Hello

Hi Lemonverbena and welcome to the Support Group. I hope you enjoyed your walk. I too live in the UK (Ipswich). The sun was shining here as well today but it is still very cold! I hope you will find the Group and program helpful. As you have already done some CBT it should be easier to get back into. I am a 46 year old man (just - birthday yesterday!) and have been doing the program for a couple of months albeit at a snail's pace! There have also been some technical glitches and I am currently waiting to hear back from the support people as I get error messages when I try to go on to a new Session. I hope you don't get these but there are often ways around it while you are waiting for a reply. I find the Support Group very helpful as well. We are all in the same boat, possibly badly holed as it were, but not I hope beyond repair! I hope you will post again and that you don't find our winter months too miserable! Best wishes MRB

Hey, I,m new too

Hi belky56 Just a quick message to welcome you to the Support Group. I am sure you will find it useful, and it can help you to open up in an "anonymous" sort of way. I used to suffer from OCD, but I don't really have it now apart from mild residual symptoms. I did have psychiatric treatment at the time so know what you mean about finding it hard to talk to the psychiatrist. I suffer from depression now but this is managed by my primary care doctor rather than a psyciatrist. At last I am on medication that seems right for me and more or less controls my depression. I do have my moments though! I hope you will post again to let us all know how you are getting on and whether we can suggest anything to help. I know from experience that OCD can be particularly horrible but it doesn't last forever. Best wishes MRB

Hello...

Hi Kali and welcome to the Support Group. I am sure you will find it and the program helpful. I was very interested in your comments about being "very nervous about getting better" and using "...depression as something of a badge or crutch...". I think in some ways I feel this about myself as well. There is nothing really wrong in having these feelings because if you are aware of them you can take them into account and work out what you gain and lose by being as you are, and what you might gain and might lose by "getting better". You would then be in a position to "negotiate" as it were between all these different competing concerns. If you "lost" something by giving up being depressed could you in fact get it back in a different way when you were "better"? I don't think I'm explaining this very well, but I think it's really important! To give an example, suppose someone is overweight because they "comfort eat". This of course can have adverse consequences on their health, but it satisfies their need for comfort. If they then go on a diet what happens to their need for comfort? If this is not addressed the diet is unlikely to work. What they need is a better way of getting comfort so that they no longer need to get it from overeating. It is strange isn't it? On the one hand it's undoubtedly a question of real human suffering, doctors, tablets, therapists etc, and on the other hand the strange form of comfort that there can sometimes be in such misery! I think it can be even harder for people who have been "ill" for many, many years and in a way have "accepted" that they will always be like this. The medical profession often doesn't offer any hope, merely a list as long as your arm of "disorders" the person is supposed to have, and an equally long list of medications to supposedly "treat" them. Sorry, I don't mean to create any more doom and gloom than we already feel, but there are no easy answers and certainly no one can answer for anyone else. It does seem however that you have the self awareness, and I hope that I and others have it as well, to really think about these things in an intensely practical way as far as your individual circumstances are concerned. I think I would certainly like to get better but working it all out and get

hello

Hi tolate and welcome to the Support Group. Most of us here have been struggling with depression for years as well, so you will find you are amongst people who understand. I was sorry to hear that you have lost your job, and wonder whether this was due to your depression? I myself have lost jobs due to my mental health, although other factors were involved as well and it was a very long time ago. I am not working at present. I also identify with your feeling of being alone. I have experienced periods of deep loneliness in my life, although I do now have some good friends so this is not too much of an issue for me. At least it proves that feeling alone doesn't have to last forever. I know none of us on this site are ever likely to meet, but it is still human contact and can reduce feelings of isolation. Are you doing the Depression Program as well? It should help you, along with any other help you may be receiving. I am on long term antidepressants and at last have found one that really helps me. In conclusion I hope that you will find that it is in fact NEVER "too late". Best wishes MRB

To All: Merry Christmas

Hi all Hope your Christmas and new year are as happy as they can be. I don't really like this time of year either, but as Lemon says it doesn't last forever. MRB :)

I can never achieve my goals

Hi Chris I was very interested in your posting and sorry to hear about your difficulties. In a way this is a problem that often arises with "goal setting" particularly when depressed - what happens if I fail to achieve that goal? I think we have all done something similar to what you have done and felt guilty and even more depressed than we did before - "after all I can't even do THAT properly!" You also mention about being tired, wanting to sleep all the time etc, and these of course are very common symtoms of depression, and are sometimes even caused by the medications used to treat it. Against that background, setting a goal of getting up at 7 am, although commendable, does seem to me, if you don't mind me saying so, somewhat unrealistic and not likely to be achieved. As setting that type of goal isn't working for you, and is indeed making you feel worse, why not simply abandon, for the time being at least, setting these goals? The real problem here seems to be your feeling tired and wanting to sleep all the time, and I wonder if you should address this problem first, before goal setting etc. I don't know if you are receiving any medical or psychological help, or are on any medications. If you are on medications for your depression it could be that you are on the wrong ones for you, and that they are making you sleepy or not having a sufficient antipressant effect. Some antidepressants can in fact have an energising effect, and I do think it might be a good idea to discuss these matters with a doctor. I also think that setting goals is sometimes seen as a "chore", extremely onerous. This really is not what we want. Forget THOSE sorts of goals totally and utterly! And really it doesn't have to lead on to feeling guilty, or a failure etc, because in a way you HAVE achieved something - you have discovered that something that you've tried doesn't work. That is valuable information. It means don't do that again at present - DO SOMETHING ELSE. Set yourself the "goal" of feeling better about yourself, feeling good. Forget all other goals as they are trivial in comparison, and as you have said don't work anyway. Ask yourself, "What do I need to do or what help do I need to get to achieve this?" THIS one goal ONLY. It will lead on to action

Hello Hello Hello

Hi moose Just a quick message to welcome you to the DC Support Group. It is very late where I live (early am UK) and I want to go to bed soon! Mornings are usually worst for depressed people, although I think it can sometimes be the other way round. Poor concentation and tiredness often occur in depression as well. It was good that you felt OK when you did get up as I know that some people feel lousy all the time. I hope you find the Support Group helpful and will also try the DC program. Let us know how you get on. Regards MRB :)

Rejection

Hi browneyed Welcome to the Support Group and hope you'll do the CBT program as well. I am pleased that receiving replies has made you feel less alone. We are all in the same position really, but in different kinds of ways. Your posting was very sad and it seemed written like a poem which I found rather creative. In a strange kind of way there can be great beauty in sadness, and speaking for myself really I find that "depression", pain, hurt and suffering, call it what you will, is something that I have clung onto sometimes while at the same time wanting to let it go! I don't know if you can relate to any of that but it seems to me that the price that we pay for the possibility of human friendship and love is that we have to become vulnerable and risk rejection and hurt. There isn't any other way, that's part of the "deal". Part of depression, I think, is a "shutting down" to avoid being hurt any more. But then of course the possibility of joy, hope, friendship and love is also cut off. Sorry to be so "philosophical" as I am trying to be really practical! DEPRESSION HURTS and I've found in my life that I have, hopefully, reached a point where I have decided "I DON'T WANT TO SUFFER ANY MORE!" It's making that decision that I found was really crucial. I think we do have choices, although of course a lot of things may be largely out of our control, or seem so. Even so there is always some "room to manoeuvre". Tomorrow doesn't have to be as bad or worse than today. It may be so, but also it may be better. Sometimes I think that we can just simply HOPE that things CAN change for the better even when we feel that it's highly unlikely. And I HOPE that my ramblings may be of some use. I wish you all the best for the life ahead of you, and hope you will post again to let us know how you are getting on. Melvin :)

new girl!

Hi Victoria Just a quick message to welcome you to the Support Group. I hope you will find it helpful, and will have a look at the DC program as well. I'm sure it must be confusing if you've only recently been diagnosed. To the left of the postings is an information panel "Education" which gives helpful information about depression. There is also a lot of information within the postings themselves. And of course you can always post in again yourself giving some more detail if you would like help on a particular point. As far as preliminary advice is concerned, I would have to be very general. Give yourself time to sort yourself and your feelings out. Depression doesn't normally last forever, and there is a lot of help available. If you have been put on antidepressants these can be very effective, but it often takes a week or two before they start to work. Side effects however usually kick in almost straight away! These often improve with time and some disappear altogether. Also with antidepressants, it is very much a matter of trial and error as to whether any particular one will help you. It will usually take a few weeks to know if a particular medication is going to suit you. But don't worry if it doesn't, as there are several dozen commonly used antidepressants so there is bound to be one that will help you. Try writing your thoghts and feelings down as this may help you to clarify them and give you some distance from them. I also think it's important to remember that "depression" is a label really. This label can be useful, as can the process of diagnosis etc, but what is really important is YOU, your thoughts and feelings about your life and how to live it. Oh dear - my quick message has turned out to be longer than I thought! I am sorry if I have given information you already know or have missed out something that would be really helpful for you. I hope you will post back to let us know how you are getting on. We are all in the same boat here. This is a friendly suppotive group but the forum can be slow moving at times. I think time zones may have something to do with this and peoples' dspression itself can sometimes make it difficult to post in. Best wishes MRB :)

My mother is ill and may have Alzheimers!

I haven't really posted before for help on my own account, but find that I have to now. My elderly mother, who also suffers from depression, has had memory problems for about a year. She also has a family history of Alzheimers. I had to take her to an outpatients appointment on Tuesday on account of the memory problem. It was of course at the back of my mind, as well as my brother's (who was on holiday and returns tomorrow) that she might have Alzheimers. To cut a long story short we won't know for a couple of months as she will have to have a brain scan. She also had some other tests while we were at the hospital. The doctors spoke to me while she was in another room waiting for a physical examination. The doctors explained that she could have early stage Alzheimers or some other dementia. Alternatively, they said her poor memory and concentration could be symptoms of depression. I suspect that they told my mother rather less than they told me, but I think she will be aware of the Alzheimers possibility. My brother doesn't know the full details of the appointment yet. Tomorrow, when he returns, is coincidentally the anniversary of my father's death, and Monday (20th) is my brother's birthday. Obviously I am more concerned about my mother's health than my depression, but understandably I'm not feeling too good at present. I have got to see my doctor next week anyway as my medication is running out. I shall tell him about my mother (she goes to a different practice) although I don't know what he will do about my own depression. I am on the largest dose of Efexor XL used in this country. I think there is a possibility that I might be referred to a psychiatrist as I think this was on the cards anyway. Eventually I will have to come to terms with what my mother has got, and I do not assume that it will be Alzheimers or something similar. I also know, as we all do, that getting older and getting ill are part of the human condition that we can't do anything about. My mother is 77, so if this turns out to be only a "health scare" sooner or later something else will crop up. Also, the doctor said that because of her family history, even if she didn't have Alzheimers now, she was more likely to get it as she got older. All this is very hard,