do NOT have cancer" and I do understand that, only my fear I expressed to her was I have not been to a ears nose and throat doctor so no diagnosis has been given. I just took SIX predisone tablets at once, that is what the pharmisist said too do, I am hoping I do NOT have a reaction, I was scared to death too take them Carmie but scared not too, the inflammation and pain are so bad I cannot do nothing, my nurse said they do NOT interact with klonopin which is good, my Aunt said I can always call 911 if something bad happened but I am trying SO hard not to think that way, anotherwards "work" with the medicine, please pray it works because if not there is really nothing else the doctor can do for me, Red and Davit were positive about it so that helped me too.

I am sorry I get so scared sometimes, I want to control that because that is half the battle. I hope you enjoyed your run, and you never ever write too long posts Carmie, I so like when you write me the longer the better. I will write back later and let you know if the predisone is helping and I am tolerating it, I am going to have some soup, I have not eaten all day and the bottle says to take with food or snack, and I took it with just water so I am going too try some soup, I am scared of the predisone but right now I have no other choice, I have to hope and pray and believe it will help and cure this horrible virus or whatever it is. Thank you Carmie.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Debora,

I apologize - my response was long-winded and I erased some of the bits where I went on and on, including this part.

I never took the prednizone. My doctor prescribed it because there was a blizzard coming and he wanted me to have it just in case. But after doing some meditation exercises, my throat swelling and the lump in my throat went away. For me, it turned out to be my bodies reaction to panic. I carried the prednizone with me just in case for several weeks - but the tightening in my throat turned out to be something that I could control. I learned this after visiting the nurse at work about a month later.

For some unknown reason, I've been dizzy and experiencing a lump in my throat off and on for the last few days. If it helps to know, I listen to a meditation that requires me to sit and breathe and to take a mental inventory of every part of my body and how it's feeling. I take notice of the parts that are very tense and the parts that are not. Then I focus on the tense areas and of breathing deeply and thinking positive healing relaxing thoughts in the hopes that the very tense areas of my body will become more relaxed with each breath. I do this for about 15 minutes. Usually that helps a whole lot. If you have a spare 15 minutes, it's something to consider. I'm very sorry for the confusion - my note was so long and I didn't want to overwhelm you.

I like everyone else's posts best - very brief and supportive and helpful.

I'm off for a run - thinking of you and wishing for a successful nurse visit!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Ashley,

You are right ruminating on the symptoms does not help, I guess I am just so frustrated and scared I pour everything out too much, I have gone to the Doctor twice in three weeks which for me is a record normally I do not go because I fear doctors, even my husband said he knows I am very sick too do this, I will think positive about the predisone and work with it to get me well, finding a ears nose and throat wont be too hard but it may be weeks before the appt, that is who I really think I need too see, thank you Ashley.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you so much everyone all you're responses brought tears to my eyes, but happy tears that you all care so very much. I am trying to hang on here and think positive and get well, its been a month of sickness through and it gets so very draining.

I am going to my nurse this evening, she gives me my klonopin, and my husband is going to pick up my predisone, it was so late last night to get it, I want to start it in a way because of the swelling and pain, but the side effects do scare me, but the pain is so much right now and the wheezing I know I have too, something has to help me get better and I hope its the predisone.

I did not know you took predisone Carmie for your strep throat that calmed a little and Red and Davit have taken it, yes I am scared too take it but more scared of this swelling and wheezing, I fear I will stop breathing, I know a common fear among panic sufferers, when the doctor said last night "there is really nothing else I can do for you" that kind of floored me, its the predisone or nothing, I have to call for a ENT appt, thank you Red for describing the procedures that helped knowing it probably would not be the same day, if the predisone gives me a reaction or I get worse I know I can go to ER but I do not want to do this, the pain actually got worse after I saw the doctor last night, I know its in the throat, but when I swallow or yawn or talk it travels to the ear, and of course NOT knowing what it is scares me, I still have that "cancer" thought in the back of my head I know and that makes things worse. I will try the predisone and pray that it works, did it help you Carmie, the nurse said too take all six the first day at one time?! for the side effects, but I dont know if I should do that or not.

Thank you all so much for all youre support, I will try too move forward, hope its not anything terminal and get well and go on with my life, that is my hope and prayer and all you people on this site have helped me so much, I am so grateful to you.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Debora,

I am sorry to hear you have been having such a challenging time. It sounds like you are very scared right now. You do not deserve to feel this way. As you can see everyone here cares about you greatly and wants you to get well. I have noticed from your last fews posts you talk a lot about your symptoms and your worries. How is this serving you? How is this making you feel better? If it is great but I have a hunch this ruminating is quite damaging to your well being. What can you do instead of discussing your symptoms on the forums?

You are a very smart woman Debora. It is no coincidence that people with anxiety often have high IQs; it is because you have to be pretty smart to come up with all these scenarios of what could happen, what might be, etc. But now it is time to use your intelligence to serve you and not to hinder you further. How can you do that?

If you had a friend in the exact same situation as you what would you tell them to do? If your son had this same problem what would you tell him?

Please think about these questions and try to answer and I don't know is not an answer. I know right now you feel you want compassion but what you really need is to be challenged.

You can fight this anxiety Debora. I know you can. We are right here with you.

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi D: Still praying for you every day. I read where you had to sit under a tree on your way to the clinic and had to go back home. Years ago, something like that happened to me on a summer's day. I was more than halfway to the clinic, so continued instead of going home. Yea, it was very difficult to do and because I was so anxious, I could hardly breathe. I felt wrecked for two days or more afterward. I'm writing to let you know, that it will get better. I made it and I'm still here after 15 yrs. when this happened. Don't be afraid of prednisone, remember that they list every possible side effect because they have to, doesn't mean you will get them. If it was that unsafe, they'd pull it off the market wouldn't they?

Can you find one beautiful/happy thing today and write just that. Today I looked at my new cupboard doors and thought, "Hey, we did a good job on those". Made me feel good.

Thinking of you,

Sunny

Hi Carmie: I always enjoy your posts, very compassionate and upbeat. Bless you.

When I get anxious it is the tightness around the throat too. I feel exactly what you said, like a scarf around the neck. I get the dizzies and chest pains too and if I had those "fear goggles" it would be a heart attack. I know better now and take those needed time outs. Luckily I don't get it much anymore, but when I do it reminds me that I gotta go back to basics. I start the relaxation tapes and visualizations, make sure I'm getting enough sleep.

Today it is lovely and sunny out. My daughter says she is getting 26 C. degree weather! Can you imagine! We still have loads of snow but it is gorgeous out. Last night I heard the coyotes yipping away again. Still sounds eerie to me, but how wonderful and exciting. My dogs' ears prick up and I wish she could see them. lol

Sunny

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