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June quitter

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Timbo, turns out we were both wrong! My quit date turns out to be the 20th, so tomorrow is the big day. I was counting by days, and saw the "180 days" marker and whooped it up prematurely. The good news is that the bummer mood is passing like I knew it would, so I'm confident that I'll make it to the half year mark tomorrow. Staying firm on the quit during tough moments is exercising my resistance muscle and for that I am grateful. I get to learn that panic urges WILL pass, even if I feel like I'm about to explode for a bit. Nothing in life remains static forever, and that goes for feelings and cravings as well (and I'd like to clarify for new quitters that I wasn't having specific cravings to smoke, I was having cravings to act out, which smoking would now fit into... I was having cravings to do lots of other not-good-for-me things, too). There's a lot of comfort and strength to be gained by really understanding that all things must pass. Good things and bad things, it will all pass on to the next. It's simply not possible to remain in a state of agitated panic for extended periods of time; if nothing else, we tire ourselves out and the feeling goes into an ebb. I held on to that thought while the pressure mounted, and sometime yesterday I felt it crest and break. And man, am I ever grateful that I don't have to quit smoking again now that the insane feelings have passed. What a terrible thing that would be, to come out of the fire only to find myself smoking. When I was using cigarettes as a crutch, these insane moments would come and go, but the base problem of being a smoker would be a constant, so there wasn't really a chance to feel full relief. Now when the intense feelings ebb away, I feel a deeper sense of relief than I ever did before. I get to enjoy some true figurative and literal breathing space in a way I didn't get to before.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 802

Hi StellaBlue,

Half a year now, BIG congratulations to YOU!

I must have miscounted, I thought the 22nd was your anniversary, sorry. "I'm having a hard time at the moment and feel like acting out, but I don't want to have to quit again so I'm staying the course just to avoid having to repeat all this nonsense." Ouch, sorry to hear things are rough at the moment for you. Distract yourself, do something new and different. Hang in there, you're stronger than the urge. Once again, congratulations on a job well done.

Stay strong.

Not One Puff Ever

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$24,623.50

Amount Saved
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Days: 792 Hours: 21

Minutes: 44 Seconds: 5

Life Gained
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4070

Smoke Free Days
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89,540

Cigarettes Not Smoked

Stay safe & Strong.

Not One Puff Ever (NOPE)

Tim

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

I made it to 6 months :) I'm having a hard time at the moment and feel like acting out, but I don't want to have to quit again so I'm staying the course just to avoid having to repeat all this nonsense.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 802

Hi StellaBlue,

Twelve more days and you will have been a quitter for 6 months you June quitter you!

Stay strong.

Not One Puff Ever

Quit Meter

$24,623.50

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 792 Hours: 21

Minutes: 44 Seconds: 5

Life Gained
Quit Meter

4070

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

89,540

Cigarettes Not Smoked

Stay safe & Strong.

Not One Puff Ever (NOPE)

Tim

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

right now you're my idol StellaBlue! :)

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$410,814.00

Amount Saved
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Days: 8321 Hours: 15

Minutes: 8 Seconds: 23

Life Gained
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45646

Smoke Free Days
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684,690

Cigarettes Not Smoked

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

On hour 6 ... it's 12:30 lunchtime - last one at 6:30AM .... about to cry ... for real ... am a 49 year old man whos smoked 15-20 a day for 30+ years - need to keep moving ... this is tough! :( .... have to persevere ... moment to moment right?

Quit Meter

$410,814.00

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 8321 Hours: 15

Minutes: 8 Seconds: 23

Life Gained
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45646

Smoke Free Days
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684,690

Cigarettes Not Smoked

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

Day 166. My favourite thing about posting here today is that my thread is titled "June quitter" and it is now December and it's still alive. My quit spans 7 different months! And three seasonal changes - hot summer, cool autumn, and as of a couple weeks ago, snow. Seeing people in their pjs and parkas, smoking and shivering in the dark on their front stoops as I drive home at night.... I'm so glad to not be doing that this winter. It's not a cute look. And none of these people appear to be enjoying themselves as much as I used to tell myself I was enjoying my own pjs-and-parka smokes.

Now my official update on how it feels at this point in my quit: I do not think of smoking at all, for 99% of my time. I don't dream about it. I don't miss it when I see others smoking. My thoughts are simply on other things at this point. As for that other 1%, what that looks like in real time is about one thought every 3-4 weeks - when I am feeling particularly agitated and just have that feeling that I want to do *something* to temper it. And even then, it's not a thought that entertains the idea of smoking; it's a thought more like, "Gee, I used to smoke when I had this feeling." It's like an acknowledgement or memory that I used to have a go-to "plan of action" for this feeling, but now that option no longer seems like a reasonable response. Now, I temper that agitated feeling by taking a break from whatever it is that is causing the feeling. I go out for a walk with my dog to discharge the nervous energy. I go make some tea. I have a snack. I put on a record and do something else for a bit. I do deep breathing. Before I quit, I thought nothing would ever hit the spot quite like a cigarette. Post-quit, I find that a) that particular "spot" only existed BECAUSE I was smoking, and b) there are better options to address anxiety than a cigarette anyway. Cigarettes were just the loudest options, not the best ones. There's a difference.

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2534

Just keep on keeping on!!!!

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$59,356.00

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Days: 1175 Hours: 14

Minutes: 3 Seconds: 33

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5396

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118,712

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6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 175

5 months!!! Wow...l came in when you were at about 1 month and to me its felt like about 3 months not 5. Wtg girl!!! What a massive achievement to be free of every nasty addiction demon. Oh how l wish l had have done it back then and looking back on it all rather than still fighting this battle. Youre so right the time passes anyway and youre better off doing something positive with it...biting the bullet rather than dragging out the pain of quitting and busting. I dont know how you did it with yr partner smoking around you and now yoire being tested with different pressures and youre concluding that cigs wouldnt help. You truly are a reformed smoker....kudos to you Stella, what an awesome gift to give yrself. I still havent given up on the idea but lm so sick of trying and failing. I go into panic mode when l quit and cant deal with the stress. But l cant keep going round this mountain....somethings gotta give and lm afraid if its not the smokes it will be my health. Thanks for all your inspiration. I have loved reading your insights about your quitting journey. Addiction is such a ***** and you finally kicked it all. Hope youre enjoying the rainbows

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$15,744.00

Amount Saved
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Days: 115 Hours: 1

Minutes: 36 Seconds: 16

Life Gained
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1968

Smoke Free Days
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39,360

Cigarettes Not Smoked

6 years ago 0 +0 / -0 180

5 MONTHS TODAY!!!

I just re-read my thread from beginning to end, and I'm pinching myself that I'm sitting where I am right now. Stressed out and uncomfortable with massive homework piling up on top of me (I'm also a mature student in my other life!) and a big work thing coming up this week, and my partner is away again for 4 months so I'm lonely..... and I do not want to smoke!! Five months ago, what I just wrote out would be the equivalent of three excellent justifications to smoke, and what would feel like an absolute need to take a time out to soothe myself with a cigarette. Today? Not so much. In fact, adding a smoke on top of this blaze sounds like pretty much the worst thing I can do. I am in continual awe at how much quitting smoking has improved my ability to cope with stress in my life. It is by far the most unexpected side effect of my quit, as well as one of the most amazing. I operated for so long thinking that smoking was helping me with my stress, and I was so, so wrong. It's hard to even articulate it - it's kind of like taking smokes out of the equation has turned off the spotlight. Stress was such an overpowering, loud, and unbearable feeling for me, and now that I'm not surrounding "stress" with all of the desperate smoking associations, actions, and feelings, stress has been minimized to a manageable facet in my life. I thought that money and the smell would be the biggest payoffs for me, but this stress thing is the real surprise winner!

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