Todash: I'm definitely feeding them the power bars. Thank you for the gerbils-- they are good peddlers and look pretty cute with the matching hats I got for them.
Here's the wonderful, terrific news. I haven't had any cravings at all in the last 2 days--haven't thought much about smoking at all. The bad news is that I'm struggling with depression-- really really bad to the point that I'm feeling non-functional. You know the: can't breathe, can't blink, can't think, everything sucks, I want to poke people's eyeballs out, want to sleep all of the time, yadda yadda. A lot of you know what I'm talking about.
I've given this some thought, and am hoping that my smoking wasn't masking a bigger problem that needs to be addressed. I've struggled with depression on and off for years, but it's been a really long time since I've had any symptoms (like 4 years). On the other hand, I'm familiar enough with addiction to know that when we are withdrawing, there are going to be a lot of really awful feelings..... which may pass given some time.
So before I run off to the therapists, or end up sitting at a doctor's office, I thought I'd try and ride this out for a bit. I'm not a huge glutton for punishment, but given that my life is basically fine other than the whole withdrawal thing, it makes me think that this is perhaps a withdrawal response.
I don't know, but it feels bad. I want it to go away, like right now.
I had my first encounter with a cigerette today. I was walking outside of a store, and a huge smoke wave passed in front of my face (from a nearby smoker). Akk! Gross. The smell was really horrible.
Not missing that at all.
So not all bad news :) I'm grateful that I'm not craving, and I'm grateful that even though I feel like everything's wrong, everything isn't. I will sit patiently and wait....
deb
My Milage:My Quit Date: 1/25/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 8
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 192
Amount Saved: $76.80
Life Gained:Days: 0
Hrs: 22
Mins: 42
Seconds: 7