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11 years and counting

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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Please forgive your mind/body for the anxiety


a year ago +1 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 1

Hi Red,

Thank you for the update. That is amazing you are not progressing despite not getting treatment. Wow! I'm very happy to read that you feel so well. Managing stress, positive mindset and healthy eating really can make a world of a difference in our health. Great work, that is so positive to read. You have worked so hard to get where are today mentally. It's amazing to read updates.

Keep taking good care of yourself!

Ashley

a year ago (Edited a year ago) 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

? Hello Ashley

Just a quick update to let you know that I am still here. Reading, Quilting, crocheting and growing flowers and organic zucchini squash this year.

i decided to go with my Gut feelings and stopped all medical treatments radiation and chemo drugs 15 months ago.

I still do infusions for my IBD autoimmune disorder every 4 weeks which is not cancer related.

The most important thing that I have done for myself is, I eat healthy non gmo organic. I rest, relax, do things that I enjoy and keep the stress down and of course I practice all the lessons I learned from the CBT program here and of course, I have a lot of faith and decided to Let go and let God lead me in my decisions and have remained beside the still waters where I belong for now,

The doctors say that they cannot explain the why or how and it is quite unusual, but they see no progression of the stage 4 lung cancer, that I am stable for now. My brain Mets are stable with some necrosis but no progression. We do repeat scans every 4 or 6 months and that's it. I may stop doing the scans for now too.

So, my answer to them was I have a lot of faith, so I guess someone up their is watching out for me, so I guess I am now a Miracle baby my partner says or a Miracle Mom as my sons calls me for now.

Talk to you again soon,

Take Care.

Red

2 years ago +1 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 1

Hi Red!

It's so great to hear from you! I'm glad you have been enjoying yourself and resting. Quilting sounds like a very relaxing and creative hobby. I would love to see pics of your work if you ever feel like sharing.

Sending healing vibes your way. ❤

Take care,

Ashley

2 years ago 0 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Ashley -> Health Educator @ Oct 27, 2020, 12:41:36 PM
Hi Red,
What a beautiful dream. Thank you for sharing that with us.
Also, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us in general. I know it helps others and for me, it has been rewarding to read about your journey over the years. I remember how happy I was reading about your successes, like your trips to the desert and many other success. You have achieved so much over the years and it has been a privilege to witness it.
How are you doing lately?
Ashley


Just a little note to let you all know, I am still here and listening to my inner self and have been going with my gut feelings about cancer treatments over the last 2 years now.

I went against medical advice and stopped all chemo iv treatments on Dec. 8, 2020, it was My Choice. Then I tried a chemo target medication in pill form for 1 month, which I stopped in August of last year. My choice not theirs. I did have 3 more Brain radiation treatments after that on 3 more lesions and have now decided that I may not do any more SRS brain radiation treatments.

My upcoming Brain MRI is next week and then a chest CT in August. I will make a decision after the results come in.

But I want to express my feelings here as they relate to this thread post. That once I realized what was causing all my pain and anxiety, I decided to listen to myself and trust my own intuition and did not blame myself for the anxiety.

So, I have been letting my body and mind rest for now and have just started to enjoy myself again. I do a lot of resting, reading and have starting quilting again.

I have faith that it will all work out in the end, and I will be here until it is time to go. but until then I plan on enjoying my life to the fullest.

3 years ago +3 5 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 4

Dear Red,

I wish you the best, & may God Bless You.

4 years ago +3 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 10

Hi Red,

What a beautiful dream. Thank you for sharing that with us.

Also, thank you for sharing your thoughts with us in general. I know it helps others and for me, it has been rewarding to read about your journey over the years. I remember how happy I was reading about your successes, like your trips to the desert and many other success. You have achieved so much over the years and it has been a privilege to witness it.

How are you doing lately?

Ashley

4 years ago (Edited 4 years ago) +2 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 6

Good Morning,, Trevor.

Thank you for your Kind and Compassionate words this morning. It's good to hear that I made a difference in this world while I was here. All I really did was share my life experiences with others.. I am a humanitarian at heart so it was easy for me to do. Plus I received so much from doing so. Thank you for ecourageing me to share my thoughts and final journey with the educators and the members of the various forums on this web site. I am sure this will help me on my journey and if it helps others it will fill my heart with happiness knowing that I have fulfilled my purpose on this Earth.

I so appreciate everyones support and thoughts, which are also helping me on this journey. Just being able to share my thoughts and knowing someone is listening is making a world of difference for me.

Talk to you again soon

Red ?

4 years ago +2 48 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 5

Hi Red,

I'm so sorry, and I'm saddened, to hear this news.You have selflessly helped so many people in these communities, and thousands of people have benefited from your wise advice and counsel.

As you know, arming yourself with as much education as possible is important. We are always here for you and please continue to post as often as you like.

Rest assured that all of us are thinking of you and are sending you positive thoughts. Please keep us updated as you are in our thoughts.

Trevor


4 years ago (Edited 4 years ago) +1 2508 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 5

Hello Ashley,

Thanks for listening and for the feedback.

For now I am just trying to relax and let my body and mind heal between treatments. I may call pallative care next week and schedule a video visit with them and see if they can help me go through this transition without the Chemo. I did the brain radiation because the cancer is in the cerebellum part of my brain. So I may do more Brain Radiation so that I can function, but the Chemo meds I am on do not break the blood brain barrier so the hope is that they will slow down the spread of my lung cancer to other parts of my body and therefore put off the pain related to that spread. There really are no easy answers, because cancer treatments in stage 4 patients is only pallative and not curative.

So I am just going to take it one day at a time for now and see what happens but my main goal is to have a pain free and peaceful transition to the lush green meadow I visited in a dream years ago while traveling and camping in a truck camper in Carlsbad New Mexico on my way to see the Carlsbad Caverns there.

I was a young child in that dream in a beautiful green meadow. Frolicking along a creek and hovering just above the ground. There was no sickness, saddness, or fear there. Just beauty and peace. And no disturbing memories of this world we live in now. It was a new beginning where I would never grow old, sick or ever experience all the saddness and evil that we do in this world. What brought me out of the dream and back to this world was the sound of my own laughing and giggling. I could feel all the peace and beauty within my heart, body and soul while I was there and tried to fall back to sleep so I could return.

I would call this experience a spiritual and out of body experience that I had. I have thought about it often and have longed to be there again.

Red?

4 years ago +2 11226 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 6

Hi Red,

I am so sorry to hear about this. Thank you for sharing this with us. You are in a very difficult spot, no wonder you are unsure of how you want to move forward. The doctors should be making all your options clear to you and they should not be pressuring you into treatment if they are not certain it is for the best outcome. I think anyone would understand that quality of life can be more important then enduring treatment in terminal cases. With health issues, we often have to be our own advocate. Voice all your questions and your fears to your doctors, if they are not supportive then it might be best for you to get a second opinion. I am sorry you are going through this. All your thoughts and feelings are totally valid.

Aside from seeing your doctors how will you be taking care of yourself now?

I will be thinking of you and sending you positive energies Red. We are always here to read from you. Please post as much as you like.

Ashley


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