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An Ultimatum


18 years ago 0 92 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Some of you know my story. Some of you don't. I've been knee deep in my latest quit for 10 days now. I think this is attempt number 6. I can't fail this time. I really can't. It's either quit smoking or the girlfriend gives me the boot. She's given me way too many second chances already. I've lied about smoking and that is something that she didn't like at all. So I guess it's time to face the music and get this done. I find it refreshing to have some sort of insentive to quit. I know it might sound bad to hear "Quit smoking or ... ", but in all honesty, I think it might be the swift kick in the @$$ that I need to take it seriously. My quits have always been for her anyway, why not make it official. I know, I know. "You need to quit for yourself". Trust me, I've been through this. It didn't work. I don't want to quit. I've come to grips with that. But I think I'm going to marry this girl, so if I can't do something this big for her, then I don't deserve to call her my wife. I've cried.... yup, 26 year old 6'4" mans man, breaking down into tears over some cancer sticks. She's there for me, she doesn't quite understand but she knows it's hard, and tries her best. She doesn't smoke and never was a 'full time' smoker. But she can see how different I am without them and I'm sure she is really stressed. I guess I am ranting more than anything. It feels good to get things off my chest. You all are complete strangers to me. It's it funny that we can open up to complete strangers more than I can to my mother about smoking? I try to explain it to my girlfriend in spoken words, but it really is too damn hard to voice. You all have been or are going through what I am. It's easy to relate to people like that. Now for the bad part. I went to play basketball on Sunday night. It's a weekly thing (a smoker playing basketball... funny huh). I was really excited to do it. Turned out I got there and it was cancelled. I drove back to my girlfriends house. The only thing I could think about when I was driving there was, "I hope I catch her smoking". I was hoping that she would have had a cigaretee. Because it would make it ok for me to have one. I wanted her to smoke so I could. Obviously she didn't, and when I walked in and could tell
18 years ago 0 92 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I sure am glad no one thinks I can do this. Support center... yippie. Excuse me while I wipe this mud off my face. Good luck to everyone but me.
18 years ago 0 100 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi TheNeek, When i was in my 20s i promised myself i would stop smoking before i was 30. When i was in my 30s i promised myself i would stop smoking before i hit 40. Im 45 now and am on day 7 of my quit. How i wish i could have done way back then, i could have had 20 odd years of feeling a lot fitter than i have. What i am trying to say is do it now, keep it up or you will just spend the next 20, 30 or 40 years still trying. Do it for your girlfriend, do it for yourself and do it for any future children. 10 days is great, well done, keep it up. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/28/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 6 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 193 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �14.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 54 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52
18 years ago 0 1079 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Neek, Wow, You have had quite a day today. I am just reading this now and a few things strike me. One is just how helpful and honest the people on this site are. Another thing is how much quitting can SUCK! It can cause us to lose focus on who we are and how we see things. I know for me, I had to do this for myself to start with. My husband has never smoked, and yet he never really nagged me too much to quit. Now I also think that it is possible for a person to quit for other reasons and still have a solid quit. It may be for a partner or for a health reason. Whatever your reasons for quitting are, I think you have to be PREPARED, COMMITTED and DETERMINED. I wish you lots of strength to go with your commitment. Your 10 days are great!! [color=Red] redrosie[/color] [IMG]http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e58/saggysac/sign%20offs/NiceDay.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 64 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,550 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $531.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 2 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Neek, you will not find a more supportive group of people anywhere. We realize that you have quit. We want to see you STAY quit. Nicotine is a horrible addiction that kills. All of us have been exactly where you are. I don't know about the others, but I know about ME. I have tried to quit for others...I have tried to quit and failed... When I was on day 10 of my quit I didn't think for one second that I would follow it through. I grew into my quit so if you already have the determination to make it work then you are farther ahead than I was at your point of the quit. I believe what we are all trying to say is that Quitting is the hardest thing we have ever done. I know you can Quit. If I can quit, anyone can because cigarettes ruled every aspect of my life. You are absolutely correct about the reason to quit. When I first got here everyone said you have to this... you have to that... and I didn't have a lot of the things they were saying I needed. One thing I did have was the desire to keep going. Honestly, that is all you need. The desire to not light that next cigarette. Come here and vent, share, ask questions and get support. Just be aware that when you ask for support, we are going to give you our honest opinions. Remember, everyone's quit is different and we all have our own opinions. Take what you want and leave the rest. Regardless, we are here for you. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 248 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,970 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $868 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 40 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
[quote] Quitting is hard (period). [/quote]Yep Neek....Quitting sucks. Drink a lot of water, and take some really deep breathes. Those two things and a lot of peppermints got me throught the first few weeks. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 248 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,971 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $868 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 44 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello again Neek. I really would like to support you in your "attempt" to quit smoking. You are playing games with yourself and your girlfriend. Yes your quit has to be for you. You already know that. I want to take this opportunity to let you in on a few observations I've had during my quit journey. First. Relationships are based on love and trust. Both must be present in order for it to succeed (yes I realized this during my quit process and not before). "If you love me" games have no place in a relationship and Ultimatums are a last resort to something that is pretty much dead already. Second. You do not want to quit smoking. It is in every word of your ramble above. In order to be successful in a quit your desire to quit has to come from deep within and that desire must outweigh everthing else in your life, including your girlfriend. Third. Quitting has changed the person that I am. I am over 8 months into my quit and I am not the same person I was on day ten of the quit. This journey is a soul searching, life changing experience. If you change your mind and decide that you are ready for the most incredible journey of your life, you already have 10 days under your belt and are well on your way. Change your attitude and you will have it made. Best of luck. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 248 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,969 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $868 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 30
18 years ago 0 210 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Neek I also quit for someone my husband. I did not really want to quit when I first started this. But you know what I am loving this freedom, it took me a few weeks to figure it out and now this quit is for me and I'm loving every day of it. Hang in there you'll make it :) Cori [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/31/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 279 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,593 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1255.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 28 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 36
18 years ago 0 2830 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
TheNeek, I think you learned something today... if you ask us for our opinions, boy are you gonna get them!!! ;) And sometimes it may seem like we're ganging up on you, but that's certainly not our intent. I promise! And you're right, quitting is hard no matter what. That's why we're here. And yes, we ARE here to support you. Keep it up. I think you're going to succeed this time. I really do. Crave the Quit! Butterfly [IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c177/kissnflirt/butterfly3.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 129 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,239 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $425.7 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 12
18 years ago 0 2830 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I'm not saying that you CAN'T do this. You most certainly CAN!!!! But you have to WANT it. I'm just speaking from experience here. It's been MY experience that "I" couldn't quit until I wanted it more than I wanted to smoke. I've quit so many times, I can't keep track. If I had to guess, I'd bet that it was somewhere between 30-35 times... and I'm only 29! But I never really wanted to quit until now, so none of them ever stuck. So you want to know what I think you should do? Prove us wrong! Make me the one with egg on my face! I'd be more than happy to eat my words if you quit and stay quit... I would humbly appologize to you for not believing in you. Prove me wrong. I'd LOVE for you to do that. If that's what it takes to make the quit stick, then so be it. Crave the Quit! Butterfly [IMG]http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c177/kissnflirt/butterfly3.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 129 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,238 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $425.7 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53

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