My mother is ill and may have Alzheimers!

Casey Many thanks for your posting which I found rather moving. I will post back to let you all know how my appointment with my doctor goes. This appt is likely to be early next week. I will also post back when my mother's condition has been diagnosed - this could take a couple of months or so because of waiting lists. I still believe that despite everything that life can throw at us, whether depressed or not, that life is still worth living even though at times the very reverse seems to be the case. Kind regards MRB :)

My mother is ill and may have Alzheimers!

Ms Puck and kelly (and again to Casey) Many thanks for your postings - they have really helped me. I am still hoping of course that the tests will prove negative, and my mother have no serious physical illness. The doctors did mention that her memory loss and poor concentration could be a symptom of her depression, rather than her having demenia. I did query with them as to whether the medications she is currently on could be the cause of her memory loss, but they seemed to discount this as the main cause. It is all a bit strange really as certain medications can cause memory loss etc, and even result in the person being thought of as having dementia. I have read a report about this today, and it apparently sometimes happens that someone is even treated with dementia medications when all along they were suffering from the side effects of the other medications! I am trying not to fool myself though, as really there is no way of knowing what the problem is until all the tests are complete. This as I mentioned is going to take a couple of months. As usual with such things it is the waiting that can be almost as bad as getting the result. Still there is no harm in hoping that the results will be negative whilst at the same time being prepared for the worst. As promised I will post back when I have any definite news about this, and will also post after I have been to my doctor on my own account next week. Once again many thanks, I really appreciate your help. MRB :)

My mother is ill and may have Alzheimers!

Hi all I am posting back as promised following seeing my doctor. I saw him on Monday, but haven't been able to post back before. I was in tears when I told him about my mother's problem. He is a very caring person, but also maintains a professional approach which I very much approve of. He gave me the name and telephone number of an organisation in my town that supports the families of people with Alzheimer's. I may contact them if my mother turns out to have this, or something similar. He also gave me some information about Alzheimer's, eg some people deteriorate rapidly and die quite quickly, whereas some others may live for some 10 to 15 years after diagnosis and perhaps die of some other illness altogether. I was more or less aware of some of the information he gave me, but appreciated the compassionate way he spoke to me about such things. He changed my medication, at my own request really, as I was on the highest dose of Efexor XL normally prescribed in the UK. I am now on Prozac (actually generic fluoxetine) 20 mg. He explained that I would probably feel down for a week or so until it kicks in, and he asked me to return in about 2 weeks. I have felt "up and down" since going to my doctor, but hope that I am over the worst as far as coming off Efexor and starting Prozac is concerned. I know some people have quite bad withdrawal effects when coming off Efexor, but fortunately I haven't experienced anything really bad. Coincidentally, my mother and myself have both recently received forms to fill out to do with housing costs etc. I have been helping her to find the information needed to put on her form. I have now filled out her form but haven't even started mine yet! This will be no problem though. My mother in some ways is no more disorganised than me, and it remains to be seen whether she is actually ill at all. It is waiting for tests, and then for the results that in many ways is the worst thing of all. I will post back again some time. By the way there was no mention of referring me to a psychiatrist, and I didn't raise the issue. At the moment I don't want to change too many things at the same time if I can help it. I am feeling rather tired now, but pleased as I have got the form done. My mother comes tomorrow to s

My mother is ill and may have Alzheimers!

Hi kelly and everyone else I just clicked the wrong button and lost my message so here goes again! Thanks for your posting. I really appreciate your interest in how I am doing. The forms my mother and I had are only now sent every few years, so we shouldn't have again for quite some time. They are to do with financial help with paying rent and council tax (a local tax for services such as schools, libraries, street cleaning etc) which is available for those on a low income. It is essentially a means tested, hence the forms, welfare payment. I apologise if I am insulting anyone's knowledge of such things, but I am not sure what is understood in other countries about this. Coincidentally I used to work in the department in my town that deals with these payments so I understand the forms a lot more than my mother and most others. This helps a lot with filling them out etc. I had a brilliant night out with my friend yesterday. We went to a real ale pub. It was packed, but we managed to get seats and there was a really good atmosphere. Real ale tends to be rather a male preserve here unfortunately, but there were a few nice girls there. This always makes me feel better unless I am really low to start with! We didn't drink to excess of course, and I am always particularly careful with alcohol when changing meds and at other times. I think the fluoxetine is starting to kick in now. I am now less tearful, more energetic, and am getting up earlier. I have had no really bad effects from withdrawing Efexor so don't expect any now. I'm cautiously optimistic that fluoxetine is going to help me and have now been on it 6 days. Efexor (one f only in the UK!) had been a brilliant med for me, but I had been on it for a couple of years and I think it was "wearing off" to some degree so that I needed increasingly higher doses. I hope that I won't need it again, but think it would work again for me if I needed it. I was pleased to read that you have several sibs so that you can share the tasks and emotional burden of looking after your mother. It was heartwarming to know that she still recognises you all and enjoys your visits. I am going to sign off now but will definitely post again as the weeks roll by. Best wishes to all. MRB :)

Effexor & Wellbutrin - How much is too much?

Hi Missing I think Melamie is defimitely right. It would be best to seek the advice of a doctor or pharmacist about medications. I wanted to respond to your poisting though as I think one or two things can be said safely, and hopefully usefully. You mentioned that you were previously seeing a psyhiatrist, but are now being prescribed these medications by your family doctor. I can't help wondering, from what you say, whether it might be better to see if you can find another psychiatrist. Even if you only saw them once or twice they would, I am sure, have greater specialist knowledge than your family doctor on your medication issues. In my country, the UK, family doctors manage the overwhelmeing majority of patients with depression, but they do refer a small percentage of people on to psychiatrists or psychologists etc. I would also say that in the UK most family doctors (we call them general practitioners) would not be too experienced in prescribing multiple antidepressants to an individual patient. They would tend to try one at a time, and if this didn't work would think about referring on. I don't, however, know what the position is where you live. "Cocktails" of medications don't seem too uncommon in those who post here, although they may of course have been initiated by a specialist and then continued by the family doctor. You also mentioned that initially the combo worked very well, but that for the last 6 months you have been "sliding downhill". Again, I feel that it would be impossible for anyone on this site to be able to say with any confidence what is happening here. If you don't mind me saying so, if you were doing very well for 2 months but then have been going downhill for the last 6 months, then I really do feel that you should ideally have been under the care of a doctor with specialist knowledge throughout the whole of that time. None of this is any of your fault, and these things can happen when doctors finish etc, but speaking strictly as a non-medical person, it would seem by far the "aafest" thing to do, if at all possible, would be to see a new psychiatrist, or related specialist, as soon as you can. In the meantime you could also speak to the pharmacy as well. They could give you some general information about these me

My mother is ill and may have Alzheimers!

Hi kelly - thanks for your posting. I delayed replying a bit so that it would be after I went to my doctor again. I am feeling quite a bit better now, and hope that you are feeling OK as well. My doctor was pleased with my response to fluoxetine, and has asked me to book a telephone call with him in about a month's time. If necessary he would increase the dose, but wants to see how I am getting on first as the med has only just started kicking in. I think the fluoxetine is suiting me, and hopefully it will reach maximum effectiveness at the current dose in the next week or so. I also went with my mother to her doctor's on the same day - in fact her appointment first then on to my doctor after a snack. Both our doctor's practices are close to each other, and very near to where I live. She has been started on some new medications and today has received a letter from the hospital to say that her scan will be this coming Thursday afternoon. I shall go with her and know what is involved as I have had one myself a few years ago (although of a different type and for a minor complaint). They also sent her a leaflet explaining the procedure as they did for my scan. I am pleased that things are moving fairly quickly as the waiting is unpleasant for all concerned. It is unlikely that we will get any results Thursday as these are normally sent to the doctor that ordered the test. My mother will have to go back to that doctor for the result (and for the result of other tests) and I expect to accompany her. I anticipate this will be at least a week or so after the scan. I will post back about this after that appointment. Kind regards and once again many thanks for your caring concern about me and the situation with my mother. MRB :)

Trying to cope with early retirement

Hi linda Juat a quick message to welcome you to the Support Group, and hope you will find it and the depression programme helpful. I myself am 46, and I think I may have mentioned this on one of my postings, but am not in general aware of the age of other posters. From the content of other posts I would think that most posters would be under 60 years old. I think quite a lot of people read the posts without actually posting themselves, so obviously couldn't even hazard a guess as to their ages. The age of posters is not an issue for me, and I hope that you don't find it problematic for yourself. I myself have not worked for a very long time because of my mental health and visual impairment. I am really pleased that things are a bit better for you now. The aches and pains you get, plus feeling awful first thing in the morning are very common in depression, but that doesn't of course make them any less unpleasnat. They often improve as depression itself eases - this is what happened to me, but it can take some time, and I think finding the right medication and dose can help greatly with this. I understand your longing to "...just go back to energetic A type personality..." I think we all at times with our current problems wish that we could "go back", but often this is not possible and may not even be as desirable as we think. Would it not perhaps be better to just go forward to a "happier, more contented type linda"? Best wishes MRB :)

Emotional & Verbal Abuse Fuels My Anger Back Into Depression

Wishingwell I am very sorry to read that you're having such a rough time at present. It is good, however, that you are receiving help from a doctor and a therapist. I hope that the change in medication will help you as well. I can't really say much about "disability" because I am from the UK, and I suspect that arrangements for such things are very different where you live. There can't be any harm however in you seeking more information about that option. Your health and happoiness are more important than jobs, but obviously there are still bills to be paid etc whether someone is at work or not. I am not a doctor but I suspect that the dizziness and lack of air etc that you felt when you were at your therapists were physical expressions of the strong emotions you were feeling at that time. They are certainly not signs of going crazy, unless it is considered crazy to experience emotional distress! It is also prefectly understandable that you current emotional state is making it difficult for you to post on this site or follow the program. You have nothing to apologise for that. If we were always able to do all these things then I don't think we would be depressed to stsrt with! I think that at present, and many of us have been in a similar position although the precise circumstances are always different, you should try to concentrate on what might help you in the short term rather than trying to deal with all the problems that are swirling around you. "Short term" here means "how can I get through this day?" or even this hour. Is there anything that I can do to help myself today? This of course might include contacting someone else for assistance. Another thing that I think might be helpful is to have a sense of HOPE! I know this is very contradictory because when we feel depressed part of that is that we often feel hopeless and helpless. I still think, however, that a part of us can konw that how we are feeling, is to some degree at leats, an excessive and exaggerated response and that eventually we will get back to a more helpful frame of mind. Thank you for sending us hugs. I send you one back as well. You mention the need most of us have to be "...connected somehow to someone that really cares about them." I agree with you, bu

Emotional & Verbal Abuse Fuels My Anger Back Into Depression

Wishingwell Just a quick note to thank you for posting back to let us know how things are going for you. From your postings you definitely seem more positive than you were. Thank you also for your interest in my circumstances and postings. I feel I need to clarify that my mother has not at present been diagnosed as suffering from Alzheimers or indeed any other illness. She has undergone a series of tests including the most recent one which was a CT scan. I am expecting her to be sent an appointment at the hospital to discuss the results, and I plan to go with her. I will post back under the relevant thread once this has taken place. I am going to sign off now as I am in fact getting ready to go to my mother's on this bank holiday Monday. Best wishes to you and everyone else on the Support Group. MRB :)

Emotional & Verbal Abuse Fuels My Anger Back Into Depression

Wishingwell Many thanks for your latest pssting. I shall definitely post back about my mother in due course. I was sorry to hear about your mother's memory problems. What makes this sort of thing difficult for all concerned is, of course, that people are usually all too well aware of the possibility of dementia, and that it can take some time to determine what the cause of the problem is. I don't know about your mother, but my mother does have a strong family history of dementia. This of course does not mean that she HAS got it herself. As I understand it there are many possible causes for memory loss, not the least of which are problems like depression itself. Also of course memory often deteriorates with age anyway. It's the uncertainly that's really diificult isn't it? And the "awfulizing" particularly for those of us struggling with depression! Sometimes I think making a decision to do something, or even not do something, can help in these circumstances. I certainly felt better when I started the process of having my mother's problem investigated. I have felt a whole range of emotions since I can tell you! I hope all this is of some use to you. Although we love our parents dearly, sooner or later thay are going to get ill and die (I lost my father over 20 years ago). It is very sad but in some strange sort of way I think it's for accepting as part of the human condition, and something we need to come to terms with. Looking at it from the point of view of us with depression, and I don't think it selfish to do this, I hope we can guard against allowing these circumstances to derail our own recovery from depression. One way I intend to do this is to do eveything within my power to help my mother - but with the emphasis very much on "within my power". Sorry - I must end now as this wasn't meant to become a sermon! Nevertheless it is offered in good faith. Kind regards to you and all. MRB :)