Hi Debi,
I’m afraid of my own shadow. I find I’m okay when I connect with people who support me. Maybe it’s since they replace the negativity we’ve learned...But I never really thought about that randomness of attacks or any pattern for me...my whole adult life has been trying to get better. Let's not let the stigma of our condition make us feel guiltier than, say a diebetic, or a person with Crohn's disease, etc...
What’s good to know, is our friends(i don't have any right now(: ) are just a phonecall or mouseclick away, as is this forum.
I guess I felt better seeing another forum talk about “survival” and I “just had to” change my motivation video and personal picture - check it out!