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12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Time out is now in overtime

Thanks for your support and suggestions they are very much appreciated, the problem is I live in England and he lives in Ireland, 200 miles apart, whereas I am more than willing to compromise, he seems less willing, since my last post things have escalated and I now fear all is over.

I have come so far with this program now I feel the ground has opened up and swallowed me.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Instinct in humans.

Davit please don't ever apologize for your "babbling" , you are much further along in this program than a lot of us and we value your wisdom, sometimes reading the educational pages does not register with me, but when I read your posts I can relate to a lot of the things you say.

I was interested in your post today, I once saw a documentary about identical twin brothers, both well known scientists, in the USA , you maybe saw it too, they had exactly the same DNA. They were given a series of tests, blood, weight, brain activity etc, and asked to return in exactly 12 months time, but not to discuss what each other was doing with their lives.

They lived in different parts of the country, lived different lifestyles, eating different foods, living in different environments and doing different things each day, although they were identical. They also had the same thoughts.

On returning to the lab to have their tests re-done, I was amazed to discover that although they had both continued being very sporty, it seemed that the environment and the way they had spent the last 12 months ( diet etc) had actually changed their DNA, so it was no longer identical. It had also changed their outlook on life, the lazier one whom had put on weight was now depressed whereas the other who had kept off the junk food was extremely happy.

I know this is not quite the same as your innate theory, just thought it was fascinating as I have identical twin daughters and although their DNA is identical they are totally different.

When I get down these days I just think about my children, I find twins, multiple births fascinating, I love watching them interact.

Just a little story to share

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Make this time of year special on your terms

Hi Ashley, I must say this & New Years are my least favorite times of the year, I dread it each year and notice my anxiety attacks get more frequent and stronger the closer we get. Christmas was my late husbands favorite time of year, and since he passed 9 years ago we have as a family lost several more people each year, the latest being my father.

We used to have a huge family Christmas, then we noticed the number of chairs around the table were getting less, and the fewer we had the more our spirits diminished. We never spend Christmas as a family anymore, we all go our separate ways, which is so sad. I try to give my daughters a good Christmas but they don't enjoy it, in fact they can't wait until the holidays are over.

Do you have any suggestions to help us get through this as a family and maybe start our old tradition again?

Museluver

Happy holidays to everyone

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Age, disability and panic.

Hi Davit, I can relate with you on this topic as although I had been bullied as a child and suffered the anxieties that went along with this, it wasn't until I broke my spine that I became agoraphobic, anorexic and had full blown panic attacks. I too had numerous operations over a 2 year period and found myself disassociating from everyone and everything, as I could see people judging me, this had a very negative effect on my mind & from this point in my life things snowballed, each event having a knock on effect. I am a survivor of breast cancer, a widow and all this before the age of 36.

If I did leave my home I went in my motability car and watched, listened & answered ignorant people's questions as they whispered as to why I was parking in a disabled bay, this simple action of parking my car brought on a panic attack, not because I was a bad driver, far from it, because I knew what was to ensue.

I find a lot of people in this world far too judgmental, maybe if they paid as much interest in their own lives as they did into ours they would learn to watch their tongues and realize how well off they are.

Health is something we all take for granted, and it is only when you are suddenly taken out of your comfort zone, when you can't do the simple thing's that you one day could, that it dawns on you, you will have to rely on someone for the rest of your life for certain things. This is my core dilemma, I am too stubborn to ask for help & would rather fight on myself to achieve something (but boy do I get a kick when I have done it) I could have easily done years ago.

You are an inspiration Davit, too many people have far too much time on their hands to sit in judgment of anyone with a disability, they should be taking inspiration from us.

Wishing you & Sunny a very Happy Holiday

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Age, disability and panic.

Hi Red, it appears we have had very similar life experiences and find ourselves meeting on here.

We should take comfort in the knowledge that we are never truly alone, loved ones passed are with us always. Thing's can only get better from here on, we are all here to comfort and support one another.

I wish you Happy Holiday's and may the New year bring us all happiness, health & the ability to shine x

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Ladies Please Help

Sorry to hear about your predicament Deborah, the great positive to come out of this is that it is Christmas and there will be even more chocolate around, what better time to indulge and all us women know it is a known remedy for PMS.

Remember Choccy munching chases those nasty cramps away.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Ladies Please Help

Hi Deborah, Unfortunately due to ill health I had a complete hysterectomy at the age of 29 so I haven't had a period in 17 years, this may sound like a blessing and in most ways it is, but losing your female bit's left me feeling a lot less of a woman especially as I had also lost a breast to cancer, we had also wanted another child, but I am living and breathing and getting everything prepared for a Christmas lunch tomorrow. There will only be myself and one of my daughters, but I thank god I am not one of the poor soles who will be spending the holiday's alone, my thoughts and best wishes goes out to you all.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Hi im new to this site and i live in the UK

Welcome Jax, I too am from th Uk, I looked at many sites but came upon this one as it was mentioned in a wonderful book I am using called Overcoming Depression A self-help guide using Cognitive Behavioral Techniques by Paul Gilbert.. I am using th book in conjunction with this site and feel I have come a long way.

Since I set my first goals and posts my attitude towards thinking has changed but only because I allowed it to change. No matter where we are in the world, we have found ourselves on here for one reason or another but now have a common goal. We are here to help and support one another and the support group I find is a big help, as people comment when they feel you are being particularly positive or negative, suggestions from other members can sometimes seem feel impossible, but nothing worth having is impossible, if you stick at this, just doing a little if and when you feel like it, you and your loved ones will see an improvement.

Even if you don't feel like posting or commenting on threads, reading and knowing there are people here to support you is a great relief. You are never truly alone.

Me , myself & I are here to learn to love each other so that we can appreciate the ones who love and support us. Good luck.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Topic: Making New Years Resolutions

Like yourself Davit I don't make resolutions but set goals. when I joined this site I made my initial goals and have changed them several times during the corse of this process. I had thought I had come a long way, one of my goals was to stop avoiding situations and have been adamant that if asked to anything I would attend, as I have put this off for the past 9 years.

Myself & my daughter have been invited to a family lunch on New years day and for once we said yes, we are going, and yes I feel really good and positive about my decision, until I got an email from my sister just now asking if we would travel 45 miles to a cottage her family have rented in the English Lakes where I live to spend new years eve with our new addition to the family . As soon as I saw the subject heading of the e-mail the feelings began to return, heart pounding, hands shaking, I don't like to drive in the dark as it can trigger off my epilepsy & migraines, so I replied and asked what time as I don't like driving in places I don't know at night.

Am I being too harsh on myself or is this just another avoidance strategy. I would love to go, no-one else will be driving there so I can't get a lift and a taxi would cost too much. I am panicking already and am getting angry with myself as I thought I had made progress.

I don't want to keep letting people down, I don't feel ready, I'm making excuses & I don't know what to do.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 59

Topic: Making New Years Resolutions

Hi Sunny thank you for your kind words, I'm fine with driving to the meal I know my way and it is during the day, but the new years party is at night time over 45 miles away, I've never been there before and the weather is so bad here, gale force winds etc I won't get the opportunity to drive it.

I suppose one positive has come out of this as I don't feel I'm letting them down if we don't go, I feel I'm letting myself down as I had set my goals. I have managed so well so far over the holidays, I have managed to make amends to a certain degree with 2 people I was having anxieties about, and I actually ate something for my lunch on Christmas day, which for me is a huge step.

If I don't get to the party I will have the lunch the next day to enjoy & I won't worry about what people have or have not said about me.

Negative is going to be a word that no longer belongs in my vocabulary from now on.

Happy Holiday's

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