thank you for your replies and advice
i am happy to say i went through my first day of being dry and am onto my second - i am finding the itch a lot stronger today but i am just trying to keep busy and not think about it
i am thinking about talking with a friend of mine - i am worried she will judge me and think i am a flat out drunk, which i'm not - i just know i drink too much and too often - i drink every day - and like i said before, once i get a drink in me i just want more and sometimes i don't even know how much i have had because i drink out of the bottle a lot - ya obviously i have a problem
anyways - i think if i tell her i want to go dry she'll hold me accountable because i am admitting it out loud
i have a therapist already for some problems with depression and eating disorder - but i am a little worried to talk with her because of her professional obligation to notify childrens services - i don't know if i can trust to talk with her
if you went to AA would they call
i have NEVER put my child at risk, nor do i engage in any abuse - my love for my child is too strong and thats why i want help - so i am never in a position where my actions put my child at risk -
i feel like sometimes i have to do this on my own and other times i think i shouldn't have to
i have recovered from my eating disorder (for the most part) so i know i can get through this - but i had SO much support with the eating disorder and i was open about my recovery
so i do feel REALLY embarrased and ashamed of myself when it comes to my drinking habits, its horrible
but thank you for your support here