Here is some interesting information about trying moderation vs. abstinence. There are so many resources out there, including this site!
Research into moderate or "controlled" drinking (for a woman, no more than 3 per day and 9 per week) has shown that this strategy can be successful for people who have not yet developed a pervasive pattern of alcohol abuse, or who have experienced few negative consequences from drinking. You're also more likely to succeed if you're young, female, employed, have reasonable social support, and are confident about limiting intake. The principle behind moderate drinking is to set goals and limits before crossing the line into dependence. But the research is clear: Moderation is unlikely to be successful for people whose pattern of drinking fits the definition of alcoholism. For example, one study followed drinkers' for three to eight years after taking a course of behavioral self-control training. This therapy is designed to teach moderate drinking behavior. The researchers found that as severity of dependence increased, the likelihood that subjects could reduce their drinking to moderate levels, and keep it there, went down dramatically. Thus, for the most dependent drinkers, abstinence may be the only option.
Although moderate drinking may not work for someone with significant alcohol dependence, it may be useful for introducing the notion of change. Many people are ambivalent about giving up alcohol, even though dependence may be straining their relationships or jeopardizing their jobs. The sad reality is that alcohol has become so integral to their lives that they can't imagine what life would be like without it. On the upside, someone who expresses a desire to drink in a more controlled way is indicating a willingness to confront the problem. Attempts to moderate drinking are certainly worth trying as a first step. First of all, it might work. And if it doesn't work, it can help a person understand how difficult moderation is. By paying close attention to the experience, he or she may come to appreciate exactly how drinking reinforces the impulse to drink. Moderation may also be a way to practice changing drinking behavior.