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4 months ago +1 foxman 1555 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Can anyone give me some ideas on what worked for you when you were about to take that first drink? I really don’t want to go down that road again.


Hello Jonathan. Interesting question. I assume, since you mentioned the word sponsor you are part of AA, have a copy of the big book. True powerlessness is that one does not have the capacity to overcome the desire to stop from taking the first drink. On page 24 it takes about the obsession that takes you over. We get blind-sighted. Then then substantiate that theory with those short stories in the chapter "More about alcoholism". The man of thirty, the car salesman and the accountant story.

So what is the solution? To become aware of those mental twists. Just one, mixing alcohol in milk, only beer, only wine...........Underlying cause is, not recognizing our nature and also being spiritually bankrupt. At this point, we feel hopeless, so we get depressed, bored, anxious... very natural, we are so vulnerable at this point that our mind seeks that solace by taking a drink or two. So to overcome these internal discomfort, we start working the reminder of the steps. Writing down the causes and condition that lead us back into that 1st drink.

So try to find a sponsor who will help work the 12 steps and experience the position of neutrality as the 10th step promise talks about. We will have a clear idea who we are and that we shift our attention to something else other than alcohol.

Goodluck.

Fox

I had a good day. Thanks Lynn123 and gusa. I kept myself busy and tried to stay in the moment with gratitude. Advice from my old sponsor! I have a lot of fear about letting my family down again. My therapist has been talking me through this and using it for good. I’m not sure if anyone here has kids but that part has been very difficult for me. My wife and daughters are my life and I want a sober me as much for them as I want it for myself. I’ve been very depressed when I think of the me they have seen in the past. My therapist is helping me come to terms with that. Can anyone give me some ideas on what worked for you when you were about to take that first drink? I really don’t want to go down that road again.

4 months ago 0 Lynn123 322 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

johnontheslopes,

4 days without alcohol is a great start! Having the support of your family is such a good thing. Lean on them to get you through the tough times. Your attitude sounds great. How have you been today?

I wish you luck. Stay strong!

Lynn

Thanks everyone. You are all very encouraging. I don’t have a lot of confidence right now so thank you. I’ve been down this road much too frequently. Im very blessed that I still have a family that supports me and I have much guilt around what I have burdened them with. In a strange way, this is what helps me not to drink today. It’s an uncomfortable feeling as my therapist would say but necessary. I have spent so much time asking myself what leads me back to the bottle without any real and truthful answers. It’s the alcohol in the bottle that leads me back there. I plan to banish it from my life once and for all and right all the wrongs it has caused me and those I love. Thanks for the book idea. I will seek that out. This time, I will take action and stick to it. 4 days without a taste!

4 months ago 0 GusA 115 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi John,
I am back into using this website recently. I used it very successfully in quitting for about 3 years. I went away for awhile, but now I'm back.
You sound just like me - like you need a break. Posting here can help. I post here, and I can then go back and read my post later - sometimes weeks and months later. Its like I'm coaching myself, in a way.
I also listened to Allan Carr, Easy Way to Control Alcohol. It costs about $10 to download onto you phone. I listen to it when I go for walks, or even sometimes when I'm going to bed. This book helps you breakdown all the fallacies surrounding the benefits of drinking.
I also listen to Michael Sealey. He has a Youtube hypnosis video on overcoming problem drinking.

For me, deciding to have a break has made the biggest difference for me. Its taken all the pressure off. Its like the weight of the world is lifted off my shoulders. When I do drink, I'm always worried about it. How much will I drink? What time will I start? What pace will I go with? Will I go overboard again? What will I say or do? How will it look to my family? How hungover will I be? How depressed will I feel the next day? Who will I have to apologize to? All those problems magically disappear when I give myself a break. And my body and mind feel so much better, now that I crossed that line in the sand.

I hope you can figure out what works for you too. Im sure you can if you keep searching.
Take care
Gerard


4 months ago 0 Lynn123 322 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

John,

Hello and welcome! Coming to the realization that alcohol should not be a part of your life is hard. Seeing a counselor can be tough too. They often help us reveal aspects of our lives that we would rather stay hidden. These revelations are important though because we can't work on things that we don't know about.

It seems you are taking great first steps in the right direction. I wish you lots of luck. Hang in there!

Lynn

Hello,

Im new here - couldn’t seem to post in the intro area but I like what I see in this discussion. I can relate to all. I’ve been drinking for many years, sometimes socially and other times , too many times it has been a disaster with many casualties. sometimes I take a break. I need the sobriety to last this time. I need it for my family, for myself too. My doctor sent me to this site for daily accountability and I have begun seeing a counsellor. Apparently that is what I’m missing. I am facing some difficult truths but perhaps that means progress. No more blaming others. I’m ready. I need help. Thank you.

John

Hi Gus,

Congrats on making it over a week. Yay! How did you reward yourself?

It is recommended to take at least 90 days away from alcohol. Six months is even better!

Your emergency plan is solid. I am confident in your confidence. You will do this. The fact that you are posting so regularly is also solidifying your break. Awesome work!

Thank you for being here,

Ashley

4 months ago 0 Lynn123 322 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Gus,

Congratulations! It sounds like you have a solid plan and are on the right path. I know exactly what you are talking about, drawing the line in the sand. Once I told myself that I wasn't drinking again, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted. Sure, I had said I wasn't drinking before but in the back of my mind, I knew I really didn't mean it. Saying it and meaning it, meant that I didn't have to wonder when that next drink would be. There wasn't going to be one. It was horrifying to say it that first time but with every passing day, I realized the pressure was subsiding.

Taking things one day at a time. Slowing down and recognizing our accomplishments is key. It's all about the little things because they build-up to the bigger things. Keep up the nice work!

Lynn


4 months ago (Edited 4 months ago) 0 GusA 115 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Hey grapeseed,

Good to hear from you. I hope you can get a helpful idea or two from my posts.

Regarding the cravings issue - Allan Carrs book Easy Way to Control Alcohol clarified that issue for me. A “craving” is not really a craving for alcohol. It’s simply a feeling of uneasiness - that something is missing. When I drank, I did so in the evening, in front of the TV. I don’t actually “crave” alcohol. Rather, I am looking for something to have in my hand while watching TV. I have replaced alcohol with diet pop. I even pour it into the small glass I used when I drank alcohol. Diet pop is not that great for me either, but it won’t do the damage alcohol does.

I don’t know if my answer makes sense, but that’s how I’m thinking about it.

Also, I try not to worry about drinking too much. I have crossed the line in the sand now. I have decided on a 6 month break, which is August 31st. I’m not drinking for at least 6 months, so I don’t need to worry about it. I have found in the past that if I worried too much, I would think about alcohol too much. I’m just trying to form a new way living. Alcohol is not part of my plan for me right now.

One day at a time is the only way we can live. It’s the only way we can do anything really. You not skipping your workout today - that’s the type of living we need to focus on. We can’t magically get fit overnight. But if we stick with our regular regime, it pays off longer term. I just have to be patient. One day at a time can lead to huge improvement over the long term.

Hope you have a great day! Take care.


gus


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