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Browse through 411.755 posts in 47.056 threads.

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13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am new today and need to get through without a drink for just 1 day.

Do you any friend you can talk to? or call the AA hot line? I know its difficult when the obsession to drink is with us. Try to pray and ask for help.
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Trying to quit while husband still drinks

The question is are you an alcoholic? Do you have the obsession of the mind that after an absence convince yourself that you can drink one or two drinks safely? And then once you start drinking you can just stop with one or two drinks? And when you are not drinking, Are you restless, irritable and discontented?

If you are, you probably need to spiritual solution. See if you can find local AA meetings. Or the least you can do is visit AA on-line and read the book called Alcoholics Anonymous free at the site. 
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Myth or Fact?

I am not sure how I am intimidating you by posting questions from the Big Book. Perhaps because we are talking about truth, it hurts. And AA is not religious, it is a spiritual program of action. There are all kinds of people in AA include Rabbis and Preachers. No one tries impose on there perspective of God onto others. We even have atheists and agnostics who are in the fellowship and they come up with there own concept of higher power.. 

There is a Chapter called "We Agnostics" where it talks about how one can overcome this hurdle.
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
AA?

She also recommended AA. I don't really want to go even though I have heard great things about it. Is it possible to make this change without going to AA? 

I landed in AA due to my shrinks advice about 4 years ago. I had no clue what AA had to offer. Didn't even imagine life without booze is possible. But because I tried everything include the anti-depressants, something he said struck a cord in my befogged mind. He put me on Vivitrol and Camprol for first 2 months in AA, but then he said for a permanent solution I had to approach a spiritual solution. My brother had died of alcoholism in 94' so he didn't want to put me on Antabuse. Looking at the family history he didn't want to risk the same. 

Entering modern day AA opened the door for a permanent recovery. Few months into going to meetings, I landed on some speaker takes on the internet (the link is on my blog), thru which I realized the power behind the 12 steps of AA. Its just not going to meeting and helping others. Many people do that but fall out and then blame AA. The approach is to work all the 12 steps of AA and keep working them always, not bits and pieces. Then you have what they call a spiritual awakening (or a psychic change) you start looking at the world in a different perspective.

Here are some of the promises:

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. 
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Myth or Fact?

Please do not retaliate. Doing so would only aggravate the situation. Perhaps you can have a better conversation tomorrow when you are sober. 

Early in my sobriety because without alcohol it was difficult to manage life situations, I use to just walk away from situations that would only add fuel to the fire. But slowly after the fogginess lifted, sanity returned.
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Myth or Fact?

You always seem so wise - how long have you been sober?  did you do the steps? 

I am living the promises of AA thats all. And am sober little over 4 years and yes I try to work the steps every moment, i should say, i let the steps lead me. 

You can do it too. In the "Power of now" there is a chapter called "Meaning of Surrender": I am going to leave a piece of it here:

To some people, surrender may have negative connotations, implying defeat, giving up, failing to rise to the challenges of life, becoming lethargic, and so on. True surrender, however, is something entirely different. It does not mean to passively put up with whatever situation you find yourself in and to do nothing about it. Nor does it mean to cease making plans or initiating positive action.
Surrender is the simple but profound wisdom of yielding to rather than opposing the flow of life. The only place where you can experience the flow of life is the Now, so to surrender is to accept the present moment unconditionally and without reservation. It is to relinquish inner resistance to what is. Inner resistance is to say "no" to what is, through mental judgment and emotional negativity. It becomes particularly pronounced when things "go wrong," which means that there is a gap between the demands or rigid expectations of your mind and what is. That is the pain gap. If you have lived long enough, you will know that things "go wrong" quite often. It is pre-cisely at those times that surrender needs to be practiced if you want to eliminate pain and sorrow from your life. Acceptance of what is immediately frees you from mind identification and thus reconnects you with Being. Resistance is the mind.
Surrender is a purely inner phenomenon. It does not mean that on the outer level you cannot take action and change the situation. In fact, it is not the overall situation that you need to accept when you surrender, but just the tiny segment called the Now.
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This is every similar to 1st step of AA:

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.

Once we accept our powerlessness, they we are ready for a solution. Until we this happens its very hard to come o
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Finally Decided I need some kind of help.

I am sorry you feel that way about AA.  Just because you see word GOD in the steps please don't conclude its religious. Actually its a spiritual program of action. All you need is willingness, honesty and an open-mind.
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
New Start

I foolishly thought I would be able to drink 'normally' and 'socially' which I did at first

Thats the in-sanity AA talks about. There is a story in the book called AA where a Business man quits in order to succeed in in business career. And after 30 years of a successful career, he picks up a drink but and pretty soon his drinking gets out of control. So the book says once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. We cannot make a normal drunk, there is no medication out there yet to do that. The only solution is spiritual.
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Looking for a reading...foxman?

Our drinking has warped our thinking. We use alcohol to numb all our problems/emotions and when Alcohol stops working for us, its a rude awakening. In your situation, your husband also needs to become aware and support the fact that you want to lead an alcohol free life, but due to his ignorance, he is behaving like this. Perhaps he is spiritually un-fit too. He probably needs some help. 

But, all we could do is work on ourselves. The book states:

Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kill us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid. Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we could not live up to them even though we would have liked to. Neither could we reduce our self-centeredness much by wishing or trying on our own power.

13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Binge Drinking

What you referring to as craving is actually in AA they call it an obsession. A sudden thought that this time its going to be normal and you take a drink. But then there is a phenomenon of Craving kicks in AFTER you take that 1ST Drink and then you end up dunk. And you are right, its a progressive disease, as we get older, we loose more enzymes and the physical craving gets harder and get into this vicious cycle.

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