I thought i would sign back in. As you know i went to Cyprus which was my reward for not smoking. I have learnt that this is not the way to play it, as when the holiday turned out really bad and completely stressful - I ended up smoking. In fact i almost did worse than that. I had a bag that i had been using exactly the year before. Inside the bag was half a cigarette, that i had half smoked the year before......
It was there - and i smoked it. Then that was that, next day they were cheap so I bought a packet. to be honest I sat there with the packet in my hand, unopened, and i wasnt even sure if I wanted them. But things were going so wrong, it was all out of my control. Smoking was the only thing I was in control of (pity I didnt think that not smoking was something i was in control of). I did the whole - ok will smoke on holiday, then not when I get back to the Uk... But I got off the plane and things had been a bit rocky, so I continued to smoke. I cleared my house from top to bottom and continued to smoke.
Now I am once again at the point where i have to give up. I was so proud of myself for not smoking. I did it because my boyfriend wanted me to, then we fell out on holiday I thought what is the point? I smoked to spite him. Stupid thing was I only spited myself.
I have Zyban from my doctor, but they are not really making me not want to smoke. Stupid thing was that i had saved a prescription ready to take with my for my travels but I missed the chemist, then couldnt find another open on Sat and I flew out early hours Mon morning. I tried to buy them in Cyprus (zyban) but they would have cost me �60!!! So I decided to quit when I returned home, and get some Zyban.
Of course it was all the junkie thoughts again, excuses to keep on smoking.
So tomorrow I have set as my quit date. I will come back tomorrow and keep posting, instead of smoking I will post.
Anyway thats me, I will be back tomorrow. So good to see so many of you still at it. Well done!