Paranoid,
Good job on not giving into "friends" that are really giving you some peer presure. Isn't it amazing that even adults will resort to elementary behaviors when they want to feel better about a bad choice they are making. Your friends are trying to make themselves feel better. Smoking for them will NOT make you feel better. You get to be the bigger quitter and lead the way. Great job.
As for your health - I am 35 and always concerned about mine. But you have to let that go - stress can do just as much damage. Think about healthy ways you can live. Don't worry about coughing out junk for the first few days - go to the doctor and ask him/her to check you out. Run the tests and don't stress about it. When you are dwelling on "death", think about all the good things about life and what things you enjoy. Go for a walk, go to church, go and get a healthy snack, read a book, bike . . . whatever floats your boat. Usually when you are focused on the negitive, you can't see the light around you. If you think about it, some of your health is already restoring. Walking a block may be getting easier. :) See you are getting healthier.
My mother battled cancer for 6 years and 7 months - now SHE HAD something to worry about! You know, she never looked at the negitive or thought about her "last day". She looked up and looked for a treasure in each day to be revealed to her. She used to go on daily treasure hunts. (Some of these were while in bed after a tough dose of chemo too.) Everyday, she was able to find something.
I am glad you have this group. Focus on the good things. Maybe change your screen name to used to be paranoid and mentally picture yourself well.
As with all good advice - keep your doctor appointments, but let them tell you what is going on. They went to school a long time to become healers. :) They want to help and make you well.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/21/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 35
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 214
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $47.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16
-
Quit Meter
$74,711.33
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 6056
Hours: 9
Minutes: 39
Seconds: 44
Life Gained
-
Quit Meter
45779
Smoke Free Days
-
Quit Meter
183,116
Cigarettes Not Smoked