One of my coworkers disappeared from work a couple of weeks ago and this week we were told that he was going on a leave of absence for the forseeable future. Another coworker left a few months prior to this latest departure. I am beginning to think that maybe something at work is getting or has gotten a little toxic for me??? Why else would I have so many panic attacks here? But then again, I know that a "place" does not create panic in people, people do ie I do this to myself.
Truthfully I think I am a litte sick of my work. I am good at what I do but I have a new manager who absolutely thrives on stress and infects the whole office. I stay because I get paid very well...
I realize money isn't the best reason to stay but I do have a 7 year old to take care of and on some level I do like what I do. I see how it would be beneficial to be flexible in my attitude to work. I like the idea of shielding my self from my managers toxicity. How do I do that? I do "ignore" her as much as I can - I do this by emailing results of assignments and not engaging her too much. At some point though, at least once a week we have status meetings and I go armed with a big jug of really strong chamomile tea!
Those are funny visuals - I'll see if they work for me. It's funny how we see things - I never would have viewed my tea at meetings as a distraction.
I think I am finally getting what you were saying about replacing negative memories with positive ones - The negative memories are very stubborn though - They dont want to be buried.
You are an inspiration. You dont know me but you reach out and help whenever I ask for help. You give so much comfort - I hope you find some semblance of it where you are, every day. Thank you for your generosity.
It seems to me that I am the only one going through the hell of panic attacks and anxiety right now, that everyone else has been in my position at some point but has recovered so I am not always confident that anyone shares my fears or need for reassurance. I dont want to be a burden so sometimes I suck it up and come on here only when I am utterly bewildered.
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