Hyriel I am only a few days ahead of you, but can honestly say that that for me days 4 and 5 were the toughest days - I cried a lot, shouted a lot and basically was pretty unbearable! BUT! Here I am just a few days later, and suddenly it all seems so much better! Yes, you do still seem to think about "it" most of your waking hours, but it just doesn't seem to be quite so hard to cope with it. From everything I have read on this wonderful board, we will have times in the next few weeks, months and maybe even years when we will need to be strong, but by getting this far, you have already proved how strong you are and you will therefore be able to get through it. I agree with the comment regarding your teenage son - I have 2 teenage children - they are my main motivation for quitting - how upset I would be if I ever found them smoking - therefore I HAVE to set the right example to them. The other positive - they are seeing that smoking is NOT something you can dabble with - I can quite honestly say, and I am sure many will agree, that this has to be one of, if not the, toughest things I have ever done. We are all there for you.

Dear Hyriel1, I completely feel for you right now. I haven't a clue what you are going through, being a single mom, divorced, so I wont pretend I do. The only thing I do have a clue on are these 2 things: First: I was in Hell Week not long ago. It was hard. Felt like the worst thing that had happened to me. I cried, I laughed, I screamed, I was a complete bi***, but ya know what? I got thru it. I felt out of control -- trying to be in control. But this is your detox. You have been poisoning your body for a while. Your body has to cleanse itself. To rid itself of what you have done to it. And your body and mind is trying to get back at you. But, it wont last long. Second: Life is life sweety. I dont mean to be bit***, or seem like I dont care, but life is hard. If it were easy, how could we be proud of our achievements? Life throws anything it can at us. The more that is thrown, and the harder it is thrown, makes us stronger. So, since you have had a wad thrown at you, I bet you are stronger at this moment. Sense it. Feel it. It is there. Now, fight the craves! We all know you can do it. Throw away all that cr** of smoking, and believe you are an ex-smoker. You are. You deserve a life. I dont even know you, but we share enough of a bond that I know you dont deserve to die. You own your own choice. You own your quit. Dont let life take that from you. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/5/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 534 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $55.59 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 10 [B]Mins:[/B] 22 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37

Hey Hyriel, Glad your feeling better to day. This support system is really great! Keep your mind strong. Here's a hug and best wishes. I know you won't smoke again! M [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/6/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 476 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $102 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

Hello friends, WOW! That's all I can say is WOW! Your support and encouragement is so very much appreciated! It's hard to believe that a group of perfect strangers could care about me so much and take such an interest in my well being. I don't even know what to say. It truly brings tears to my eyes! It's always been hard for me to ask for help and admit weakness. I'm the one who has always been strong for everyone else... so I'm not "allowed" to be weak or to need someone to take care of me. Except, of course, I DO need that... just hard for me to admit it. I'm still in a bit of a funk, but a little better than I was last nite. I am fighting a battle with keeping my motivation up. I can almost deal with the physical cravings better than I can with the psychological crap. But, going in to this, I knew this was going to be a psychological battle for me more than anything else. The feelings of depression and just being down are really starting to get to me. (I listened to a comedy CD in the car on the way to work today and that seemed to help a bit. Got me laughing anyway!) I'm feeling "needy" and I hate feeling like that. YUK!!! Anyway, even with all this... I made up my mind today that I won't smoke! I will get thru today, and I will deal with tomorrow when it gets here. I'm pulling out my list of REASONS FOR QUITTING that I wrote a day or 2 before I quit and I'll read it over and over if I have to. I am so grateful to have you all!! Thank you for the support, the encouragement, the concern, the love and THE HUGS!!! Right back at ya!!! XOXOXOXOXOX Hyriel [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/18/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 5 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 108 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $27.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 6

Hey all, I'm in the middle of Hell Week and this is the worst day I've had so far. Feeling very depressed and anxious and boy, have I been craving a cigarette all day. Yesterday, I was OK. Laughed thru most of the day. Today, it's like a complete 360 from yesterday. I think a lot of it has to do with me not feeling really good about my relationship with a guy I've been seeing for the past couple of months. Things seemed to be going really well for a while and suddenly it feels different... like he's pulling back or not really "in" this as much as I am. I'm a divorced, single mom who has devoted the past 13 years to raising my son. I've had 2 brief relationships in the past 11 years since I've been divorced and have been alone... pretty much out of choice... for the past 5 years. I chose to be alone because I didn't want to get hurt again and wanted to wait for someone really special to come along before I would open myself up again. Well, I thought I found that person... now, I'm not so sure. I'm a little angry at the moment... I need his support right now and while he has called me to see how I'm doing, I need more. I need for him to tell me he's proud of me... and I need a hug dammit!! Anyway... I think the fact that I'm feeling badly about this is causing me to have some really strong cravings and I'm feeling weak at the moment. I have a confession to make. After I hung up the phone with him last nite, I went out to the garage, found a half of a cigarette in the ashtray, lit it and took 2 puffs. It was disgusting, tasted horrible, made me dizzy... AND it immediately calmed me down (unfortunately yes, it still had that effect). So, I'm here my friends... feeling miserable and asking for help. I'm at work and I have to get out of here before I make a total fool of myself because I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I'm writing this. Why does this have to be so damn hard... why does life have to be so damn hard??? I gotta run... Thanks buds! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/18/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 4 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 94 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $22 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 12 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

Hyriel 1, I wish I knew what to say to you, any kind of stress right now can make you do things you don't want to do.I don't care if it is spilled milk. I believe you have a mixture of emotions going on. Your withdrawls may be making you think that your friend is pulling away, have you talked with him about this? It might be your fear of being hurt again and right now you are in HELL WEEK, :eg: and HELL WEEk can make you believe anything. Not knowing your situation, who am I to say. But it is just something that came to mind. Hang in there and protect your quit for yourself first and then think of your 13 year old son and how this will influence him. I'm saying all of this because I care and here are some hugs for you. HUG,HUG,HUG,HUG,HUG,HUG,HUG,HUG'SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SUNSHINE [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 74 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,271 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $259 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 10 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 50

I had a really stressful day on Day 5, problems kept popping up and I just broke down and cried. But, you know, why not cry? It's better than smoking, which just makes the day worse because then you've caved. The best way I know to handle stress is to deal with problems immediately, head-on. Take some deep breaths, calm down, forgive yourself for the puffs (good for you for putting it out!), and ask your boyfriend for a HUG! Then tell him that this is a long process and right now is the worst time. You need his support. He doesn't know exactly how to act and he's probably worried you'll turn into psycho-woman if he does something wrong. Just talk to him. It'll be OK. Good luck. It does get easier. Adrienne

Hyriel, cannot really add to what has been said so I won't try but glad tp here today is better. I wouldn't view coming here for support as a weakness at all - far from it, it actually takes a lot of courage to ask for help when you truly need it. As everyone else has said, smoking solves nothing - so don't do it! Keep strong - you will have done 1 week before you know it. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/6/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 45 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 548 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �112.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 8 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 42

Hi Hyriel1, Just remember that everything you are feeling is still going to be there if you smoke. Only if you smoke, you will have one more thing to add to the list of things that are bothering you. Whenever I have a crave, I think about how sick I am going to feel if I smoke. I can acutally feel how sick it will make me. Smoking will not change anything that is going on in our lives. You think cigarettes are expensive now can you imagine how much they would cost if they actually did that? I know it might be hard to believe right now, but you will really feel better if you don't smoke. The longer you go the better you will feel. Even through all the crap that goes along with quitting, deep down you feel so good about yourself because it is something you and only you are in control of. Stay strong. You can do it! IWIN [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 70 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,419 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $280 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7

Hyriel.....Rosie is right. Smoking won't make things better with your boyfriend, nor will it improve your state of mind.....it definitely would send the wrong signal to your son, and make you very angry at yourself for losing 4 days. You ARE in Hell Week. And smoking is an addiction. You "felt" better because your body is going thru some pretty massive withdrawals right now, and it [b]WANTS THE DRUG BACK[/b] Hate to be blunt, but you are no different than a crack or coke addict right now.......the body is demanding a fix, you are under stress, this is a major trigger for any current or ex smoker. You need to figure out your reasons for your quit and hold them tight. Quitting is simple, but it's not easy. If you don't have a good handle on YOUR reason to quit, you will struggle with this. Please dispose of any and all smoking related paraphanelia now. And keep coming back here and posting. You CAN do this. You can...... stay strong........ [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/19/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 93 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,406 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $627.75 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 41