Hey everyone,
I haven't been here in awhile because I blew it again. So I'm not going to go into that too much, but more into what I've learned.
My dad was diagnosed with emphyasma, diabetes, congestive heart failure, and ailing kidneys. He developed pneumonia, and has been in the hospital for two weeks. I sleep there at night and we pretend that we are on a camping trip just like we used to have when I was little. We play chess, I rub his back when he's in pain, I make sure the nurses respond when he has to go to the bathroom. I go to work in the morning and come back. I can't sleep at night because his breathing is so labored. I can't believe the sound of lungs so filled with mucus and the sound of coughing that will never be still.
My dad is the greatest person ever. He was the strongest person ever. Super tough, super sweet, and beloved by most everyone in our community. He made me promise that on the day he was released from the hospital, that I would never touch a cigarette again. I've kept that promise.
This time, I don't feel like moaning about how hard it is. I'm not complaining at all. I've been cigarette free for 4 days, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Everything's changed.
For the love of my dad, for the love of my son, and for the love of myself, this quit feels different. It just is. I have no complaints. There is nothing to complain about when you see the devistating effects in your life with someone you love.
Dad is still here, but now on oxygen.
Love your family, and love yourself-- quit.
Deb
