EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Managing Drinking
Dealing with Urges
still sorry

Advanced Search Form

still sorry

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Nodrama and Cryptkeeper,

Thank you for illustrating how to work through a conflict in a healthy manner! While going through any life change (especially when fighting an addiction) emotions can run high. It is very common for conflict to arise when normally conflict would not arise. Also, online, where we are anonymous, it can be easy to lash out and act in ways we normally would not. The fact that you both were respectful and considerate of each other when trying to resolve the argument was very nice to see. Nice work both of you!

As a side note, when replying to members it is best to take the approach of it is better to give then to receive. Try to reply without expectations on the individual you reply to. This is a safe practice for online forum use and when supporting others in general. It can be hurtful when our efforts are not acknowledged but keep in mind that we have no idea what the other individual is going through physically or mentally to prevent them from replying.

All the best to both of you!

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Sounds like a plan ND.

Didn't know you came so close to death or had a brush or brushes with death?

You're absolutely right when you write how thankful I am (you are) to be alive today, and given the opportunity to fulfill the purpose God has for each one of us. I too often fill my pillow with tears when I think back to that head-on collision suicide attempt and photos of the car. At times, I am overwhelmed with remorse with the pain I must have surely caused my loved ones. The physical, mental and spiritual pain I experienced and still do now is probably nothing compared to what they had to endure, seeing me in the emergency and trauma department with a twelve inch gash to my forehead and scalp which required 12 staples to close, a torn aorta which needed immediate surgery to repair, a pulmonary embolism, six cracked ribs, a cracked vertebrae in my lower neck, scorched wrists down to the raw flesh from the release and chafing of the air bags, numerous other gashes on my legs which needed stitching, and mesenteric injuries to my abdominal wall and intestinal areas. I must have looked like **** to them; I know that's how I thought I looked like and felt like. But, over the past 6 months I have moved forward by the grace of God and have made enormous strides.

Life is way too short ND, and I don't want to spend the rest of my life battling and arguing with people. It just takes too much energy out of me and for what? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Let's let LOVE, COMPASSION and MERCY drive our comments here in this forum. Like you, I simply want to help people who are down and out, like I was and you were.

It's amazing how great and awesome FORGIVENESS is. It releases both the offended and the offender, so that they both can move on, like you suggest, in a positive direction.

God bless,

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hello Cryptkeeper,

Of course I agree. Thank you for you kind and honest, from the heart reply. I look at my own brushes with death as very unsettling as well. In fact the thought that I almost took myself away from my family breaks my heart....now I wake up and am almost moved to tears being thankful I'm here to see these amazing loved ones of mine. I imagine that feeling is part of the reason you are sensitive. We know that life is so fragile in that we can dissolve it ourselves, and being trapped in the endless cycle of distress and alcohol will drive us to far down places. When you become free of that feeling of death and want to live, then time is very precious. Be well and let's move forward and be friendly and positive to each other and anyone else we come across. Sound like a plan?

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Good evening ND,

I am admittedly over sensitive since my suicide attempt. It has been a God-send on the one hand, but on the other I still have many issues from a mental standpoint. This is one of them.

You are absolutely right about my unrealistic expected timeline for you to reply. For that i do sincerely apologize from my heart. You certainly don't need more **** to put up with.

My writing that I was "wasting my time and energy" was simply me having one of my less frequent "pity parties"...nothing more.

Trust me when I say I am not a "drama person". I already stated that having been on the brink of death, I have no time for lying, BS or writing with twisted or wrong motives...what would be the point, what would I gain?

I agree fully on keeping positive vibes and thoughts. In fact, coincidentally, last night my wife, eldest son and I were discussing what negative energy can do and will do to you personally and to the environment in which you live.

If you agree, I'd like to put this whole thing behind us and start anew, with a positive outlook and positive reinforcement and encouragement.

Do you agree?

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Hello David,

Thank you for opening up and giving your words of encouragement. I do sincerely appreciate it. I didn't mean to offend you by not responding. I have simply been thinking about your words and truly didn't feel I had the appropriate response formed in my head as of yet (plus I've been working like crazy all day today and my time to think has been sporadic).

I do believe in God and have no doubt that your relationship is strong with him. I myself come for a very religious background but, have a different relationship with God now than I did growing up. I can imagine that 2 attempted Suicides would shake the very being of a person to their core. And the fact that you are still here with us is amazing. I get it, as I too went through a period where I was below rock bottom.

I am not going to debate you or argue. It's too bad that you feel I have been rude. I didn't realize however, that I was on a timeline for my response. I will say, that I think your telling me that your post to me was a "waste of your time and energy", ect was pretty rude in itself. I don't see anyone else on this site calling out others for slow a response.

I am a very positive person. While I haven't written a book, I think I'm pretty insightful and on the spot without being rude or condescending. I have made some friends and been helped by those friends-- while I think I have also helped other's on this forum. Which is what it's all about. Sharing and being shared with---which I believe is your point. I get it and will work on my response time.

By the way, you'll find that when you get confrontational on here, Ashley takes your posts down. Also, then others are afraid to post on here when confronted because, no one comes here for drama. We are capable of making that on our own.

Again, I am sorry if I irritated you and I say lets move on from here. Know that there are often days when I don't get on here at all. So, if I don't respond it's not personal or dismissive, it's my bad time management or that I haven't processed the response in my brain yet. I want to always come across as supportive and thoughtful as I'm sure you do as well.

Peace---I only wish you the best.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

ND,

Just to clarify. I don't believe in RELIGION; it's man-made and full of rules, rituals and other useless practices.

I believe in RELATIONSHIP.

Thought I'd let you know in case you perceived me as being a "religious fanatic" when I mention "Our Heavenly Father" in my first paragraph below, and later on that HE has a purpose for you and I on this earth. It is my RELATIONSHIP with Him that counts for everything.

If you do not believe in God or have doubts about whether He exists, that's cool...I respect everyone's opinions and beliefs.

My RELATIONSHIP with our Heavenly Father is as real as the nose on my face, and is stronger and better than it ever was after my suicide attempt.

You've written several other posts since I shared my encouragement and support for you below, by opening my heart and soul wide open to you, but you haven't so much as written "thank you" (2 words) in response to my post. Sounds like I'm being overly sensitive, which I am most certainly not. I'm simply referring to something called "common courtesy."

Not that I need acknowledgement or your acceptance; I do just fine without having more than one real friend and our Heavenly Father.

I just feel it a tad rude on your part not to even so much as say "thank you".

I do not know why I bother to write in this forum...and open my heart wide open to people.

Waste of my time and energy.

You are certainly not the first nor will you be the last who has not had the common courtesy to at the very least acknowledge when someone reaches out in all sincerity and truth to provide encouragement and support to a person in need.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 154

Hi ND,

I myself tried twice to commit suicide, once by overdosing on pills, and then when I hit rock bottom seven months ago by driving a vehicle, purposely without my seat belt attached, at 60 miles an hour into a solid brick wall. Based on my life-threatening physical injuries, I should have died and not be penning these words. But by the grace and compassion of our Heavenly Father I did not die, because He has a purpose for me, as He does for you and every other human being on this earth.

I just wrote a book which is now undergoing the production process with my publisher, and will be available in final print in 5-6 months. I must readily give all credit and gratitude to our Heavenly Father, because not in one million years, would I have been able to write this 200-page book, on a part-time basis, in less than 2 months. It is a miracle! Like I said, He has a purpose for me and He has one for you too ND.

Please remember and meditate upon what I have just written, regardless of what you may have done in the past or do in the future, which you feel bad about. We are all in this together; there are no exceptions. And we ALL make mistakes, no one is excluded. And we ALL deserve to be FORGIVEN, and be ready to FORGIVE. It is powerful ND! I am living proof.

A person who has come to the brink of death (i.e. me) has no time or desire for fairy tales, BS, trying to please others simply to gain fair-weather friends or to appease the fleshly minds we have. What I write, I write from the deepest recesses of my heart and soul.

Take care ND...hope I have been able to help you, even if it is only a little.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

I am still sorry. But I've learned to forgive myself. I'm not perfect and I never will be. None of us are. So I think we struggle then we prevail then we struggle again. Forgiving yourself. Not casting stones in the mirror. That's been a learning moment for me. I had a friend overdose recently on painkillers and booze. Home alone. No one to call. Makes me so sad. Makes me scared because no one ever would have know she had a problem except her daughter. No one knew. Everyone thought she was this amazing, sweet and funny, thoughtful woman. I want to be there for anyone who needs it. No walls. Just acceptance and support.

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 421

Thanks everyone! I'm feeling pretty proud that I didn't let that my moment define me or destroy what I've worked so hard to achieve. I try not to dwell on those days. It's just so self defeating and going backwards doesn't change or help dissolve the past. I read on here sometimes and I think--- omg I did that or I was like that. So from those moments I look at my moments of life now and say how did I not die in a bottle. The answer is I tried. But what I decided is we have to find that which we love more than our fast friend booze. Once you find your true self then you can become true to it. Love yourself, love your family we only gave a finite amount of time on this Earth, let's not make regrets! Forward looking all the way here. :-)

9 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Hi Nodrama,

My brow right now is furrowed - I hate that you feel disgusted with yourself as you don't deserve the harsh judgements you are putting on yourself. I don't know the whole story but from what I read, reaching out to someone you care about to mend things is admirable; even if you did it while intoxicated. I can understand why your daughter may have a difficult time understanding though - but know that not being "perfect" actually can help your daughter. I have read articles on this! She may have learned from some of your mistakes. She also saw you overcome them. I think that is a lot to be proud of. You have come a long way - don't you dare crawl away and disappear! You are much to special for that. I am so glad you came here to post. That alone shows how much work you have done on yourself. I honestly feel proud of you and not in the least disgusted by your past "drunk dial"

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

still sorry