I am 29 and have been trying to cut back on my drinking. I am so proud when I have a sober day and I feel so much better. I have a chance to fix this now, before I hurt my health or my marriage. I have committed to not binge drink and to not drink on weeknights so many times…even though I am 100% sure I know that I don’t want to drink I don’t trust myself a whit. As the day progresses I am going to think, “well, I won’t drink a TON, I’ll just have a glass of wine or whatever…” I almost negotiate with myself that it’s totally normal and as long as I don’t get DRUNK it’s fine. I have two problems, one I love that warm fuzzy one-drink-feeling and two I never stop at one. It’s almost easier to not drink at all. I’ll stop and think about my husband or how I will feel tomorrow and I won’t pour the shot, but once I’ve had one I don’t stop and think. I keep to the “safe drinking guidelines” for the most part – unless there’s a wedding or a party. Most weeks I will have 10 or less drinks, maybe once a week I will have 3 or more drinks and every week has a sober day. But most days I have 2 or 3 drinks. That doesn’t even sound that bad. See?! I’m doing it again! Regardless of how bad my problem is, I think the fact that it bothers me so much shows that I have a problem. I know I’m strong and smart but I absolutely cannot hold myself accountable. For anything, even if I think of it as committing for my husband, I just cannot rely on myself. I would commit in a second if anyone I love asked me to, but how do I make that commitment to myself? How do I learn self-control? I am going to log in everyday. I am going to be accountable to this online community
