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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

Timbo637

2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

Timbo637

2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

Timbo637

2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Dr Claire Weekes Method


9 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Davit,  Claire Weekes doesn't say she wants you to just cope she mentions in her books over and over she wants people free. I am just confused by what you're offering and what Dr. Weekes is offering. I often don't comprehend your writing style. Also, you said you never were agoraphobic so it's hard to give advice to a problem you haven't had.
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I've been hard on Claire Weekes only because I want you free. I don't want you stopping at coping. If a person wants to settle for meds or coping that is fine. I'll offer the finish half and they can do it or not. The object is to function as well as possible. The choice is yours. You can understand me wanting you to be as free as me though.

Davit
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
How do you now if what you are doing is working and not just the medication? Especially if others say it works.

On another site I was on people posted so they could get confirmation that they were lost causes and there was no cure so they could feel they were doing everything possible without having to feel bad if they didn't get better. If they followed something possible then even if it wasn't working they figured they were doing the right thing. They think it must be them not the process. And they get it from the people that answer. They are doing the same thing. Three pages of people saying I'm doing that too convinces you that the process is right but the problem is with you. So they get things like. I'm doing this, or I'm doing that but it is taking time. Six month later their post is still the same. It will have changed to "I had a relapse" Or excuses.  "there is a year wait to get CBT" Thy treat CBT like it is a pill. If someone says CBT didn't work then a bunch will jump in with it didn't work for me too. Almost any process will give you some release at first. It will do it again if you read it again. This is mental feel good placebo. Placebo is accepted as a coping skill. All these methods work to the extent they are supposed to. As coping skills.
So why is what I preach or this site any better. As far as coping goes it isn't. But it doesn't stop there. It uses coping to get you to cure. Cure is what you really want.
Anxiety is so debilitating it is easy to settle for any relief. But you don't have to.

Davit

9 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks.



So, why do some people still swear by Dr. Weekes and say it worked for them?
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Off the deep end exposure works for type A people because they are used to getting there way and are not going to let a little anxiety get in the way. There are two types of people by personality type an a flat scale Apples, type A are at one end and oranges are at the other. Most people fall somewhere in the middle. You have to if you are going to function in the world as it is nowadays. Some people are good at being apples in their job and oranges at home. Women more than men are required to do this if they want to work. Apple goes against their nurturing nature, yet is necessary in the competitive job field. For this reason more women suffer anxiety disorders. It is especially bad if their spouse is type A. There is no break from the stress. Type A people pass off their anxiety on others as a relief and this is called second hand anxiety.

Type A or Apple: Aggressive, monetary, money and status are the bottom line. Possessions including family and pets. Every thing in order and for show, not use. The perfect house and car. Often angry.

Orange: Compassionate and caring, artistic. Nurturing. Not a collector. Tools, car, house are to be used and shared but not abused. An orange would never walk on someone to get ahead.

These are the extremes, most people want to get ahead but want to do it comfortably. 

Riders are thoughts, negative thoughts are okay as long as they have a positive rider. If they have a positive rider they become a fact. Like your word alone. It is a fact, that you want.  And a fact you should be able to do since alone is a necessity sometimes and therefore normal. The fact it is normal is a positive rider making it a fact rather than an instruction. Right now it is a silent negative instruction. (I have to do this alone) Even though you know and I know you "want to" Amygdala's memory still registers it as some thing you have "had to" do. Drop the thought "alone" because it is negative right now. Once you do it then you can think, "I did it alone" and it becomes a positive fact on the actual action. If you do something alone you will be proud of the fact and it will enter memory in future as a positive. But if you think I have to do it alone to get better it stays negative and becomes a negative rider and interferes with the actual act. Positive Is. I'm alone and like being alone because I'm in control, no one is telling me how to do this but me. Make alone a good thing not a necessity. There are probably a few ways you can make alone a positive thing. Every negative has a positive flip side.

When you are successful reward yourself with "I won". It is assertive and good for the ego and self esteem without hurting anyone else. Then give yourself a reward you can hold in your hand. Careful you don't start doing things for the reward only. Remember what you are doing is normal. Every time you get to store something as a fact it dilutes Amygdala's memory. Soon you will have a whole new set of instructions for the negatives that happen in a day. These instructions cover all the negative not just specifics as in off the deep end exposure.

I did say this was work didn't I.

Davit.
9 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I have had people tell me deep end exposure worked for them but I believe they were not agoraphobic or only in the beginning stages or very risky and stupid to do so. I know if I did deep end exposure it would backfire so extremely badly. I'm aware I need my exposure therapy to be at my own pace, a bit uncomfortable but never anything deep end or close to deep end. Now, you say to get rid of riders, I think you meant to get rid of negative riders (please be more clear in your writing). 
I remain in the state of anxiety, not overwhelming anxiety but some anxiety (say some crying and stomach issues?) until that situation becomes calm and even boring to my brain and body. 
9 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Brilliant. So....

A. Have positive mantras and be careful with my words "I want to go out alone" "I want to go to the pharmacy alone" even as I write this my brain doesn't like the word "alone". I'm trying to get my brain used to the fact that alone can be a good thing. I used to have monophobia and I no longer do. Now,  I don't mind living alone for many months each year. So, have positive mantras.

B. Do exposure therapy but don't push it too hard. Do it at my own pace. 

C. Never run out of a place.
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The escape that is. You stay in a state of anxiety till it doesn't bother you. Say at a three to start, working your way up. Much as I love this site, I prefer my way.

Davit
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
The method here calls for staying in a tolerable amount of anxiety till you can let go of the rider. It is gentler than deep end exposure in that you don't force yourself to accept an unwanted exposure. It is in the middle between forced exposure and wanted exposure and it has replaced the deep end exposure because it to has an escape. You just don't use it unless you have to.

Davit
9 years ago 0 6252 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Megan

I have been in hospital many times and they were a lot worse than now. During that period I had become addicted to Ativan. The only way I could go to the store was with Ativan. (lorazapam) Even at that I had to choose my time and it didn't always work. I would grab a few items and get the hell out. Some times the tears flowed all the way home. At home I would be so mad at myself. Does this sound familiar.

One day I tried to force myself to town and got part way three times. Finally I took the Ativan and tried again.  Well it got me to the store but I couldn't get out of the car. I started to go home and said no, not again. What is the worst that can happen. (ten questions) I want to do this but don't have to. I can chicken out. I'll just go as far as I can. Classic exposure with one exception.  The exception was the positive rider "I want too" I wanted to be normal, I wanted to do what I used to be able to do. So I got through the door and got a cart to lean on. I said a mantra over and over as a distraction, not realizing at the time it was more. The plan was to get what I could and leave. Ha ha. What I wanted was at the far end of the store. Oh dear I can't do this. Add another positive rider as a mantra. "this is my decision, I'm in control." I kept repeating my mantras and got those two Items. Tea and toilet paper, pretty important hey. I then proceeded back to the checkout adding things. There was some tunnel vision but the mantra kept me going. At the checkout I used distractions to keep myself occupied. And made sure I left the store slowly. In the car I thought, keep going, what is the worst that can happen. I went to the pharmacy, hardware, library and restaurant for a hot chocolate.

On the way home it hit me what I had done. I started to shake. A negative rider was trying to force it's way in. I shot it down by going to the general store on the way home for a bag of chips.

Ativan works quick so next time I took it with me and just used the mantra. I probably used it a few more times but in no time I was just doing it because I wanted to. Now, I do what ever I want to because I want to. Even things I have to I treat like I want to and have no trouble. It took time to start feeling normal, but it did happen. But see there was always a way out. I wanted to. I didn't have too, I had an out. Exposure therapy only works if you have an out. So I prefer this gentler way even if it takes longer. And it is permanent. If a rider shows up I tell it to go away. And it does.

If you try this don't force yourself. if you can't find a positive reason to go the extra steps then stop and try later. Never say "I have to do this" that is negative. and you don't have to, you "want to". Want to is your positive rider. Go slow and tell us your achievements and failures. Talking is positive. Even a failed attempt is positive. A single step is positive.

Davit

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