EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Anxiety
Understanding Panic and Agoraphobia
Feelings Coming Back

Advanced Search Form

Feelings Coming Back

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thank you Vincenzia,

I am having a bad day and you're words helped. I am feeling very panicky and scared today, it started the minute I woke and just got worse. I think I am thinking of the future, this first started around this time last year and I guess maybe my mind is saying "history will repeat itself" all those bad feelings and symptoms and it took SO long too feel better, ten long months of suffering and hellish symptoms, even with therapy and meds! I so need to get a grip or I am going too lose my friends and family, its too hard for them too see me like this. I am going to have to go back and review some of the program. Is this normal after holidays? I guess I am trying to find a reason for my symptoms thoughts and feelings. I must find a way too calm myself and not go back.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1853

Hello everyone,

I hope you had a lovely Christmas weekend! Is it just me or did it feel like the days blended into one another?! I enjoyed reading through your postings and reflections. It sounds like there were some mixed emotions, some creeping up of anxiety, but for the most part you were all able to take advantage of moments to relax and take time for yourselves.

Deb: I just wanted to echo what carmieslug & Sunny mentioned about really focusing on living in the moment instead of worrying about what the future may bring. That kind of worry will trap you in living with this feeling of fear and anxiety. I totally understand it's often most easier said than done. Perhaps in those moments you find yourself caught up in 'what may be', take a moment to do some deep breathing and refocus on what you can do in the moment: go for a walk with your dogs, do some visualization, be creative in the kitchen and make a healthy meal.. etc..

I hope you are feeling better today!

Continue to set small goals for yourself daily. Keep the momentum with regards to the progress you are making and reward yourself for it.

What are you planning to do today?

Vincenza, Health Educator

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

I do have things limiting my physical ability. They do affect my stress level. In fact right now I have all the symptoms of a peptic ulcer. Not surprising with the medication I am on and the changes in my life. CBT is keeping me from going crazy or going back on medication. Even when life is the best it can possibly be there can still be stress. That is just how it is. Perception I find can do a lot for ignoring the crap in life but some times the load does get to be a little too much. I have a short fuse and little tolerance for annoyance. Tommy is going deaf so he is very vocal when he wants something. He can't hear himself. I yell at him before I can stop myself. Poor cat. But the fact is he can be unbelievably annoying. A lot of things can be. When it gets too bad I just have to find a quiet place to be alone for a while. No sense fighting it. I do know it was easier when I was not so disabled. Anyone who isn't should look at their stresses and question whether it is the stresses or their perception that is the problem.

I'm betting it is perception. And that can be fixed or tolerated.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi -

First off, Davit - I wanted to thank you for your words. I think we were posting at the exact same time. We're never really the same after we get to know anxiety but I do believe that life is better than ever now that I am really aware of the importance of finding peace and positivity.

Sunny - your words are like your name - they make me smile. It is a dark time of year and it is dark this morning but you brought me light this morning.

Debora, I always appreciate your posts because your anxious thoughts about your health are very similar to the ones that I have. For example, Friday evening I discovered a red bump on my neck - it alarmed me. I showed it to my husband and to a friend who was visiting. It's a pimple, they tell me. Well, I've never had a pimple on my neck before and I'm still a little alarmed but do you know what - they were right and now it's fading away but that evening I had to move on to other thoughts. I elected to stop thinking about the "growth" on my neck and to start being in the moment, which was having a nice evening with family and friends.

I accept now that I am hypervigilant about my health. We have a car that is like me. The alarm lights go on very easily. I am prone to these anxious thoughts, but during good, strong moments, I can relax a bit more about my situation. For me, CBT works best if I don't view it as battling my thoughts. I accept that it is normal for me to have them. This helps me to relax and to question if they really are worth the anxiety and tension I allow them to cause. But really, when I read your posts, I think - I have had very similar thoughts. Have the best Tuesday December 27 you can!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Thanks Sunny and Carmie,

Yes I am thankful Christmas Day was good for the most part and I am proud of myself for doing what had too be done, and I hope you are correct Sunny I so want many more good days and pray that will happen and yes Carmie the CBT does help I just wish it would help the health anxiety better. I was really house bound for many months and in December I went out more than I probably did in one month than eleven all put together, I feel very under the weather, I woke today feeling tired blue and out of sorts, my eyes and even eyeballs were hurting along with my temples and I have a sore on my inner lip thats very painful, just trying to tell myself its a cold sore or canker and NOT mouth cancer, I rarely get sores in my mouth and it kind of scares me, the eye thing is just probably over reading and holiday movies, hopefully, I just hope I did not catch a bug I have been around so many people the last few weeks, but you cannot live in a bubble and avoid germs and people forever!

The bad monthly did NOT help it weakened me thats almost over hopefully but I still managed to go on, I just wish I could forget about my body and symptoms, I so hate being like this, and you cannot run to the Doctor for every little ache pain and sore. I just hope this is a little holiday burn-out, Hugs wrote a post about it I think. I am hoping 2012 is a much better year for me and all of us, 2011 I feel like it was a blur that I wasted so much time worrying and panicking, I dont want to waste anymore of my time and life living like I did this year, its not healthy or normal, and I know this. For my family I want to go on and get better and live again!

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Debora: In your post you said you had a nice Christmas! I am so happy for you. You were so stressed and anxious about ruining the day for your husband and son. You had a good day afterall. Might not the next days be good too? Your appts. might be good. You might be worrying for nothing as they might turn out very well. Keep thinking positive thoughts, not negatives. This year might be the best year you've had for a long time. Think of it as a new positive start.

Good luck,

Sunny

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

I think that your strategy and approach to the New Year is good - don't worry about it until it gets here. This has been my biggest lesson since I started learning about panic and anxiety. For me, it is really important to be in the moment. Most times, I am worrying about things that might happen in the future.

My heart goes out to you for those terrible experiences. You know so much more than you knew then. The experiences are bound to be different, because you are different and you know better. Let's both remember to work on CBT, it is a gift because it can help us relax and to be at peace and to be in the moment.

That's a great way to be ready for the New Year - lots of CBT practice!

I hope you get a chance to take a nice walk with your dog - if not tonight then tomorrow.

My kids have their best friends over for a sleep over - I should go be in "that moment".
Take care,

Carmie

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Carmieslug

Just to say hi and let you know it was the same for me a while ago. In fact when I get tense it is still the fear of having an attack that gets me going. I don't know why actually, something to do with memory I suppose. I've had a few attacks and they were so mellow that I don't think I could call them that. It is ongoing but CBT techniques handle it quite well. I really like your attitude and your caution. It will take you far. Caution like acceptance is a coping skill.

Davit.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 542

Hi Carmie,

Thank you for you're positive encouraging post. I am so happy you did not have an attack today at the gym, that is great you got through it well and its great you are working out. I have not walked in four days since I had my monthly and my body is feeling it, I like my nightly walks and the dogs really miss them, I am hoping to resume them tonight, its good for me and dogs.

I guess maybe I threw myself into the holidays and distracted myself "from myself" does that make sense? Maybe everybody has the blues today and is tired. I think I am dreading the new year and I know that sounds negative, I have to go to some appointments, GYN, mamogram, and dentist and just thinking about it makes my stomach churn and I get shaky. In 2011 I had three appts and they all went so bad, and they were painless so too speak. My first was my primary, I waited almost three hours to get in, and he basically spent ten minutes with me, and said "dont panic be happy" how I wish it were that easy! Then the ultrasound on my leg, my blood pressure was SO high just being there they almost could not perform the procedure! Then my eye-glass appt, I actually had to run out at the end and I vomited on the side of the building, and was so dizzy, even when I go to my nurse-practioner I get very nervous, thank God my therapist comes to the house once every two weeks, that helps, I dont drive so at least that is less stressful, I must get the courage to go to these appts, they do NOT like it when I am so nervous, I probably come off as some kind of basket case! They dont want to have to deal with that I guess.

I will put it out of my mind till after the first of Jan, and deal with it then, at least that will give me some sort of reprive. I guess the bottom line Carmie is I am SO scared 2012 will be like 2011 and that would be bad, it was a terrible year for me, phyically and emotionally, and my fear of Doctors do not help, they really are no help and I feel they get disgusted with me, and I dont want to feel that way! I just hope and pray this coming year will bring me peace and health, that is ALL I want and the love of my family and to live and survive, I wish and pray for that for everyone on this site, thank you for praying for peaceful moments for me Carmie.

12 years ago 0 +0 / -0 373

Hi Debora,

I nearly had an attack today too after a really long streak without one. I haven't been for a very long run since the temperatures have dipped below freezing. I decided to join a gym on Friday. I went for the second time today and decided to see if I could run for an hour. I did and I felt pretty good afterwards until I got to the locker room and noticed that my face was beet red. I started to have anxious thoughts and wondered if I should tell someone at the front desk. And then I started questioning what it was that I was afraid of - and I really couldn't pinpoint any one thing. Do you know what I was most afraid of - a panic attack? Isn't that funny? I took my time leaving the gym and called my husband to let him know that I was heading home (in case something catastrophic happened on the way home). Again, before I started driving - I questioned what my anxious thoughts were - and I was afraid of an attack - and of having a setback.

From everything that I've read, I will have another attack someday. I am assured that if I keep practicing CBT, it will not be like before. This sort-of setback reminded me that I never went ahead with the panic simulation exercises. I've got a lot of good CBT now so I should try it - but it seems unpleasant so I avoid it. I guess that's my new goal - to complete at least one of the panic simulation exercises. I will post here once I've been able to do it.

Anyway, I wanted to share to let you know that I am wishing you well and that I believe you are making great progress and this weekend is just a small setback. I don't think it will ever be as bad as it was before. I hope you continue to find peaceful moments for yourself, Deborah.

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Feelings Coming Back