the next 2 days

I love this. I spend most of my energy worrying about when I will give in, that I won't be able to control myself. But 2 days, I know I can do. its an attainable goal. And 2 days can turn into the whole week etc.. I feel really good about this. 2 days, no drinking.

Hi I?m Sarah

I am 29 and have been trying to cut back on my drinking. I am so proud when I have a sober day and I feel so much better. I have a chance to fix this now, before I hurt my health or my marriage. I have committed to not binge drink and to not drink on weeknights so many times…even though I am 100% sure I know that I don’t want to drink I don’t trust myself a whit. As the day progresses I am going to think, “well, I won’t drink a TON, I’ll just have a glass of wine or whatever…” I almost negotiate with myself that it’s totally normal and as long as I don’t get DRUNK it’s fine. I have two problems, one I love that warm fuzzy one-drink-feeling and two I never stop at one. It’s almost easier to not drink at all. I’ll stop and think about my husband or how I will feel tomorrow and I won’t pour the shot, but once I’ve had one I don’t stop and think. I keep to the “safe drinking guidelines” for the most part – unless there’s a wedding or a party. Most weeks I will have 10 or less drinks, maybe once a week I will have 3 or more drinks and every week has a sober day. But most days I have 2 or 3 drinks. That doesn’t even sound that bad. See?! I’m doing it again! Regardless of how bad my problem is, I think the fact that it bothers me so much shows that I have a problem. I know I’m strong and smart but I absolutely cannot hold myself accountable. For anything, even if I think of it as committing for my husband, I just cannot rely on myself. I would commit in a second if anyone I love asked me to, but how do I make that commitment to myself? How do I learn self-control? I am going to log in everyday. I am going to be accountable to this online community

25 and confused

I feel a lot like this too, other than I do have a mild nagging to drink each evening. When I start to drink I know that more is not going to be better but that logic goes right out the window once I get a buzz. I have stopped "jump-starting", I would take a shot as I poured my first drink to get a buzz going quickly. On further drinks I usually try to stop, think, and decide what's more important; my dreams for the future or my buzz. It usually works until about drink three. Lately I have been making deals with myself, that at least slow me down. Like I can have another drink at 7:30 if I have a water before then. or I can have another drink in 15 min if I still want one. It has been working ok, but gets better as my willpower gets stronger.

Anxiety and Cutting Back

So I just had a totally alcohol free day yesterday, and it's Yoga Tuesdays so I know I wont drink tonight. I am feeling really good! It was easier than expected, and even though I know it will not always be easy I am celebrating a small victory. But I have an anxiety disorder and it's very hard to think positive. I had zero panic attacks last night, I have gotten very good at coping with breathing exercises and prayer, to be honest, but being under the influence exacerbates the situation; I freak out more and calm down slower. So, of course, this morning the thought enters my head - what if I screw up? I had decided on the next two days sober to start me off - a totally attainable goal that will have a big impact. But now, on day two I'm thinking about what comes next. It's very hard for me to take things a day at a time. Tips? Help!

Anxiety and Cutting Back

Thanks so much! my goal at this point is to have better control of myself and to limit my drinking. I realize moderation doesn't work for everyone, and I suppose I will find out one way or another. I realized that for nearly 2 years I have been drinking almost every day, getting drunk multiple times a week and I always felt guilt and regret after. The fact that it bothers me but yet I didn't stop made me see that this is a problem; one that could very easily snowball. I think to commit and to prove something to myself I need to abstain for an extended time. I'm also hoping this will decrease my desire to drink. I'm just very nervous, I don't trust myself yet.

The Pressure of the Battle

I got drunk last night, I was planning to drink but of course once I start I can't stop. I think moderation is going to be difficult for me. I think I need to start with the long period of Sobriety. I made such an ass of myself. I know I pissed off my husband. He came upstairs though and we talked it out and he said we were OK. I even showed him this site. It's so much harder to awknowledge to him than to strangers. I'm just so ashamed. He deserves so much more than I can give him and what I HAVE been giving him is my selfish bull****. Ugh I've said this ends today before, but it really has to. I don't know how to fix this and I don't want it to be his problem. 

What?s One Weekend?

So after my horrible relapse Wednesday night I am going to do an alcohol free-weekend. 2 days was a good goal, but I tricked myself into thinking it meant I had more control. Even though I talked it out with my husband on Wednesday I still feel this morning, a sense of impending doom. Full story: Wednesday I was off work and a busy bee doing housework. I was feeling good and in control and felt like it was a new start. I found an empty vodka bottle that I had polished off in the previous weeks and felt kinda bad. Wanting to undo it perhaps, I grabbed another when I was at the grocery store. I filled the old bottle up most of the way, and had some left. Like an idiot I of course finished it off (almost) myself. My tispy self went into the garage thinking I would do some yard work, and I took the bottle with and stored it under some bags. My husband came out and (very kindly) directed me back inside and into bed, where I bawled and apologized and showed him this site. He was very sweet and said that if this was bothering me, and it was something I felt I needed to do, we would do it together. The next morning he left for a business trip until Saturday. Before he left (I'm sure you can already tell he is awesome) he put out the garbage and recycling. When I got up I immediately went out to add the stupid bottle to the bin. It was gone. I can't remember if I put it in the bin the night before, or if he found it. It doesn't make it any better or worse really if he did or didn't find it. I just feel like he would be mad(der) if he saw it. He has been very normal over text, even teasing me about what he was sure was an excellent headache the next day. I even brought my regret and apologies up again and he lol'd and said all is well, don't worry. But I can't shake this horrible feeling. I'm sure it is equal parts my anxiety, guilt and shame. I know that was all just rambling but it feels good to just get it out. Plus it will help me be motivated. I am hoping to turn this weekend into a week-long, then month-long dry spell. Since my original goal was to only drink on weekends, and then only moderately, I think it's a good challenge to not drink at all Friday or Saturday. Wish me luck, and don't be too disgusted with me :p I know I am.

Hi I?m Sarah

I am well, I am learning that I can't just expect to start fresh and never make a mistake again - not just in regards to drinking. its difficult for me, lol. I am a very impatient person, and I have trouble when things aren't the way I expect them to be. I actually think it might not be about the things that I can't control, but the things I can. I am more afraid of the things I have control over because that means I could mess it up. It's been interesting to consider.

Anxiety and Cutting Back

So far so good this week, haven't even been tempted. But today my confidence is shaken and I'm very anxious. The worry is stemming from the fact that I am NOT worried bout my drinking 24/7. I don't have urges, I am not feeling guilt and I am cautious, but not worried about having control of myself. This actually makes me worried; it's not as big a deal anymore so I am so worried I will get lax and slip back into regular drinking. Does that make sense? The fact that I am not obsessing over it and freaked out every second makes me worried I will go back to the mindset of regular drinking, remorse, obsession and worry. I guess I'm afraid I will get too comfortable. Any tips for staying vigilant?

Hi I?m Robert

I've only been on for a week but find it very helpful. The toolbox is great, the personal blog is helpful to me as a journal almost. It has given me accountability without having to commit to meetings. I've been on everyday and the forums are very helpful to keeping up my motivation. Good Luck to you!