Camiol, good luck, whatever you decide to do! Moderation is a wonderful thing - so enjoy yourself...but not so much that you feel bad tomorrow. I look forward to hearing what you decided to do, and how it went...
I feel much the same as splitimage. I convinced myself many times over many years that I could do the moderation thing, and it always ended up the same way. And yet, I know so many people who drink responsibly. To me, the concept of only ten drinks a week is slightly mind boggling -- that's almost the same as abstinence anyway.
Wow, Camiol - that is a huge accomplishment. The odds were stacked against you last night, and yet you made it through. Pedicure is a perfect follow-up! And Hope made it through an entire week! Definitely reward yourself, Hope. My earrings icon are my 1-week reward, and I love them. I've decided that I'm going to start growing my turquoise jewelry, and the turquoise will be my sober icon - both on this site, and whenever I'm wearing it. I just looked up its "meaning" (not that I hold a lot of stock in that sort of thing, but it's interesting). It made me smile:
Turquoise is one of the oldest protection amulets. A truth stone, it symbolizes a time to be honest with yourself. Much will be gained when you become still, and see yourself as your truly are. This stone is a reminder to share your vision and WALK your TALK! The truth is very motivating to those ready to hear it. By doing so, you make it okay for them to believe and follow. This gem stone is a stone of self realization helping you to better understand yourself, your ideas and emotions. It is a wonderful aid in regards to any type of analytical thinking.
Ahh, the loooooong weekend. I actually have next week off (and so do my kids) so it's a VERY long weekend -- 10 days. While I'm looking forward to some relaxation after finishing a huge deadline at work yesterday, that's a whole lot of days to get through sober, including the 24/7 kids and very little adult distractions. My husband has to work, so we can't go anywhere. Today is fairly busy catching up on household stuff, but the next week looms big. I have always enjoyed getting through times like this when I was well lubricated, so how do I do it dry? I can't buy myself earrings every day, or I'm afraid the allure will wear off. Sigh. I know I can take the kids swimming every day. That's one thing.
Crap. My 6yo daughter left the house in tears this morning, because of a little trinket she had given me for Mother's Day. It was a beautiful little cloth & watercolor painted clothing pin to wear. I don't even remember her giving it to me, which hints at how many glasses of wine I might have had at the time. At any rate, at some point after Mother's Day, I dropped it in the toilet (ahem, undoubtedly not sober then, either) and not remembering what it even was, I tossed it in my bathroom trash can. Episode forgotten. Until this morning when my daughter discovered it in the trash can. I told her why it was in there, at which point she said in a shocked voice me that she had made it specially for me for Mother's day. Oh yeah. What a slimeball mom. How many other times have I done stuff like that, that I don't even remember? At six, she's probably - hopefully - young enough that she won't remember this. But that will quickly change. I don't want my kids to look back on their childhood and talk about their "alcoholic mother!" This is huge motivation to stay sober next week. I feel like dog poop right now.
Hope and Camiol, we all have to remember that the point of this discussion (and this site) is not about abstaining. It's about not being drunk. It's about making our lives better by not letting alcohol control us. Camiol, there is nothing wrong with what you did. If our conversation can keep you drinking responsibly, in a way that you feel good about even afterward, then you are doing beautifully! IMHO, you can keep up the count from where you started a week ago, as long as you drink responsibly. Being sober is not the magic concept. Not being drunk IS. So congratulate yourself! You have now gone a week (right?) without drinking too much! I have just as much respect (and awe and amazement) for people who do that.
Part of the reason I am here and not at AA meetings, is that ultimatums rarely work. Life isn't about all or nothing, good or bad, black or white. Absolutely everything in life rides the spectrum through a million shades of gray. Having said that, I'm not sure I can do the responsible drinking, because I've tried it so many times. Of course, I've never had the support of a group like this. Maybe I could. Maybe I'll try. Ashley says that responsible drinking means ten drinks or less per week, and two drinks or less per day. In my mind, that's almost the same as abstaining - lol. But good for you. I'll hold on to that thought if I get to a point where I decide to drink. It's about drinking responsibly!
I've also had many experiences of people who undermine my efforts. What they are really doing, Camiol, is trying to validate their own drinking. It's not that they are consciously trying to make you fail, but they feel threatened by you. If you don't drink, then they feel like you are judging them for drinking, or they feel guilty about their drinking. If you DO drink (especially after telling them your goals) then it somehow makes their drinking okay. Not that it makes it any easier on you.
Anyway, gotta go. Kids are up and looking over my shoulder. Good luck to both of you today.
Black Pearl, I just realized that in my rush to get off the computer before my kids saw what I was doing, I forgot to include your name in my last post. You have been helping me, and your struggle is so valid and difficult and important! I am proud of you for cutting back so that you can drink responsibly. It is so difficult. Hang in there -- we are all here for each other.
I finally told my closest drinking buddy (my husband) that I was very concerned about my own drinking and that I've won every online test I've taken to check if I'm really an alcoholic. Yeah, I'm really an alcoholic. He also drinks more than the conventional standard for "drinking responsibly", but he never seems to wake up hungover like I so often was doing. He is very supportive of my wanting to quit, but he is also very open to my trying to drink responsibly. I think that part of this is probably so he doesn't lose his best drinking buddy, and I totally can't blame him. For a long time we were able to enjoy wine without it being an issue for either of us, and I'm the one who gradually turned a glass into 2 glasses, then a bottle....
Like Camiol, I am undergoing a terrible inner struggle about what I want to do, because I so love to drink good wine. White wine is also the prettiest monster for me, but I love good red wines almost as much. I don't really have a problem with the idea of giving up hard liquor for the rest of my life. That was never my habit. Actually, just saying that is making me think hard about this. So much of it is the habit. Yes, the buzz is wonderful, but the habit is so strong. How do I replace the drinking habit with some other lovely, enjoyable habit? Nice idea, but I can't come up with any alternative that sounds nearly as appealing.
Tomorrow will be my 2-week mark for staying sober, which feels good, but I'm barely looking forward to an awesome Independence Day party next Wednesday, because of the thought of not being able to drink. Oops, gotta go.
BP, check out this website - it has a lot of good information: www.webmd.com/mental-health/alcohol-abuse/alcohol-withdrawal-symptoms-treatments. Lots of strength to you...
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
