I have been told I'm hard to understand. It is how my mind works I guess. Like an autistic I see in pictures and see the whole picture. I wonder if I leave things out because it is obvious to me.
Riders is new and I don't think it is even on the internet. My therapist understands it. I will ask her if it is on the net under a different name. Did you understand the difference between having a positive thought attached to a negative and having a negative attached to a positive. We do a lot of this just as a routine. Simple things like "I want something so I'll just have to go get it". This forcing yourself to do something used to be the accepted when we only had a few things to deal with. When traffic was slow and cars few. Now cars are many, the noise is high and there are multiple lanes. You have seconds to make a decision. With all we have to think about it is no wonder we get into accidents.
Cognitive restructuring takes the force out of doing anything. And with that it takes out the stress.
The things you do with ease are things you want to even if they are routines that fit "have to". Like that first cup of coffee or tea. You have to make it. (negative) But you are making it because you want to. Positive rider. Now if some one makes it for you, you have a positive. I could get used to this, positive rider. (happy thoughts, no anxiety) But we kill that thought by putting a negative rider on it. EG: "it probably won't happen again" Negative rider just destroyed all that happy. The thought now goes through the fear centre and causes anxiety. And that was just a mild rider on your safe area. A negative rider in an uncomfortable place finds an even stronger anxious reaction because it is a negative on a negative.
A positive rider on a negative bypasses Amygdala but returns to Amygdala as a fact, not an instruction. Repeated it becomes a familiarity and you lose fear. As long as you have a positive rider on the negative thought. A safe person gives you a positive to put a positive rider on and you are mostly okay because the negative thought is in the background. It is bearable. but all it takes is the negative thought " I don't want to be here" to neutralize what you got from the safe person. The negative rider takes the thought through the fear centre instead of bypassing it. Choice of words in a thought can increase or decrease the negativity.
Posting before I lose it.
Davit.
