Day 80 :) I am so excited to be closing in on the 90 day mark. And even more excited about the fact that I don't doubt I will reach 90 days. I remember not being sure if I'd hit two weeks. Then not being really sure I'd hit 30 days. But I am 100% sure I will hit 90 days, and that confidence and ability to trust myself is even better than the actual day count. I am SO SO SO SO happy that today I can say thay I haven't smoked in over two months, instead of saying, "Damn it Stella, if you'd just stuck to it two+ months ago, it would be over by now" (which was my refrain for the entire year before I finally stuck to this quit).
Sparrow, my ongoing braces journey is my reward to me :) My bite plate feels more like a punishment lol, but it's so distracting that the thought of smoking on top of it just seems tiresome. My brain is full, haha, no room for smoking thoughts, so just go away. That's how I've been feeling the past few days - thoughts of smoking feel tiresome. On the same level as thinking of an overflowing laundry hamper. I like to think of it as the addiction itself growing tired of fighting. It can see who's in charge now, and its efforts to thwart me are growing increasingly pathetic and meek. Sparrow, freedom from ALL addictions feels SO GOOD. Indescribable. I mentioned in an earlier post that as a side effect of quitting smoking, some of my other not-helpful behaviours have fallen away as well. Prior to this quit, I was free of my "primary" addictions, but addiction lived on through smoking, the way I treated food, avoidant behaviour at times, watching too much Netflix, etc. Throughout the past 80 days it's like I totally leveled up in my recovery. I have so much time and brain space that was previously unavailable to me. Do not stop trying.
I hope no one minds if I continue to use this space for one entire "trip around the sun". My posts will naturally grow fewer and farther in between I'm sure, but I want to document the full year and stay accountable. Complacency is my < enemy now. This thread helps me stay grateful, and that gratitude keeps me smoke-free.