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14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Had another good day today. Very little anxiety or wandering thoughts. I have an appointment with an ears, nose and throat doctor tomorrow for a nasal polyp. Darn things has been bothering me for months.

One good thing about it is that I get out of work early.

David

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Wrestler: Happy for you that you had a good day. Don't forget to reward yourself. Posting does help, doesn't it? It gets us to focus on the issue which is bothering us the most. Like journalling does. I watched LOST last night too.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Anerol: Yes, I believe in a higher being. People have many different names for it and I doubt if we can ever understand the whole picture. Something much bigger out there than we mere mortals, some kind of creation, power, order.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

I had a really good day today. Even better than how I felt last week. I really did not have any serious anxiety or panic moments the entire day. A little OCD, but nothing serious. I know I can chalk it up to all the exercise I did last night, the therapy of writing on here and receiving such helpful feeback from all of you. I always have had success when I address my problems directly.

To answer your questions: The feeling I have of detachment or dissociation is a feeling almost like I am not even here. Almost like a dream state. I know I am experiencing everything, but it's almost like I feel detached from my body and self in an unreality. It's odd and hard to describe, but I am sure there's a medical term for it.

I did more cardio exercise tonight, but am skipping the weights. LOST starts in 13 minutes.

David

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

I loved that movie, A Beautiful Mind. We all have beautiful minds... we have extra senses that work well that we tend to feel/think more things than what the average people do.. or we just admit it more than the average people. I used to get depersonalization when my panic was at it's worst.. during eating. I couldn't feel the food in my mouth and this freaked me out. I always felt like I wasn't the one in control during episodes of driving too, that is why I can't do it because I'm not confident to say that I can take the responsibility of the moving car... I feel like I'm not the one in control. Do all of you believe in a higher being? I want to believe, but I still can't 100%. I've heard that if we can give up all of our controls to someone else (ex. higher being) then we can be less nervous. We are all just very responsible... this is not a bad thing, unless, it drives you around.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

sunny.

I have had a floaty feeling when driving like I am not there. Maybe a foot above the seat and observing me driving. Very strange indeed. I mean I can still drive. I have also had delayed reaction where you feel every bump or sway but only a bit after they happen. Neither situation being dangerous but they could certainly cause panic which could be dangerous. Isn't it amazing how we all have some pretty strange things in common but still focus only on the major where these minor things could be contributing factors. I think my final step may be to tear all these strange things apart and see what caused them. It could be nothing or it could be important information. I won't know till I do it, if I can do it even. I was once lost in a city in a heavy fog and didn't panic. Not sure how it would affect me now. Starting to ramble here.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi David: I remember a few yrs. back I was driving somewhere and suddenly, I didn't know where I was going, didn't recognize the road. Luckily it was a quiet road trafficwise. I was concentrating very hard to figure it out and told myself, don't worry, it'll come to you, and it did. That was a weird experience. I've only had that a couple of times. Another time was when I was highway driving and felt "floaty" - don't know how to describe that, out of body I think - anyway, I concentrated on the car ahead of me and again the feeling passed. I do remember I was very stressed those two days. Is it something like that?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 195

Thanks, both of you.

I am not there yet but I feel I am really making progress. If I can just go about another week without having a major panic issue, I think I will become less frightened and be able to get out of this funk. It's only when I have one after the other that the cycle is hard to break.

I worked my butt of in my gym tonight. Twenty Eight minutes of cardio and then it was my day for chest workout. I was going to skip the chest workout, but my wife decided to do cardio after me so she inspired me to do the weights. I was whipped after the cardio. Then we had dinner and finished watching Alice in Wonderland.

Do you guys know what I mean when I say depersonalization or dissociation? I know it can mean different things for different people. Combine the two and you have confusion. Confusion of self, what's around you and the two together create a confidence problem. Mix OCD in with it and that's what so hard about trying NOT to think about it. If I can just focus on normal things and not focus on what is not real (reasons for panic, etc) then I am fine. It's kind of like the movie A Beautiful Mind. My wife helps me sometimes by reminding me that the character in the movie was seeing and talking to people who weren't there. She tells me the same thing about my reasons for anxiety. I always worry about things that most people probably don't even think about. It's kind of like if I do not have anything to worry about, I always fine something.

I've delt with this on and off throughout my life and I always think it's never going to go away and then it just goes. Isn't that weird, but also good? First time I had it really bad was when I was 16. Life was simpler then and I just figured it'd go away. It actually stuck with me for about 8 months, with a few moments of clarity in between. Throughout every episode I haver with it, Exercise has always been a key in feeling better.

OK, I know I have rambled a bit, but it really helps to write.

David

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi David,

I agree with Davit, that your post was good. It's a nice list of progress. Your turtles sounds very cute and helpful with the pests.

Best wishes.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

David.

This is a very good post. You sound not only normal but also accepting. More a statement of fact than a list of worries. Very positive. With your therapists help and your determination you should do very well. And then there is us. The group. Group therapy is a proven fact. Just talking about it helps. I find it is really nice to be able to come here and talk about when a day didn't go quite as planned. There seem to be fewer of those days so I may have to talk about how good I feel instead. Of only mild interest but funny anyway is this. I haven't seen my therapist in a while mostly because I am busy. She came out to check on me so I put her to work. Why not? I can talk and work at the same time. Being mildly crippled I never pass up the chance for free labour. She has noticed the improvement.

Davit

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