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7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 286

Welcome Tammy,

It sounds like you have decided to steer clear of alcohol and that you have managed this for about a week now. Well done and a great first step! It probably feels good to open up about all those negative feelings. There is lots of support to be found on this site as you check through the toolbox and conversations on here. Have you decided on a goal yet? We have all had our struggles and we do understand the remorse and despair that can follow. You are not alone in this. There is hope and know that life can become so much better without alcohol. Keep posting so that we know how you are doing.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

Hi Ashley: thanks for listening and responding to my cry for help.

In regards to your question: well for one thing I have always had a rather (or so I thought) strong faith in God. My family raised me with unquestionable spiritual beliefs that I have never abandoned through the years. The only oddity, I felt, is that I should become an adult alcoholic while still having the beliefs I do in God.

Today I am close to mainly my mother who could love me in anything short of being an axe murderer. I find it hard to open up to others as I have never been married or have children of my own. I am in awe that others find me a very wonderful person even though I have done so many self destructive things to myself. But today, I have the dim realization I must change and reach out to others if there is a hope I will get well.

Getting honest is really hard when you are not convinced you can even be honest with yourself. In my case, it is all the more shaming I cannot be honest with my God before Him with all these stains on me.

I am trying something new-

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11223

Welcome Tammy,

I can read you have been dealing with a lot of emotions around your alcohol use. How have you been coping with the feelings? What has been helping you?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

In Bills story in the book Alcoholics Anonymous, he writes:

No words can tell of the loneliness and despair I found in that bitter morass of self-pity. Quicksand stretched around me in all directions. I had met my match. I had been overwhelmed. Alcohol was my master.

But then his childhood friend brings him the solution and he resurrects from this state and goes on to establish AA. You are in the right place.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2

Hello to everyone! My name is Tammy and I have been sober five days. There are a good amount of reasons why I chose to become sober and I will elaborate further on those as time goes on. For right now I am focused on getting my head together and dealing with the symptoms of withdrawal. I started out on my own but I know full well I will get not much further in continuing sobriety without the help of others. Today I have a mix of feelings: fear, being overwhelmed, shame at the destruction I have done to myself and others, remorse and astonishment regarding the total mess I've made of my life, etc. and so forth. Inwardly I know I will say nothing that surprises any other alcoholic and probably has felt at one time themselves. I am grateful today to be able to find resources such as these forums to develop new friendships and form strategies in the name of finally taking care of myself. Thanks to all for listening!!!

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