EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Managing Drinking
Introduce Yourself
scared

Advanced Search Form

scared

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 118

Hi Spirit

Please don't beat yourself up..you are trying to change things in your life and have had a slip. So what..we all have! Try to pick yourself up and try again. It is a tough journey and you have taken the bravest step by admitting that you have a problem with alcohol. It does not mean you are a failiure or a bad person. The most important thing is that you get started again and keep trying. It is so obvious that you want to quit and we are all here for you. Try keeping occupied and tell people, if you can, your worries about the amount you drink. You will be surprised that the people who love you won't make judgements on you and will support you as they probably already know you have an addiction! They will be pleased YOU realise it and support you! Learning to say no thanks to a drink takes practise and I had a few sarcastic comments at first but after a few times people accepted that I meant it and supported me. Remember you are a nice human being!!!! It can only get better!!Good luck

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

spirit,

Rick_h brought up an excellent point, you are here, you are posting, and you want to make a change. That is definitely something to be proud of.

Have you reviewed your goals? What is it that you are trying to accomplish? Take things one step at a time. Cutting down or quitting drinking all together is a process, and as you know, unfortunately it does not happen over night. However, you are on the right track. You have taken some excellent steps in the right direction. You have joined the site, you have begun working through the program, and you post often. Keep at it spirit, you can do this.

Also, have you subscribed to the Text Message Tips program? You can subscribe through your personal profile. This program allows you to receive 31 text message tips over 31 days. Some cell phone providers charge you to receive text messages, so please check your plan before signing up. You can unsubscribe from our Text Message Tips program at any time. The AHC also offers an 11 week educational email program. Each day we’ll send you an email with interesting facts about drinking and your health. Most people find that the Educational Email Program helps them with goal setting. Our email program does not contain any marketing or spam. Just like the text messaging, you can automatically unsubscribe, or turn this feature "ON" or "OFF" at any time.

Members, do you mind sharing your experiences with spirit, or any words or wisdom or advice?

Stay strong spirit, you'll get there

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

You say nothing to be proud of today... but you are her - so to me that shows willingness to try and change your life and that is something to be proud of for sure. Hey if quitting was easy we all would have long long ago. Most of us don't get a handle on it right away and many of us need help to quit as well. Try and look on what you can take from this experience and try to use it down the road.

BTW the memory loss thing is normal when drinking and it often gets worse if the drinking does not slow down. In AA we refer to them as blackouts.

You can't change the past, you can't predict tomorrow, but you CAN change TODAY.

Yesterday is history, tomorrows a mystery, today is a gift.

That's why its called the present.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

nothing to be proud of today - i hate myself and my drinking

i lied to my husband and i am sure he knows i was lying - yesterday i had a glass of wine at my in laws and then two and then i took off from there - drinking when people weren't looking having beer, going into the house (we were all outside) so that i could drink gin and whiskey and then i think i stopped drinking then but i can't remember

i lose my memory a lot when i drink and i think it has a lot to do with the amount i drink and the medication i am on

anyways

i hate myself

and i don't know how to DO THIS

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

spirit,

Congratulations on making it through the day yesterday without having a drink. You should honestly feel very proud of yourself. In terms of your friend, I think that rick_h has offered some wonderful advice. Please let us know if you do decide to speak to her, and we'll support you all the way.

Hang in there. You are doing great, so please keep up the great work

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

First off congrats on getting through your first day! One day at a time!

I understand where you are coming from worried about what other people will think. I can't predict what your friends reaction will be but I can share how my friends did. Some of them argued that they didn't think I had a problem - they pointed out that they drank as much as I did ........ Others (and there were more of these than any of the others it seemed - almost everyone I knew suspected I had an issue except me) already thought or realized I had a problem and were happy I was wanting to do something about it. Others yet just couldn't grasp or understand my problem - they thought I should just slow down. That opinion can be common. The one thing I haven't encountered at least to my face is ridicule or being looked down upon by anyone I informed of my drinking problem (at least to my face).

Your friend may or may not understand however I am confident you will find that in AA you will find people that will understand. AA will not contact anyone or any institution to inform them of your problems. The last A or AA stands for anonymous. This to the point that we don't use last names in AA (which is why I go by Rick H here).

The shame you feel can be eased with some time. I was told I have a disease, the disease of alcoholism. It's the disease that tells me I don't have it. I didn't choose the disease - I choose to drink but not the disease. I am genetically wired different from non alcoholics. Research is starting to confirm the disease concept of alcoholism. Google the term THIQ and see what those for letters bring up it describes the disease concept theory quite well and gave me some comfort from the guilt. In AA we have a saying that we will love you back to health, until you learn to love yourself.

Your other problems you mentioned I like to point out are not uncommon. Depression and eating disorders seem common among many of us AA's and you might even meet some understanding friends with experience there as well. Low Self Esteem seems to be a common part of our malady and that tends to feed Depression and eating disorders.

Peace,

Rick H

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 15

thank you for your replies and advice

i am happy to say i went through my first day of being dry and am onto my second - i am finding the itch a lot stronger today but i am just trying to keep busy and not think about it

i am thinking about talking with a friend of mine - i am worried she will judge me and think i am a flat out drunk, which i'm not - i just know i drink too much and too often - i drink every day - and like i said before, once i get a drink in me i just want more and sometimes i don't even know how much i have had because i drink out of the bottle a lot - ya obviously i have a problem

anyways - i think if i tell her i want to go dry she'll hold me accountable because i am admitting it out loud

i have a therapist already for some problems with depression and eating disorder - but i am a little worried to talk with her because of her professional obligation to notify childrens services - i don't know if i can trust to talk with her

if you went to AA would they call

i have NEVER put my child at risk, nor do i engage in any abuse - my love for my child is too strong and thats why i want help - so i am never in a position where my actions put my child at risk -

i feel like sometimes i have to do this on my own and other times i think i shouldn't have to

i have recovered from my eating disorder (for the most part) so i know i can get through this - but i had SO much support with the eating disorder and i was open about my recovery

so i do feel REALLY embarrased and ashamed of myself when it comes to my drinking habits, its horrible

but thank you for your support here

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

The craving that you experience once you put the 1st drink in your body is a unique factor you will find only in alcoholics. And then the mental obsession that constantly urges you to lead you to believe that you can get away with just a few is a phenomenon a normal person couldn't understand and only alcoholics understand. And the spiritual malady when you are forced to go dry is another crucial piece of the disease.

Like rick_h pointed out, there is a solution. To undergo a psychic change by following few simple rules of AA or other spiritual teachings.

Good Luck.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 151

Hi Spirit and welcome to the AHC Support community.

Your fear is normal, most of the people I know (myself included) were scared just like you when they started to realize they had a problem, but had no idea if they could do it or how. But there is a sun above those clouds you are seeing. First off so long as you are not abusing your children or neglecting them I doubt you have much to worry about in regards to childrens services getting involved. I would suggest you start by educating yourself through this site and many others (hazelden) is one I like for its daily readings. Most people feel alot of shame when they first feel they have a drinking problem - try to be a little kinder to yourself - it took alot of courage to post here and to want to make a change. There are many options out there for you there are many outpatient treatment options, councellors that can help you. These people want you to succeed not to harm you by taking children unless they are in danger (personally I have never seen anyone that was trying to get help loose their kids - although I have seen the opposite people try and get help becvause they lost their kids).There is also AA as an option - that fellowship has been instrunmental in getting and keeping me not only sober for the last almost 3 years but has also helped me become happy about it and thats something I never inagined possible.

Keep posting and asking!

Rick H

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hello Spirit,

Thank you for sharing your story with us. There are many people within this support group that share the same questions and concerns as you. We are all a group of individuals who support each other.

Please take the time to review the program and the tools and resources available to you. Work sessions have been created that will assist you in understanding the condition better, as well as devising strategies to help you overcome your concerns. It is strongly advised that you work through the program and sessions for a successful outcome.

You have made the first important step by identifying and acknowledging that there is a drinking problem. The program is devised to help you recognize patterns and alter certain behaviours that may be a trigger for you. Please do work through the sessions and browse through the forums for added help and advice.

Please continue to strive forward and lean on us for support.

Faryal, Health Educator

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

scared