Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Emergency Happy Questions

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-06-11 2:42 PM

Depression Community

logo

Questions to challenge negativity

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-06-03 3:43 PM

Depression Community

logo

Social anxiety disorder

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-05-29 1:50 PM

Anxiety Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Loved

Browse through 411.758 posts in 47.059 threads.

160,770 Members

Please welcome our newest members: MereM, browcari, Cas151, Britanica78, m_ladyschoolme

Myth or Fact?


13 years ago 0 53 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I drank again and I get mean to my husband when I drink.  And now he keeps swearing at me and yelling at me and calling me names.  I know I brought this on myself.  I think I've ruined my marriage but he says he won't leave because this is his house too.  I just talked to my mother and told her I have a problem and I think he's going to leave me.  she told me not to let this ruin everything but I think it's too late
13 years ago 0 1022 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Choosing, I like your honesty! I think the most important thing to remember is that there are SO MANY different ways to learn how to change behaviors we are not comfortable with. AA works great for Foxman and millions of others, but it isn't for everyone. You need to find the most organic approach for yourself. We all share a desire to change our relationship with alcohol....
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I am not sure how I am intimidating you by posting questions from the Big Book. Perhaps because we are talking about truth, it hurts. And AA is not religious, it is a spiritual program of action. There are all kinds of people in AA include Rabbis and Preachers. No one tries impose on there perspective of God onto others. We even have atheists and agnostics who are in the fellowship and they come up with there own concept of higher power.. 

There is a Chapter called "We Agnostics" where it talks about how one can overcome this hurdle.
13 years ago 0 53 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I hate to admit this but your logic scares me...  I resist AA philosophy because of the religious bent plus a couple other things I'm not confortable sharing.  But you seem so strong and so sure and so... I don't know... certain.... that you intimidate me
13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Here is some questions the book called AA asks the reader:

Why does he behave like this? If hundreds of experiences have shown him that one drink means another debacle with all its attendant suffering and humiliation, why is it he takes that one drink? Why can't he stay on the water wagon? What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?

Perhaps there never will be a full answer to these questions. Opinions vary considerably as to why the alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle.

We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. The experience of any alcoholic will abundantly confirm this.

These observations would be academic and pointless if our friend never took the first drink, thereby setting the terrible cycle in motion. Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholic's drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can't feel the ache. If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk.

13 years ago 0 1562 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Alcoholism is not determined by how often people drink but whether or not they can control their drinking once they start.

That is 100% true. However: there is a peculiar mental twist Alcoholics develop which leads them into taking that first drink. If it was just the controlling of the quantity after they take they first drink, the simple remedy would be just not to drink. But why are they taking that first drink? Knowing very well they can't handle the drink?

Another characteristic of an alcoholic is, if he is not drinking, he is restless, irritable and discontent.

In my case, I vividly experienced this state when on forced sobriety. But the moment, I picked up a 6 pack from a store, i don't even have to take a sip, I would be at ease. 
13 years ago 0 74 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi Ashley,
 
I'm one who can go for a few months without drinking but when I do start to drink it can last for weeks,not falling down drunk just always having so many drinks every evening more some days than others.Sometimes drank until I blacked out.
Binge drinking, it was me who bought the liquor,it was me who reached for the glass and drank.
 
At this point in time I doing it one day at a time, also been spenting time reading forums e-AA
13 years ago 0 11221 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Members,
Myth: Alcoholics drink every day

Fact: Some alcoholics drink only on weekends, some abstain for months. Alcoholism is not determined by how often people drink but whether or not they can control their drinking once they start.

How did alcohol control you?
Ashley, Health Educator

Reading this thread: