I tire out easy so there are lots of rest periods to be here and have a cup of tea also. I got what I had to do done even though it was not all that I wanted to do, but then I always aim high and settle for what I get. It is raining so the garden will be too wet to drive a tractor on now so it is good that I did it today.
Don't be sorry, you too will be able to look back on them with no effect other than to think of them as a time in the past.
They are a time in the past for me now. Today my most important thing besides being here as often as I can is to get some work outside done before it rains, the past has nothing to do with either.
I'm afraid there is nothing you can do except what you are doing. Boy your post brought back memories of my bad days.
They are hard to bring up because there is no need to and they are well buried. The thing is that when I do see them now it is like they are someone else's, not mine. I know they were mine and I know they were terrible but they do nothing to me now.
You are doing the right thing. EG accept it, tough it out as long as you can but definitely take the pill when it becomes beyond tolerable. This way you keep it positive. You realize of course even though you had to take the pill which really couldn't work at this height of panic that you still won and I am very proud of your effort. You will see, it will work. There should be a small reprieve now before the next one. Use that time to reinforce the fact that you are winning.
Read my post on attitude and see if it makes sense to you.
I didnt realize it but I was actually avoiding work a little. As soon as I got anxious at work I would flee home or to my doctor. I set a gaol for myself to stay at work no matter how horrible I felt. It hasnt been easy but I powered through it but today I was almost defeated but I am back at work - legs like jelly, shivering like a leaf, head and heart pounding but I am here...Any advice on what to do to make myself feel more comfortable?
Thanks for your responses - I just feel incredible fear that something terrible is about to happen - Like I am going to have a heart attack. when I felt the panic rising I tried my calming breaths for about 15 minutes and it just kept spiralling and so I took 1/2 a xanax and even that didnt help. By the end I was shaking and feeling numb all over and I actually drove myself to the ER but I didnt go in. Something held me back and then I read your response and felt a little calmer.
I am back in the office now, still very shaky, my chest hurts like hell, my arms and legs are numb but I dont want this panic to drive me away from work.
Your "presence" made it a little more bearable but I am still very afraid
All I can do is reassure you that this will pass. I've been there, I've had attacks at work, and in the night, they were horrible. I've overcome them and I won't say it was easy but it is done. They still try but they have no power, I shrug them off because I realize they are not separate, they are me doing it and as me I have control of them. I will always have the triggers, so will you but I have learned to neutralize them and so can you although right now it doesn't seem possible believe me it is. Think of the triggers as an ugly wall and your skills as paint. If we paint over this wall it will still be there but it will not be ugly anymore. Same with the triggers, with a different way of looking at them they will still be there but not mean the same. You can do this. I will help you.
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