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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Site seems a little faster

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What are negative core beliefs?

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-07-17 7:35 PM

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Creating a stress plan

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Quote of the day


13 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I sincerely believe in the domino effect.  Smile at the world, a good start to the day.  And before you go to sleep, remember all the good things, give thanks.
 
Sunny
13 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Quote of the Day:
Our attitudes control our lives. Attitudes are a secret power working twenty-four hours a day, for good or bad. It is of paramount importance that we know how to harness and control this great force.
- Tom Bland

I start my day with meditation/prayer and the hope that i can contructively influence the world in my small way for the remainder of the day.  Attempting to connect with a higher power is my beginning.
13 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Quote of the Day:
Failure is a detour, not a dead-end street.
- Zig Ziglar

Great analogy for those of us who don't have a Gps but are persistent enough to focus on reaching the goal,  irregardless of obstacles.
13 years ago 0 1853 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Sunny,

After reading about difficulties between you & your brother, I am very happy to know that things are much better today.  Your approach in writing him a letter sounds like it was very effective and empowering!
I hope that he can better respect how you feel and that it rid of any lingering tension.
 
Way to go for handling it the way you did, it's often too easy to hold grudges and prolong conflicts.

Vincenza, Health Educator
13 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks -m:  An update.  He telephoned first before coming over and apologized over the phone and I accepted his apology.  When he came he hugged me and told me he loved me and I told him I loved him too, no matter what.  There was a bit of a strain, but it was to be expected.  You could tell we were both on our best behaviour. Before he left I gave him a letter which I had written the night before and told him to read it when he was alone.  In this letter I explained my feelings and thoughts.  I did this for two reasons.  First, because he's the type who interrupts and I can't finish what I want to say and then feel so frustrated that I haven't been heard.  Secondly, because I thought if he had it on paper, he could read it a couple of times and hopefully "get it".  Nothing nasty in the letter, it is respectful, just explains things the way I experienced it and the way I see it.  I feel o.k. though have some regret that it had to happen in the first place.  I'm glad we had the chance to hug each other and say we love one another.
 
Sunny
13 years ago 0 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sunny... I do hope your visit with your brother goes well today.  By "well" I mean that however it plays out... you will be left celebrating your own power.  What a great concept!
13 years ago 0 376 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Beautifully expressed Hugs.... thank you for sharing your thoughts.
13 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Quote of the Day:
Put yourself in a state of mind where you say to yourself, "Here is an opportunity for me to celebrate like never before, my own power, my own ability to get myself to do whatever is necessary."
- Anthony Robbins


 
Here is a man who is a finder, rather than "searcher".  I just read about how we have too much, and the importance of this distinction.  There is a pressure when we search versus discovering, and Mr. Robbins has the key.
 
The difference is he effortlessly shows the power of discovery of our untapped potential, and can walk through our lives, as though he is unwrapping gifts which we would otherwise see as obstacles.  It reminds me of a tomato plant in our back yard, which keeps sprouting cherry tomatoes, like a christmas tree.  It's so "generous".
 
I see Mr. Robbins telling me that I am in charge, and to look at life as a series of opportunities instead of obstacles.
 
Imagine putting yourself in his state of mind every morning or every evening before going to bed!
13 years ago 0 4027 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sunny,
I don't wish to promote "name-calling" on a forum that has provided a  retreat from the difficulty of an insensitive world, but there are limits to our description of situations and characters.
 
A day ago, I was lured into a conversation with a former work colleague, which set off memories of the toxic relationships with nightmares an unusually negative mood, further undermined with a conversation with a unsupportive sibling.   Sunny, I think we both aren't doing as well  as we could, but are making the best of it.
 
 
13 years ago 0 1665 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Hugs:  I'm the youngest and used to look up to him, but of course as I got older could judge for myself what a jerk he is.  None of his family wants to talk to him, and neither do my children care for him.  I have smoothed things over in the past and asked people to give him a second chance many times.  He's an insensitive jerk.  I have to admit it.  I have to see it for what it is.  I know we can't change other people, only ourselves.  That's what I've been trying to do and stand up for myself.  Some things I can let pass, other things are just too outrageous to be ignored.  He's supposed to come over today.  I will try and be adult and hopefully he will be too.  We could have an adult-adult exchange.
 
In the past I wouldn't have slept a wink fretting about the argument.  Last night, I slept very well.  Though I still have thoughts coming every now and then about it, I'm not obsessing.  I have progressed! :-)
 
Thanks for caring and answering,
Sunny 

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