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Best and worst day of my life

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Alcoholism is a family disease, i am glad that your husband is attending al-anon. Perhaps he will bring home the book called Alcoholics Anonymous. I believe they too use the same book. Please try to read the "Doctors Opinion" at least today. See how mangled alcoholism is.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

Hors Control, friend, and other friends,

Thank u also for your honest post. What day is this for you, Hors Control?

Others? your success is so great to hear!

As you see from my earlier post to Jbblue, i've had a bit of a struggle. "Bit" is too mild, it is bigger. My husband is, well, ready to leave me, not understanding completly but going extra mile to help me. He is done with me/this addiction (as he should be)...ready for divorce, yet not so much (HE was brave enough to go to al-anon, support group that helps with a loved one dealing with us/me in this situation) that he is reaching out to find a doc/therapist for me, bless his soul. I've got a few seconds left with him if I can figure this out.

Thanks for your support and kind words. It helps me so much.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

Hi Hors and JbBlue, Foxman, Tallone and all ones new and old that that keep in touch here....

I hesitate to write this because I don't want to bring anyone down. Be assured, your positive progress means the world to me to see online every day! So...your sharing your struggles, successes and daily life makes a REAL (positive) difference to me, and I truly consider it a gift.

For me, I've had some difficulties (to say mildly). Met goal of no hard alcohol for beyond one month, but didn't put limits on wine consumption, so...you can all guess where that went! "Cleverly" changed my behavior to consume wine to get intox. My husband didn't see thru it. We are back at a hard decision. He is finding a therapish (for better term) for me, because I'm so totally scared to talk about this to human being in person. Actually he already went to Al-Anon today after desperation. Wow, how much more proud can you be of a partner to do that...that I am so scared of. He loves me so much to do this, but this really last chance for me to save my "soul partner" relationship.

Thanks for all your support. It is great to hear from each of you. Any advice, comment, suggestions are absolutely welcomed and appreciated.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 35

Jbblue, it is wonderful to hear your voice again, and the sharing of your experiences. I'm SOOO proud of you! Your positive changes are truly inspiring - getting back into what you love, the exercise and fitness steps you took, with your husband's support and joining in on some, and also making those health appts (which is so scary to me, and maybe others), I'm so proud of you for that also. We are proud of you and back you up every step. Thank you for helping us in steps before or after you...your comments are a treasure. So a second way to be proud of yourself. (virtual huge hug!) ;-)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

hors,

It's hard when you see it everyday. Concentrate on how well your doing and visit the family often. When it gets passed that line, leave..

You have a right to enjoy your daughters and they have a right to enjoy their grandparents. Shorten your visit, plan to have dessert out! Walk to an ice cream shop or store and keep your visit short!

You are on the right track and your coping mechanisms are great!

Be proud, you have every right!

Josie, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Excellent coping mechanisms and plans of action!

Pushing forward is hard, but you have made yourself some goals and you will reach them.

Be honest with yourself and others. You need to do this for your mind and body and every little bit of validation helps!

Don't be so hard on yourself, but get back on track and move forward.

Josie, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Good for you JbBlue,

I was wondering what you were doing lately, you were not writing anymore but you did a LOT!!

It is very nice that you made the decision to get your health back together and made all those apppointment. I still cannot dare telling the doctor I have been drinking all those years and I should get my liver checked, especially that it is beginning to hurt regularly now and I am feeling very tired all the time.

Let us know how it goes with your evaluation. Maybe I will also give it a try.

I hope you will enjoy your birthday anyway, even without alcool. Maybe you should let them know of your decision. I went for dinner at my parent's last night. My daughters cannot believe that I find it such a pain to go and visit them. My mom did not drink too much but my father did and I was looking at him and I am thinking that I just don't want to be like that, old and drunk, repeating the same story, over and over again.It was kind of funny how one of my daughter reproached to the other one that she did not help cleaning after the meal. So my other daughter answered: ''I did not help but you did not have to hear grandpa repeat the same story 10 times''.

I find it very sad to see that growing distance between me and my parents. I don't want to go anymore. I get aggressive when I go visit them

My boyfriend and I are now carrying our desalcoolized beers and drinks and let people know we have decide to cut down a lot on our drinking. No strange look. That's fine .

Keep up the good work JbBlue. You sound soooo determined

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Hello,

How’s everyone doing? I’m still struggling quite a bit but after another very brief relapse have managed to make it back to day 8 again. Even though I have slipped for an evening – many times after several days without drinking I’ve been able to get right back to staying sober. My birthday is next week and I’m extremely worried about it. I haven’t made any plans and I don’t think I want to. The only problem is my alcoholic family will want to celebrate. I’m going to have to come up with something within my comfort zone. I really want to avoid drinking on my birthday, it will be such a great success if I do because it’s been years since I haven’t celebrated with drinks.

Otherwise I've made some pretty positive changes lately that I’d like to share. Besides being a member of a ladies soccer team my husband and I have signed up for some outdoor bootcamp classes to continue helping with my fitness goals. I’ve got an appointment with a nutritionalist this week to set up a diet specific to me. I’ve put myself on a waiting list at a treatment center to get a personal assessment done, I’m ready for another opinion to be rid of alcohol forever. And I’ve also made an appointment with my doctor to make sure I’m taking all the right steps to get my health back completely. I want to have a wonderful summer and I wish the same for everyone here.

What I really want to share is how nervous I was about making all these appointments. But after I got over the initial stubbornness and realized I must do it to get better it really wasn’t so bad after all. I hope my experience with this fear and denial might help out some others.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 557

Hello Keesu & JbBlue,

Thanks a lot for your support. I know I am certainly making it harder for me, trying to learn to drink again. One sure thing, I cannot let myself have more than 4 drinks or I will just feel like finishing the bottle and opening another one, then the argument will start again with my boyfriend and it will ruin everything.

Today I felt like drinking with that 35degrees outside. I went to buy more desalcoolized beer. I found one brand that taste like beer and have only 50 calories.lol. It scares me a little tough, scare to compensate and think one beer that I could drink one alone, a real one.

It is very good JbBlue that you decided to go to your cousin and not to drink. I am sure she is a nice person even if she is not drinking. Stay strong for your doggie. I am sure you want to be there 100% for him.

I think it is a wonderful idea that you both fix yourself some goals, like a little friendly challenge. You should give it a try.

Thanks again for all your good words. I come to read about all you people everyday of the week and even during the weekend. It is still a great source of motivation for me. I do consider your advice about how more difficult it can be to try to control ourselves than to quit completely. I will be extra careful and on my guard.

have a wonderful evening

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Hi Keesu and Hors Controle,

I haven't checked in here in awhile but I'm doing great! I'm very motivated and inspired to continue moving on. I almost feel like a completely different person. I've had some extremely hard moments lately (I'm going to share them) but have done really well. I've been keeping very busy.

My Mom, who is has had a heavy drinking problem for many years took a week off to travel with me to see some family where we're from. I'd originally planned to take the trip alone but she wanted to come see her brother (who's also been an alcoholic for most of his life) The good news is I was going to visit my cousin and her family. So to avoid my Mom setting off the usual triggers I dropped her off as soon as we arrived and went to stay with my cousin's family. They don't drink at all and have little ones which I spent the majority of my time with. In my spare time I have a passion for cooking so I spent quite a bit of time in the kitchen and really had an amazing time.

On the flip side my mom and Uncle were supposed to stop one day for lunch but never showed up because my Uncle "forgot" My wonderful cousin I was staying with is his daughter.The next day we were back in the kitchen and collaborated on a traditional meal that came from my Grandparents. My mom and Uncle showed up late but made it.

My point is that I'm realizing what it looks like from a SOBER point of view. I absolutely don't want to continue down that path. At the moment I'm scared sober but at the same time have a drive and inspiration to stay sober. In saying this I'm going to quit being so stubborn and look for additional help to ensure I continue maintaining sobriety.

I realize that it's too difficult to limit drinking.(Just my opinion but I've also read that once you've become an alcoholic you can't go back to social drinking) Once an alcoholic always an alcoholic. If you can have a drinking problem and then decide to try and control drinking after a period of sobriety I think that's amazing if achieved. At the moment I believe I've done well enough to not want to even risk trying to control or limit my drinking. Isn't there too much to lose...again?

Hors Controle I want you to know that you've helped me, I've read almost everything you've written and it's inspired me to continue to fight. Every time I try to limit my drinking it might work for awhile but I always end up where I started. You probably know where I'm going here. Please stay strong, if you do drink casually again I really hope it's different for you this time.

Keesu, I think it's awesome you've gone so long without hard alcohol. Good job! That was my problem as well. I love wine too. I've learned alcohol is alcohol. Hard or not. I was wondering if you'd like to set a small goal with me. Maybe we could not drink at all for a certain period of time? Let me know what you think :)

I had a really hard moment today when I arrived home. My childhood dog which I've had since the age of 10 is on his last legs. Not a big deal for some but I've had him for 17 years. My instinct said go ahead and have a drink. But I didn't. Frick was it hard. I get his tests back tomorrow. Anyway I decided to share a lot because I haven't written here in awhile. Keep in touch all and I've love to hear some feedback. Take care for now.

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Best and worst day of my life