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Best and worst day of my life

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Oh Wow thank you everyone, this support really means a lot to me. I feel so much better today, I got right back on track yesterday. It’s hard being around my brother and mom because they don’t recognize their drinking is a problem, how it effects the way they act around each other, or me. They’ll likely always be in denial about it so there’s no way I can even think about trying to help them until I look after myself first. I figure my fighting chance is that I will not deny the facts anymore but use them to get better.

Thanks so much for your thoughts and suggestions. Last night when I got home from work I really put an effort into my “Emergency Plan” I need to focus on using all the great tools I’m learning to help. I think a break from family until I can control my triggers is a good idea for now – I like the idea of only calls during the day. I was still a bit upset at myself when I got home but got over it. I thought it might be a bit silly but wrote out a list of reasons why I can’t drink (positive goals)..... 3 pages later I felt better. Saying I’m on a diet is a great reason to explain why I’ll say no thanks because it’s true. And yes they would respect that. Being a former athlete I have been back at the gym lately training for the soccer league I signed up for. I'm not the fit gal I used to be but my body remembers how to train. It’s been a few years but I’d really like to get back to who I was so I'm trying to make the first steps.

So with all this being said and being back on day 2 I still have the same goal, to make it past my 13th day of not drinking and then continue on with a new goal. Armed with the right tools I will succeed this time. Thanks again for all the support, I really appreciate it.

Jbblue

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

Hello Jbblue,

I guess holidays can be especially difficult, for me it's an excuse waiting to happen if I let it. I can totally relate to the guilt and self-dissapointment on the "day after" - it is the pits. Don't worry too much though, perhaps think about those days you didn't drink and the positive feeling and other benefits you realized.

What a great example of working a trigger situation, Hors Controle - talking to family in the morning instead of during the times that it was a trigger and when you are vulnerable - way to go! As none of my family or friends know of my problem, my tactic to say "no" is to tell them I'm trying to lose weight (which is true). Jbblue, what might you try next time you're in this tempting situation?

Wishing you another successful day, Jbblue! :-)

-Keesu

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Hi JbBlue,

you don't have to feel angry at yourself. You've being doing good for those last few days and this is what counts. My 2 sisters and my mother drink. When I was trying to quit before, I would not even talk to them on the phone around dinner time because I knew it would trigger the desire to drink.

This time I told them right away that we should talk in the morning if we have too so I don't associate talking with them and drinking. It takes a while but you will probably find a way to deal with it.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 251

Hey Jbblue,

Sorry that you had a bad day yesterday! Those family situations can be brutal for these types of things. We can fall back into our old ways when we are around other family members that share(d) the same bad habits as us. I find it is this way with drinking and eating. Family gatherings and get togethers often revolve around a meal and alcohol. We feel like we are in our comfort zone and do things we might not do on a regular basis. I experienced something similar this weekend but more with food. I have been really watching what I eat as of late, and I went to visit my family for mother's day. The cookie jar was filled with fresh cookies, the desserts were abundant, the meals were calorie-dense and fat. But I couldn't say no to my mom's offerings. I think we just need to find a balance and also keep our family members in the loop on our lives. If our family knows in advance that we are eating healthy and losing weight or cutting out alcohol. I feel like they will respect these health behaviours and offer alternatives. I'm not sure...but that seems to be logical...

what do you think?

Ray

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2606

Hi Jbblue,

I am sorry to hear that you had a bad day yesterday. It sounds like spending time with certain family members places you in tempting situation. Be aware of this and do what it takes to stay on track with your goals. It may also be a good idea to learn the many ways to say "no thanks!".

There's no law that says that you have to drink when other people drink. And you don't have to take a drink that's been handed to you.Saying no, especially for the first few times, can be tough.It helps to practice. You might want to say that you feel better or get along with people better when you don't drink.Make your best effort to stay away from anyone who gives you a hard time about not drinking.

As you mentioned there is no sense in dwelling on it, keep persevering and focusing on the progress you have made.

What coping mechanisms can you use in future situations?

Samantha, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

I had a bad day yesterday. Being Mother’s day my husband and I went over to my mom’s. My brother was there and him along with my mom made it easy for me to give in. We all have the same problem. It was like I could justify it. So today of course I’m back to day one and like always I’m angry at myself. I think it’s kind of sad I’ll have to avoid my family in order to stay on track. I still have the same goal in mind I’m just not happy that I’m starting over again. For now I will try not to dwell on it so I can have a successful day.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Hello Keesu & JbBlue,

I will certainly try to come and see what's happening and look for support everytime I can. The last time I tried one year ago, I was not commited to write on the forum and develop some kind of "support relation" but I sincerely think now that it really helps me, knowing I am not alone and my friend do not have to know about my problem.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Thanks Keesu

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

Hi Jbblue,

I would both enjoy and benefit from connecting with you guys as often as I can! Like right now, I have the urge - this time because of a stressful situation at work. So, I logged into this forum to encourage myself - and your message was right there waiting for me, just when I needed it! Thank you! Now I'll take 15 minutes to play with the dog, then try to approach this work situation without fretting over it, just do my best and let it go. Congrats on your Day 3, soon it will be 4...and more! :-)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Hi Hors controle & Keesu,

I think this may be the beginning of a good support system! It’s so much easier to relate to people in the same situation as yourself. Would you agree it wouldn’t be bad idea to check in with each other daily? Hors controle 23 days is absolutely amazing. Good for you! I cross out successful days on the calendar. Keesu keep up the effort. I hope you can achieve going a few days without a drink and then be able to progress from there. It’s hard, I’m only on my third day today but I do feel better each day and very proud of myself. It’s rewarding and inspires me to continue on to reach my goal of two weeks. Then I’ll set a new goal. Keep in touch, we can beat this together.

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Best and worst day of my life