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Coping With Depression When Everyday Tasks Feel Overwhelming

robertowens12

2026-06-17 8:49 AM

Depression Community

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I Was Drowning in Depression for 2 Years - Then THIS One Decision Changed Everything

anthonydefranco

2026-06-17 2:50 AM

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addiction

Timbo637

2026-06-06 4:31 PM

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Haven?t told anyone I?m quitting

Timbo637

2026-05-23 3:25 PM

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Freemom
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Freemom
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19 years ago 0 848 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Boxer - I can top that Chantix story ... after about 4-5 days when I stopped feeling the nicotine I panicked and stopped taking the Chantix for a few days just so I could have that last chance to "get something" before I quit! Luckily I soon realized how stupid that was and got right back on it. By the way, I always had that "good girl" thing going on, too! As far as others smelling it - I'm not convinced. When I 'fessed up to a good friend and also my MIL neither one had any idea that I'd been smoking. I think as former closet smokers we are more sensitive to the smell of smoke AND the covering up of the smell. We lived it! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/29/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 32 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 395 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $130.56 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13

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jeanigirl
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jeanigirl
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19 years ago 0 220 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Oh Mercy i just cracked my sides, LAUGHING.... im right there with you, the situations we have put our self through, and i know about the dizzy feeling after dragging on that darn cigi' so hard, makeing up for lost time...My husband thought i had become a fitness fanatic these past few months i was always going for walks, morning afternoon evening, i even went on a night walk, pockets filled with cigi's, lighter, gum, cologne, more gum, gloves so my fingers wouldnt smell, who was i kidding, i was a nervouse wreck, i think all the closet smokers out there should share there experiences, i could do with a good laugh...... all the best jeanigirl [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/28/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 38 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $9.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 39 [B]Seconds:[/B] 40
Freemom
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Freemom
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19 years ago 0 848 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm so glad you started this thread Mercy! I think I'm the queen of the closet smokers. Nobody knew I smoked - not friends, family, my kids. Hubby kind of knew but we both pretended he didn't so as to avoid confrontation. Well, ok I guess the guys at the convenience store knew! LOL Why was I a closet smoker? Sort of like Anna's reason. I was really afraid of disappointing my family. I got the same reaction when my mom found cigs that I experimented a few times with in HS...I didn't REALLY smoke till college! I think in some way that pushed me into smoking - to rebel against overly high expectations. But I was (still am) really afraid to hear how upset and disappointed they'd be. I feel my self-esteem is still fragile and I don't want to demoralize myself by 'fessing up. And as for friends - well none of mine smoke, some are absolutely adamant against it and really it's just not politically correct to smoke around here, esp with kids. I was afraid that with a rep as a smoker nobody would let their kids come play with my kids. (Meanwhile I know a bunch smoke because I've smelled it - but NOBODY does it openly.) Believe it or not I wouldn't even smoke in my car! I'd park in back of a store lot and stand next to my car to smoke. Or I'd smoke in the garage or out in back. Rarely in the front, unless it was really really late - the neighbors might see me! So is it easier to quit as a closet smoker? Yes and no. True, it becomes less work NOT to smoke. But there is no live support system. Thank goodness for this site - without it I don't know if I'd be this successful. By the way, at the end as I was preparing to quit, I did come clean to hubby AND asserted my right to slip out for a cig when he was around. (Still kept it from the kids though.) I think that helped me get over some of the rebelling part. I love this thread - know I'll have more to add later! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/29/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 32 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 395 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $130.56 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 21

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boxerfan
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boxerfan
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19 years ago 0 911 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Mercy, I didn't really answer you question earlier. The reason I was in the closet was that as I was growing up, I was seen as a "good" girl, that shouldn't be involved in doing things like smoking. I started smoking in high school and hid it from my parents (I was hanging out with a group of kids that were not very driven and I thought they were cool and fun). ALL of those dropped out of school and then I started hanging out with kids that would never smoke. I continued to smoke and hide it from my family and most friends. That was just the beginning of hiding in the closet. Even though both of my parents smoked, they always encouraged me not to smoke. So, I just hid it from them. Kind of funny when you think about it that kids generally mimic the behaviors that they observe. You know that saying do as I say, not as I do. I was ashamed and even though I thought it was a nasty habit, I continued doing it. That just continued through my adult life. Another reason that I would rarely tell anyone was because if I did, they would just get a shocked look and say they didn't believe it and kind of carry on. This was very embarrasing to me, so I just hid it from most people. Little did I know, they most likely smelled it. Icould also blame the stink on my husband (he smoked), which when I think about it now makes me very sad. Things an addict will do! I think the quit has been easy in the way that a huge burden has been lifted. I don't have the feeling of being paranoid that someone will see me smoking. It was a lot of work to hide this nasty addiction. It has also been difficult because of the rituals that I had as being a closet smoker. I would also chain smoke when I finally had the opportunity to smoke. When I got home from work, I would smoke almost a pack from the late afternoon until the evening. So, when I finally quit, I'm sure I had a lot of nicotine in my system and the withdrawals were rather unpleasant. There are also other times that are more difficult. But it is getting better and every day. Just to share one last thought of irrational thinking from a closet smoker (sorry this is so long). In the last few days of taking Chantix before my quit date, I began to feel fewer good feelings from smoking. Crazy me,
mercy
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mercy
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19 years ago 0 1543 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Jeanigirl, FALLING OUT OF A WINDOW!!! lol lol Oh my... the things us closet smokers did. Here is a sick confession. I had dated this guy for years (before I had become a Christian). We went on a cruise together. Now he was a huge non smoking advocate. I always had to hide it from him. On the cruise I was dieing for a smoke. I had hid some in my suitcase. I made an excuse I had to go to our cabin for a minute and left him at this dinner. I got lost on the ship and frantically tried to find the darn cabin!! I was in a panic....and had my typical IBS going just thinking about how good that smoke would taste. I got the cigarette.... and never thought to pack matches. Now I have the cigarette hid in my purse and am again frantically trying to find some bar on the ship to get some matches. At this point I have been gone far too long. I found some matches ... and.... Next... was where to smoke the darn thing. As a closet smoker I couldn't even smoke infront of people I didn't know. I found a sneaky corner and........and.............and......because I had gone so long without a cigarette I almost passed out from getting dizzy. I'm running back down halls...banging off of them light headed...lost again trying to find my orginal destination where I started at the dinner. AS I am still dizzy I am thowing wads of gum in my mouth so my breath wouldn't smell...and squirting perfume all over me. Everytime I saw a bathroom I stoped in to wash my hands for the umpteenth time. LOL By the time I got back to my boyfriend I was so frazzled I was absolutely dying for a cigarette again. It is a wonder I didn't fall over board. I know... I know... I was crazy in love. Oh.... not with my boyfriend..but my cigarettes. LOL :p Mercy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/21/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 99 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,998 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $442.53 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 12 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36
Interesting
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Interesting
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19 years ago 0 420 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Love this question! Can't wait to read everyone's responses. I was like Windy. I was half in and half out of the closet. I smoked around my closest friends, but only at home (outside or in the garage), and only in my vehicle. Never in restaurants... someone might see me! I agree that the anxious feeling of withdrawal being gone is great! I also avoided going places because I wouldn't be able to feed the beast. I wouldn't ever have admitted that back in the old days when I was a smoker (hehe), but I will admit it now. I do think it's easier for us closet smokers to quit, because it was so much work for us to smoke. It's so nice not to have to deal with it. However, I will say that there are times that I miss the other side of that feeling which is: Aaahh... I'm home... have a cig. Now that I think about it though... I don't think that too often anymore! WOW... just realized it! Good for me! Thanks for the interesting discussion. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 120 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,813 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $231.6 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 14 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37
Anna
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Anna
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19 years ago 0 2417 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Mercy! I too am stepping out of the closet...only to you folks though!!! hehehehe My parents would have been so dissappointed in me. I was the only one in my entire family (way back to the Mayflower) that smoked. No lie. No matter what age I am I don't want to disrespect them. My mom caught me one time when I was 31 and I felt so ashamed! Now that I know how bad I stunk, I don't know who I thought I was kidding. This feels to good to be free from all of the hoops I had to jump through to cover my smell! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/8/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 112 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,693 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $470.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26
mercy
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mercy
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19 years ago 0 1543 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Danielle, To answer your question I would have to say it was harder to quit when I was a closet smoker. My sneaking time was a huge trigger. When someone would leave the house and I was alone I actually got IBS in excitment of being able to have a cigarette. If I wasn't going to be alone too long I could wolf down 3 or 4 cigarettes IN A ROW!!!! :8o: When I came out of the closet, I felt a freedom I hadn't known. I was now able to smoke in all those places I never could before. I use to envy people that could smoke freely. Now I could smoke in resturants (it was allowed then)....beaches..parties...company and the like. Still..... my real passion for smoking that I cherished was my alone time. Just me and my cigarette. Time to reflect..calm down...think...get excited about a project and ESCAPE. So....yes...I had to learn how to cope with triggers...but the real trigger was being alone. It was such a learned behavior. I still get IBS when I get out of work remembering my alone time when I got home from work. HOW STUPID IT ALL IS. It is now replaced with healthy walks... healthy teas...and bible devotionals. Mercy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/21/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 99 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,998 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $442.53 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 12 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 55 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35
jeanigirl
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jeanigirl
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19 years ago 0 220 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
A big Yes Danielle, because i can not go to my family for the support, and they were so so very supportive of me (1st Quit), and of course thats where the shame comes in. At least now i don't cringe when my son says im so proud of you, and im even more determined to succeed. I got into this situation and i have to bail myself out. always looking forward jeanigirl [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 4/28/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 37 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $9.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33
Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
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Danielle, Bilingual Health Educator
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19 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Members, Great experiences shared here. Do you find it more difficult to quit as you were closet smokers? Danielle ______________________ The SSC Support Team

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