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Freaking out

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Ducky,

See the topic "the panic cycle" which Wien started today.

To paraphrase, behaviours that you feed will grow.

It could be spring fever too, and all that sunlight coming at once, at least where I'm at. Our problem is how to harness it contructively.

Canadian Guy is cleaning a room every two days...no wonder I feel wired!

I've been monitoring my usage, and have tapered to find what I think will help me. A forum is supposed complement, not replace real life so we can "Eat, Pray, Love"(haven't seen yet - love the title " And how come nobody uses humour on this site? On St Patrick's Day eve....Let's lighten up...

A passer-by watched two Irishmen in a park. One was digging holes and the other was immediately filling them in again. 'Tell me, 'said the passer-by, 'What on earth are you doing?' 'Well, 'said the digger, 'Usually there are three of us. I dig, Fergal plants the tree and Sean fills in the hole. Today Fergal is away unwell, but that doesn't mean Sean and I have to take the day off, does it?' ...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 66

Thanks Hugs, that helps.

I just had a thought this afternoon. A big part of my anxiety has this OCD component, in which the anxiety brings about a hypervigilant / hyperaware state in which I'm reacting (overreacting because overaware) to all my thoughts and subtle changes in the physical sensations in my body. Okay just writing this is freaking me out.... I think this forum is great for me, but I think I'm going to put a cap of allowing myself to comment once ever day or two. Because it seems like being on here for me is just feeding my obsession with my anxiety. Can anyone relate to this? The more you focus on something... the more it grows?? If I'm on here alot during the day, then I'm not out living life and doing things.

ducky

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Ducky,

See the "Coping with setbacks" forum from March 13 to see how Summer felt the same as you - as though she were "starting over". Summer cried through her fear of driving. Now she fears her next attack, like she's starting over..aren't we all starting over? Let me know what you think about Summer's courage...

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 66

Thanks Davit,

I'm feeling really hopeless today. I've been dealing with this for the past 6 years and feel like I'm back at step one. The idea of just looking after myself is freaking me out today. I live in my parents ground floor sweet currently and have for the past 2 years. I pretty much go to work but my mom cooks for me and does laundry as well. My brother thinks I need to start doing these things for myself again as subconsciously it will give my confidence. Right now my mind/head feels numb, and I feel like I'm at the bottom of the mountain. The idea of working everyday, working out, taking my vitamins, cooking/cleaning... is so overwhelming. I feel like I can't do it, and I think what's the point because nothing changes with my anxiety/depression...

ducky

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

justducky

I understand. This is why I am not a heavy equipment mechanic even though I am very good at it. It is why I'm using a computer, not building them. Just because you are really good at something doesn't make it right for you. I have a diploma in electronics that is so far behind it is worth nothing other than the experience. I'm quite happy with what I did with my life even though it is not all I could have been. "he who dies with the most toys is still dead".

I was being a bit pushy because I want you to make the right decision, no matter what it is. I know that overcrowded feeling in your head is very uncomfortable. I know too, people that left home and tried some other things before settling down to what they are doing. They found something they are good at and makes them happy. That really is the important thing. So just do what feels right to you, not what you think others want. I know I said don't you dare give up, but that was just me wanting you to have an opportunity to do what I never did. If you have decided then go with it. What ever you decide.

Keeping your job and moving out on your own might be a good start. I noticed you said "first" tells me you haven't given up but that you just are not ready yet.

Maybe doing this program is enough load for you right now. It is a bit of work.

Your friend,

Here for you,

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 66

Hey Davit,

My mind got the best of me tonight. I went to a yoga class and just started crying. I felt that I couldn't take it anymore, and I just don't want to struggle anymore. I had thoughts that really scared me, but of course I would never take them seriously.

I wish for one minute someone else could come inside my mind, so that they could understand how I think. I decided that maybe moving to a different city, leaving my job, and starting school is maybe too big of a change for me. I'm thinking maybe I need to move out on my own first and look after myself on my own. It may be too much all at once.

I want to go through one day without struggling with my mind.

ducky

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

justducky

A lot of people do this and it is a fear of making a mistake and not accomplishing as much as you could. It is that core belief that mimics "he who dies with the most toys wins". Used to be called keeping up with the Jones's. We are not allowed to make mistakes or waste our life. So we have to get it right in the first place and usually what happens is the pressure causes us to do nothing. The other side of the coin is burn out from taking on too much. The happy medium starts with being happy with what you are doing, have done, and are going to do. You can do it, it sounds like so I think you should do it, but that is not what I meant by the two options. you need some one that will ask the right questions to find out if you are capable and if you should and if you want to. And then you have to stick with the decision you make. No "what ifs" after. The other option is medication or meditation if it works for you so you can ask yourself the questions and get real and honest answers. Then you can set it aside and get on with the next anxious problem in your life. My two cents says you should do it, you already are dealing with anxiety and to be honest I think you should do what ever is necessary to do it if you decide it is what you want. Including meds because if it becomes a lost opportunity you will probably use it to keep the anxiety going. Easy for me to say hey, I'm not in your shoes and I'm for the most part cured. So just some things to think on which I hope don't add to the load too bad.

And for the curious, I do play the "wish I'd done that" game in my head even though I tell people not to. Just part of the ongoing battle. But I know I do it so it is okay.

Here for you,

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 66

Davit,

Thanks for your advice. You are much appreciated by me!

That is what is confusing me.... one minute I want to do it and then the next I'm questioning whether I want to or not. But that is my problem in life alot... its how my anxiety came out 5-6 years ago. When I think about whether I WANT to do this or not... I come up blank. I can think of some good reasons to do it, but then I question how i feel about those reasons. I don't know why I do this too myself. Do I pick the better of the two seemingly bad options, as I'll have anxiety either way. I just want to feel happy and positive about this because I should be proud of this accomplishment.

- ducky

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Ducky.

I see two options here, based on past experience. Either you need someone close that will listen so you can get all these thoughts out in the open and you can sort them out with their help to keep you on the right track, or you need a mild tranquillizer to slow down the thoughts so you can get them in the right order. I've done both. Right now I would say you are suffering information overload with a lot of the information not even relevant and probably a lot of what ifs thrown in to cloud the issue. The issue as I see it is, is it what you want to do, not is it something you can do. You are obviously smart enough to do it, so that one is ruled out. Whittle it down to the bare bones and deal with the what ifs after the main decision is made. That being what do you really want to do. And why are you making that decision. The rest are just add on's that are getting in the way. You need some one to keep you from wandering down that path away from the main issue. Good luck. Myself, I think you should do it, what is the worst that can happen. You fail, I doubt it. And if you do it will tell you something, it will be experience.

Here for you,

Davit.

Any one notice I can be a nag. :-)

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 66

Hi Tania, I do see a psychiatrist and just started seeing a counsellor for CBT. I've really had a surge in my anxiety since finding out I got into grad school last Friday. My thoughts are so illogical right now, that I am questioning what is reality. I'm questioning whether this masters is worthwile. I have to get out of my mind right now, but its really hard!

help!

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Freaking out